Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.When that was done,I headed for the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away and I finished my personal PC work.After that was done,since I had no place to go and nothing to do,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always difficult and it never seems to get any better.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever it seems to be getting that way as I just mentioned,I take this particular struggle to God and ask him to help get me through all of the ups and downs and hallucinatory effects of what I have psychiatric disability wise and both God and Christ Jesus help in sustaining me.With them helping me and leading the way,I have nothing to worry about and I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the nasty temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection continued to throb more.I had to sit up and attempt to get up and that is when the erection,though slowly,started to soften.I also walked a little and when I started doing that,I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,which I did and after I was finished,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up out of bed in the mid morning and I was still feeling tired and drowsy,so my mind drifted off and sexual images of men started to cloud my mind and I started to lust and then,started manipulating my genitals to these lustful images and was at the point or orgasm,but managed to stop myself and I really felt miserable after doing this.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that sin.I prayed really hard and I felt better knowing that I was truly forgiven and God had forgotten my sin.This still brings to mind one thing:Satan and his minions are using everything that they can on me to make me forsake my healing of these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have and deliberately live in sexual sin.I am continuously willfully refusing to do that,but I also know that Satan and his minions will never give up.They are going to keep at this until I decided to give up and run right back to that sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,they can try to really drain out energy.But again,I am willfully refusing to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by simply going out to find men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.Though I am making that choice,I am learning constantly that the choice does have it's difficulties.The thing is even when I am not going out and seeking other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual sin with them,Satan tries to use other means to get me to act out by using sexual images of men to cloud my mind to get me to lust after them and also,to fantasize with them,and to manipulate my genitals with these images.I am always in a fight with these things and it always gets even more difficult.I have to keep telling myself never to give Satan and his minions what they want,though it also means that they will stay keep up with their ways of tempting me to act out no matter how much I work to try and resist them.I also kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day and I never ceased.Every time I did that,I always felt better and much stronger as I asked God in Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible satanically influenced temptations.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed up to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had an orientation with an organization to set me up with a local job placement program so I can start finding work real soon.I am getting tired of just sitting down on my duff and doing little if nothing.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The orientation went great.After it was over,they informed that I should hear from them with 4-6 weeks or sooner.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have some lunch and after lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into some casual clothes and finished the rest of my personal PC work.When that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms and continuous emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or by the minute/moment within the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotional patterns will be like.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was hit with a triple whammy during three separate intervals in wee early morning hours.I was awakened by throbbing erections during those three separate intervals and they were very overwhelming.I tossed and I turned on each occasion,but the erections continued to throb.I had to sit up for a while on all three occasions and I lost some sleep as a result.Fortunately,they all softened while I was sitting up on each occasion and I went back to sleep after them all.Though I escaped this triple whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept asking God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit all of these terrible temptations.I want to do the right thing,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I kept up in prayer all day and I didn't cease.After each prayer,I felt better and much stronger as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and they helped me.Though I am still doing,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey form the unnatural sexual desires connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,did my personal PC work and proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went well and after that,I had lunch at a local kitchen.After lunch,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for the public library to print something and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I left and stopped in on a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and I took it easy.
After eating dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It can be pretty tiresome and monotonous at times.If having BPD isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was again later tempted to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of attaining near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but instead of giving into that entire temptation pattern,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these things.I prayed hard and I pleaded with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist.After praying,I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and after that,I showered to clean up and get ready for the day.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I continuously prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me.I kept it up all day as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I am serious about wanting to heal from SSA and I don't want to continuously fall short as I had done in the last three weeks,where I fell two consecutive times one week,once the second week,and two consecutive times within a twelve hour period the third week.I really want to work hard at fighting hard to resist all of these terrible things and also,to get my mind cleared of all sexual and lustful images of men.I want to think positive thoughts of members of my own gender and also,to look at them in a Christian light,which is as brothers in a spiritual and Christian way and not for any of the selfish intentions and unnatural desires that I have for them.I also want to start thinking of them as the same as I am inside and out,as I am a male and a man and that m body is meant for compatibility with a female,but I also don't want to start thinking lustful thoughts of women either as lust,as a whole,is condemned in the Holy Bible as lust breeds obsession,infatuation and in itself,represents selfishness of the highest degree.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am also continuing to ask that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.Please continue praying for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in the healing process from SSA and the unnatural desires connected with SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be afraid to speak some encouraging words in the comments as I so desperately need some encouragement as well as prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is to meet with some job placement people to become a client and help me find work and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
Today,we had some snowfall that started overnight and lasted all morning.It was pretty light,but the weather was chilly.I simply stayed home and took it easy for a while.The area where I live will be getting some more light snowfall and there will be some chilly temps,so I decided to just stay home and take it easy for the day.
I simply used the day to catch up on some much needed work that I have been putting off.After that was done,I decided to wait until the time so I could go to a church dinner that was being held tonight.When the time came,I headed over there.
