Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the local Sears to pay a bill and after that,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick ups much needed groceries and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I went to my room upstairs to throw some garbage away that needed to be thrown away.It took me about two hours to get done,but I managed to get everything done and when I was finished,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate from day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,throw it on hm as a burden,and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a much calmer and more level plain.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating in the wee early morning hours.I had a throbbing erection and I grabbed a hold of my genitals and masturbated away.I really felt miserable after this particular fall and I immediately asked my heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.This fall was mostly emotional,though there was some lusting involved as well.I did feel much better after asking my Heavenly Father for forgiveness as I was truly sorry for sinning against him.I know and truly believe that I am forgiven and that my Heavenly Father has wiped the slate clean.For the rest of the day,I tried to keep busy as to not fall again like I did this morning.I was out for some of the day and I concentrated on the cleaning work in my upstairs bedroom.Nothing hindered me for the rest of the day as I went along.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments.Your prayers and encouraging are not only very important to me,but also are desperately needed.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, August 03, 2013
Friday, August 02, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
It is time to catch up on the last two days.I missed posting an entry yesterday and I want to catch up.
Yesterday,I had an appointment with my therapist and that session went great.Before that,I went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting also went well.I also had lunch at a local kitchen after the group meeting was over.Later on in the afternoon,while I was home,I e-mailed my resume to somebody who is hiring in my area and I got an immediate phone call to have an interview set up today.I turned in for the night later on.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed up in a dress shirt,slacks and tie and eagerly awaited for the phone call to come.I waited for the call for most of the day and when it came,I met the interviewer at a local Tim Horton's and according to the interviewer,everything was great and that I will hear from them Monday morning at 9:00am.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money that I needed and after I did that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of the dress clothes and into my casual clothes and headed out to give a little bit of money for something that I am paying on.After that,I got a half gallon of milk at a convenience store and got some gas at the gas pumps.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk and started to heat up something for dinner and while eating,I watched the evening news for a while and later on,after doing some more personal PC work,I paid a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply,as a burden,take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften.When it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as I had too much on my mind.I had the job interview and that really was wonderful and I kept busy throughout the day with other things and that took my mind off of my SSA struggles.The only thing that I ask is for all of you to please keep up praying for me as I am still going through a difficult time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very valuable to me and they do help in keeping me going in this struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day yesterday and today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
It is time to catch up on the last two days.I missed posting an entry yesterday and I want to catch up.
Yesterday,I had an appointment with my therapist and that session went great.Before that,I went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting also went well.I also had lunch at a local kitchen after the group meeting was over.Later on in the afternoon,while I was home,I e-mailed my resume to somebody who is hiring in my area and I got an immediate phone call to have an interview set up today.I turned in for the night later on.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed up in a dress shirt,slacks and tie and eagerly awaited for the phone call to come.I waited for the call for most of the day and when it came,I met the interviewer at a local Tim Horton's and according to the interviewer,everything was great and that I will hear from them Monday morning at 9:00am.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money that I needed and after I did that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of the dress clothes and into my casual clothes and headed out to give a little bit of money for something that I am paying on.After that,I got a half gallon of milk at a convenience store and got some gas at the gas pumps.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk and started to heat up something for dinner and while eating,I watched the evening news for a while and later on,after doing some more personal PC work,I paid a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply,as a burden,take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften.When it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as I had too much on my mind.I had the job interview and that really was wonderful and I kept busy throughout the day with other things and that took my mind off of my SSA struggles.The only thing that I ask is for all of you to please keep up praying for me as I am still going through a difficult time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very valuable to me and they do help in keeping me going in this struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day yesterday and today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got dressed up and I went to one of the places that I applied for a job to see when I might be called for an interview.After about a couple of minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and I went back home to register the bill at Where's George and when that was done,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that,I turned in a little bit of bottles and cans that I had in the back seat of my car and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of lounge pants and decided to do some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.When that happens,I talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I really lay this on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On both occasions,I tossed and I turned as I didn't want to give into these temptations that come at me during the wee early morning hours.I didn't want to fall again like I did on Monday.I need to keep saying to myself that I own these unnatural sexual desires that I have and that they don't own me.On both these occasions,it worked.The erections both died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to masturbate or "near masturbate."It wasn't just to sexual images of men.There was also an emotional thing to it as well,as some of the time,though not often,I masturbate to relieve me of any sexual tensions that I might have.I know that this isn't an outlet for a single guy like myself,but since I am so used to doing that,it seems to be a regular ritual.Nowadays,it doesn't happen every day like it did when I was younger.But it has become a habit,although I know way deep down that masturbation is a disgustingly dirty and unclean habit.Today,the temptation to masturbate was for mostly emotional reasons and not mostly due to sexual images of men clouding my mind,though that is a contributing factor most of the time alongside the emotional stuff.This time around,I had to really pray hard and ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength fight and resist this particular urge today.I also need to learn more cleaner ways to relieve myself of my sexual tension as I do have quite a bot of it.