The church dinner was wonderful.The food and the fellowship were both wonderful.I got so much out of it.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into my pajamas and relaxed for a while until I was ready for bed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,despite some setbacks,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.The emotional roller coaster ride of BPD can wear me out at times.It does as I never know how I will be mood-wise and/or emotional-wise.They vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle with my psychiatric disorder and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation,lusting and fantasies in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming urge to indulge in these sinful and immoral practices.I tossed and turned,but that only made the erection throb even more violently.All of a sudden,I felt that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften,but it was pretty slow going.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals returned to their typical softened state,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another episode when after finally getting out of bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also lusting after other men and fantasies involved as well where I wound up talking to myself imagining that I was indulging in immoral and sinful sexual activity with other men.Before it went too far,I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning this morning and I really prayed hard.After I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven by God for my sins.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptation to indulge in anything sinful connected with SSA and the unnatural desires that I have that are also connected with SSA.I kept up in prayer and I really prayed hard as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I am learning day after day that the struggle with SSA is a very difficult one at that.It is easier to surrender to the unnatural desires than it is to fight and resist them.Satan and his minions are really working hard to get me to disobey God's perfect law in regards to sexuality,but I am always choosing too fight and make a stand,but Satan and his minions continue to make it tougher and even more difficult by the day.I do keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly and I constantly ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals alongside them.Again,it gets even more difficult by the day and at times,Satan and his minions will try to wear me out.But again, I have God and his son Christ Jesus intervene and I do feel better knowing that they are leading the way.Though I have been doing this,I am also continuing to ask that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these emotional issues.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments that are encouraging are rare as they usually don't leave any.I only ask for these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from SSA and make me even determined to continue in overcoming SSA at the same time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I headed out to drop off some newspapers at a few people's houses.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.Aside from that,I also have to endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my BPD struggle even worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.I do feel a tad better knowing that they are helping me to keep level and get me through everything in the day in regards to this particular struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was also the hardest that I had ever been in a long time.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up out of bed and I headed there and as I did,the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after finally getting up out of bed and while sitting in a chair,I started to manipulate my genitals to the point of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual and lustful images of men were clouding my mind as I was doing this.I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting came at me the entire day.I kept praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me by giving me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they kept coming.The more I put up a resistance,the stronger that the temptations get as they keep coming.It seems that Satan and his minions are not going to give up until I decide to abandon the healing process from SSA,reject the truth about SSA that I already know that Satan and his minions hate that I know and simply go an indulge in all the sinful sexual activity known to man and that the Holy Bible condemns.I am willfully going to continue fighting and I am also going to keep going to God in prayer and asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to continue giving me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to also continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
Tomorrow,I have a dinner at my church's fellowship hall in the evening.As for most of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply decided to head to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my emotions and/or moods will be.They fluctuate by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It can be pretty tiresome and pretty monotonous at times and it does make me wish that I didn't have to go through this particular struggle.It having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.With the schizophrenic tendencies,I also have to put up with hallucinations,such as hearing footsteps,hearing voices calling out my name and when I turn around,there is nothing nor anyone there.At times,I just want to shout out and say something like "Why are you doing this to me whoever you are?!" and/or "Why won't you just show yourself rather than hide from me?!"I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to seek God and his son Jesus Christ and also,to continue relying on them whenever the struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I let the both of them take the lead and they both in keep me sustained.I am never alone in this particular struggle and with them leading the way and making sure that the hallucinations and the mood/emotional fluctuations don't get any worse,it makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and turned,but it only made the erection throb more.At the same time,since I was still in a drowsy state and still in bed,sexual images of men were creeping up into my mind.I simply decided to start sitting up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften as I was walking there.After I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went back to sleep and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up while I was sitting in a chair and I started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.The root cause of this,though I am not saying it justifies this,was that I was still tired and drowsy and hadn't fully awakened,though I had just gotten out of bed.I stopped myself and I immediately prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals at the same time to all of that.I kept up in prayer to God all day and continually asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better and much stronger after praying.Those nasty temptations keep coming at me and I know that it is Satan and his minions that are responsible for them.Though I have been doing that all day,I am again continuing to ask that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to continue praying for me.I really need prayers and I am so desperately in need of other men supporting me in this fight and struggle against SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.I would really appreciate prayers and encouraging words by all of you.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up immediately in a suit and I proceeded to head for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I got a lot out of them.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning every week always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.It having BPD isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that they are there leading the way and showing that I am never alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom and as I headed there,the erection softened and when I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by lusting,fantasizing and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the lusting and fantasizing.Yes,it was to images of men clouding up my mind,but I didn't give into these temptations.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I threw the temptations on God and asked him for strength to fight and resist these temptations in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better after praying.I went through the day without much on my mind,but I also have to keep in mind that though I did escape today,tomorrow is another day.I can never thing of never giving into temptation again.I simply think in terms of one day at a time when it comes to fighting temptations of all sorts that Satan and his minions will try to throw at me.I have to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and keep asking for strength to fight and resist all temptations that come at me.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and to continue in my healing journey out of it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made much plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