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist the urge repeatedly as the temptation to do that really hounded me through the day.After finishing praying,I did feel much stronger and also,felt that my heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.While I did do that today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words from all of you who regularly visit my blog and read the posts.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also motivate continually to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got dressed up and I went to one of the places that I applied for a job to see when I might be called for an interview.After about a couple of minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and I went back home to register the bill at Where's George and when that was done,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that,I turned in a little bit of bottles and cans that I had in the back seat of my car and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of lounge pants and decided to do some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.When that happens,I talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I really lay this on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On both occasions,I tossed and I turned as I didn't want to give into these temptations that come at me during the wee early morning hours.I didn't want to fall again like I did on Monday.I need to keep saying to myself that I own these unnatural sexual desires that I have and that they don't own me.On both these occasions,it worked.The erections both died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to masturbate or "near masturbate."It wasn't just to sexual images of men.There was also an emotional thing to it as well,as some of the time,though not often,I masturbate to relieve me of any sexual tensions that I might have.I know that this isn't an outlet for a single guy like myself,but since I am so used to doing that,it seems to be a regular ritual.Nowadays,it doesn't happen every day like it did when I was younger.But it has become a habit,although I know way deep down that masturbation is a disgustingly dirty and unclean habit.Today,the temptation to masturbate was for mostly emotional reasons and not mostly due to sexual images of men clouding my mind,though that is a contributing factor most of the time alongside the emotional stuff.This time around,I had to really pray hard and ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength fight and resist this particular urge today.I also need to learn more cleaner ways to relieve myself of my sexual tension as I do have quite a bot of it.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist the urge repeatedly as the temptation to do that really hounded me through the day.After finishing praying,I did feel much stronger and also,felt that my heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.While I did do that today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words from all of you who regularly visit my blog and read the posts.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also motivate continually to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I firstly dropped off some free newspapers to a few people that I knew and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a few bottles.After that,I headed over to see a friend to see how he was doing and to talk over some things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up and endure the symptoms of Schizophrenia and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both times.I tossed and I turned until the erection started to soften and I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after getting up that involved "near masturbation"(substitute for my typical "manipulate(ing)my genitals" phrase as I was trying to find a more mature way to avoid the common immature sexual slang phrase "playing with myself" in hopes that I try to avoid tempting anyone who reads what I post here on my blog)when sexual images of men clouded my mind as I was still trying to wake myself as I was still sleepy,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and for the lust that I had that motivated the "near masturbation" that I fell in to.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into that particular temptation.I felt better after I finished and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to continue to indulge in this sort of thing.The temptations were very powerful and overwhelming.I kept asking my heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to give me the needed strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to fall into sin again.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning that each and every day.I am always in the need of help and support from anyone out there who also struggles with SSA.I am always in need of emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am alone in my hometown and there are hardly any support groups out there in my hometown that can help me out.This is why I am always asking that those of who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need all the encouraging words that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging are very valuable to me.They also both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made nay plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day for today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I firstly dropped off some free newspapers to a few people that I knew and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a few bottles.After that,I headed over to see a friend to see how he was doing and to talk over some things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up and endure the symptoms of Schizophrenia and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both times.I tossed and I turned until the erection started to soften and I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after getting up that involved "near masturbation"(substitute for my typical "manipulate(ing)my genitals" phrase as I was trying to find a more mature way to avoid the common immature sexual slang phrase "playing with myself" in hopes that I try to avoid tempting anyone who reads what I post here on my blog)when sexual images of men clouded my mind as I was still trying to wake myself as I was still sleepy,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and for the lust that I had that motivated the "near masturbation" that I fell in to.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into that particular temptation.I felt better after I finished and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to continue to indulge in this sort of thing.The temptations were very powerful and overwhelming.I kept asking my heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to give me the needed strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to fall into sin again.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning that each and every day.I am always in the need of help and support from anyone out there who also struggles with SSA.I am always in need of emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am alone in my hometown and there are hardly any support groups out there in my hometown that can help me out.This is why I am always asking that those of who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need all the encouraging words that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging are very valuable to me.They also both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made nay plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day for today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, July 29, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,it was a rainy day.We had non-stop rain throughout the day.I simply used the occasion to clean up around the house as it was raining.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continue moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get through this struggle when it tries to get the better of me and they both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a more calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here.I fell again this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I really felt miserable after I had fallen.I don't know what I am doing wrong here.I don't know why I keep falling here and there.After my fall,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for the fall and I really begged for his mercy as this was one of those continuous cycles of falls that have been happening as of late.After praying,I felt better and truly believed that I was forgiven.I also truly believed that the slate was wiped clean.I ask that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me a comment or two in the comment section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks to also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,it was a rainy day.We had non-stop rain throughout the day.I simply used the occasion to clean up around the house as it was raining.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continue moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get through this struggle when it tries to get the better of me and they both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a more calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here.I fell again this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I really felt miserable after I had fallen.I don't know what I am doing wrong here.I don't know why I keep falling here and there.After my fall,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for the fall and I really begged for his mercy as this was one of those continuous cycles of falls that have been happening as of late.After praying,I felt better and truly believed that I was forgiven.I also truly believed that the slate was wiped clean.I ask that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me a comment or two in the comment section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks to also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up and headed for church for the morning's outdoor worship service and the brunch afterwards.
Both the service and the brunch were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,which included me helping out with the clean-up,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did some reading and relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I also have to endure hearing sounds and noises that only I can hear and nobody else can,such as voices calling out my name,footsteps and turning around to see that nobody is there other than me and other things of that nature.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply turn this particular struggle over to my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure and get me through all the negative effects of having this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation yet again late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and it led to ejaculation.I was really miserable after that happened and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his mercy because I was really sorry for failing him yet again.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to forgive me for sinning and for giving into the temptation to lust and fantasize with other men.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I sinned again.I was truly sorry for what I had done.I didn't want to sin,but my sinful and imperfect nature took over me and I gave into the the lusts and temptations of the flesh.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.I prayed everything to him and I repeatedly asked for his forgiveness and for his mercy upon me.After I was finished praying,I did feel much better and I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I also truly knew and believed that the slate was wiped clean.I am again asking that all of you to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I have been falling like crazy lately and I really need some prayerful support from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They visit,but don't leave anything encouraging and/or upbuilding.Please leave me an encouraging word when you visit as I truly need some encouraging words and your prayers.They both help keep me going in this struggle and help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Yes,encouraging words and prayers are both helpful and I really and desperately need them day after day.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up and headed for church for the morning's outdoor worship service and the brunch afterwards.
Both the service and the brunch were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,which included me helping out with the clean-up,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did some reading and relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I also have to endure hearing sounds and noises that only I can hear and nobody else can,such as voices calling out my name,footsteps and turning around to see that nobody is there other than me and other things of that nature.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply turn this particular struggle over to my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure and get me through all the negative effects of having this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation yet again late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and it led to ejaculation.I was really miserable after that happened and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his mercy because I was really sorry for failing him yet again.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to forgive me for sinning and for giving into the temptation to lust and fantasize with other men.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I sinned again.I was truly sorry for what I had done.I didn't want to sin,but my sinful and imperfect nature took over me and I gave into the the lusts and temptations of the flesh.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.I prayed everything to him and I repeatedly asked for his forgiveness and for his mercy upon me.After I was finished praying,I did feel much better and I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I also truly knew and believed that the slate was wiped clean.I am again asking that all of you to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I have been falling like crazy lately and I really need some prayerful support from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They visit,but don't leave anything encouraging and/or upbuilding.Please leave me an encouraging word when you visit as I truly need some encouraging words and your prayers.They both help keep me going in this struggle and help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Yes,encouraging words and prayers are both helpful and I really and desperately need them day after day.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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