Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I am struggling with BPD,but I also struggle with schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing up with God and Christ what I am struggling with and them not only sustaining me,but also understanding at the same time.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again to me in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my own power to fight and resist this temptation to masturbate the erection away.I simply sat up and began to get out of my bed to walk to the bathroom as I had to use it.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep as the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out in many ways.I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me.I kept up in prayer and kept asking for strength to fight and resist each and every temptation that came at me from all sides.I always felt better after doing all of that as I knew that both God and Christ heard me and helped me.I kept it up all day and really worked hard to resist all types of temptations,with the help of God and Christ,of course.I always have to keep in mind that I can't go through this struggle alone as alone,I am weak and without relying on God and Christ,I would give into all sorts of temptations.I still,at times,get tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.Though I am keeping up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.I am always in need of prayer by everyone who understands what I am going through and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide in this fight against this terrible SSA.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
It snowed overnight where I am living.Before leaving the house to do anything,I had to warm up my car and while that was happening,I had to brush the snow off of my car as it had accumulated pretty much overnight.The weather was also cold,but not chilly or freezing.After my car was fully warmed up and I was finished brushing off the snow,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that was done,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do as a result of the weather.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD and SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply have God and his son Jesus Christ take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It also makes me feel a tad better as well.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt terrible after this happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for failing.I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven,but I seriously have to keep working on myself.I have to start thinking of things that will take my mind off of anything sexual.As of late,sexual thoughts have been entering my mind and I have been trying to shake them,but so far,I am failing to do so.I will just have to keep trying to find new ways that I can substitute those immoral sexual thoughts that have been creeping up into my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual with men anymore.I want to think pure,wholesome holy and clean thoughts of my fellow men.I want and have to start thinking of men as my fellow spiritual brothers and not there for anything else other than that.I again ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayers for me as I am still trying to work through this complex emotional time and period.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Please don't be shy.I get many visitors,but usually,the visitors don't leave me any encouraging words for me as to what I can do and how to stay feeling good about myself despite my repeated failings.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I also again ask that you keep up in prayer for me as both your prayers and encouraging words do help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I don't want to think of anything immoral in the sexual sense anymore.These immoral thoughts are also driving me up the wall.Please help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
It snowed overnight where I am living.Before leaving the house to do anything,I had to warm up my car and while that was happening,I had to brush the snow off of my car as it had accumulated pretty much overnight.The weather was also cold,but not chilly or freezing.After my car was fully warmed up and I was finished brushing off the snow,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that was done,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do as a result of the weather.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD and SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply have God and his son Jesus Christ take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It also makes me feel a tad better as well.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt terrible after this happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for failing.I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven,but I seriously have to keep working on myself.I have to start thinking of things that will take my mind off of anything sexual.As of late,sexual thoughts have been entering my mind and I have been trying to shake them,but so far,I am failing to do so.I will just have to keep trying to find new ways that I can substitute those immoral sexual thoughts that have been creeping up into my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual with men anymore.I want to think pure,wholesome holy and clean thoughts of my fellow men.I want and have to start thinking of men as my fellow spiritual brothers and not there for anything else other than that.I again ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayers for me as I am still trying to work through this complex emotional time and period.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Please don't be shy.I get many visitors,but usually,the visitors don't leave me any encouraging words for me as to what I can do and how to stay feeling good about myself despite my repeated failings.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I also again ask that you keep up in prayer for me as both your prayers and encouraging words do help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I don't want to think of anything immoral in the sexual sense anymore.These immoral thoughts are also driving me up the wall.Please help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group and the group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch.After lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while as I was feeling a little tired.Later on,I watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My emotions and/or moods vary from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with both BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to worry about nor fear as they are leading the way in this particular struggle.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.It didn't last too long as I had to get up and use the bathroom.The erection softened as I was heading for there and after I was done,the erection had died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals and there was also lusting involved,but I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure thing.I felt better afterwards,but I was still in the daily battle over these unnatural desires that I have.As with the last several days as a result of some complex emotional patterns,my mind was being preoccupied with sexual thoughts of men and lusting.I really want to stop thinking about sex and I want to own the unnatural desires that I have and not have them own me.I also don't want to think of sexual things connected with the unnatural desires that I have any more.I am again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complexity.I also ask that none of you be shy and say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group and the group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch.After lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while as I was feeling a little tired.Later on,I watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My emotions and/or moods vary from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with both BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to worry about nor fear as they are leading the way in this particular struggle.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.It didn't last too long as I had to get up and use the bathroom.The erection softened as I was heading for there and after I was done,the erection had died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals and there was also lusting involved,but I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure thing.I felt better afterwards,but I was still in the daily battle over these unnatural desires that I have.As with the last several days as a result of some complex emotional patterns,my mind was being preoccupied with sexual thoughts of men and lusting.I really want to stop thinking about sex and I want to own the unnatural desires that I have and not have them own me.I also don't want to think of sexual things connected with the unnatural desires that I have any more.I am again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complexity.I also ask that none of you be shy and say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and did my personal PC work.I had only a couple of things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the bank top cash a check and after that,I headed over to my sister's house to get my laundry done as I had a lot.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be day after day or minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a never ending battle and struggle.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and also,my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never worry when my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles seemingly get way too overwhelming for me to handle as God and his son Christ Jesus are there leading the way for me and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for everything that they do and provide for me to help get me through the worst of this struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom.I simply went back to sleep once I was finished in the bathroom.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also a little lusting involved with that as well.Before it went too far,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and asked him to help me get my mind off sexual thoughts of men and thinking pure thoughts of men and to help me look at them as spiritual brothers and not as fantasy guys and/or for other selfish reasons.I was really sorry for that and I really don't know what has been coming over me.Lately,sex with men has been creeping up into my mentality repeatedly and I really want to stop thinking of sinful sexual things with other men.I want to think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts of other men and mot the opposite.It has been very overwhelming for me as of late.I again appeal to all of you out there who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that you don't be shy and please an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but usually,nobody ever leaves an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I do get an encouraging word or two once in a while,but I really need them constantly.Please say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and later,I will be having lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and did my personal PC work.I had only a couple of things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the bank top cash a check and after that,I headed over to my sister's house to get my laundry done as I had a lot.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be day after day or minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a never ending battle and struggle.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and also,my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never worry when my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles seemingly get way too overwhelming for me to handle as God and his son Christ Jesus are there leading the way for me and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for everything that they do and provide for me to help get me through the worst of this struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom.I simply went back to sleep once I was finished in the bathroom.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also a little lusting involved with that as well.Before it went too far,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and asked him to help me get my mind off sexual thoughts of men and thinking pure thoughts of men and to help me look at them as spiritual brothers and not as fantasy guys and/or for other selfish reasons.I was really sorry for that and I really don't know what has been coming over me.Lately,sex with men has been creeping up into my mentality repeatedly and I really want to stop thinking of sinful sexual things with other men.I want to think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts of other men and mot the opposite.It has been very overwhelming for me as of late.I again appeal to all of you out there who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that you don't be shy and please an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but usually,nobody ever leaves an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I do get an encouraging word or two once in a while,but I really need them constantly.Please say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and later,I will be having lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I first went to see my therapist and the session went well.After that,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I was hoping to head over to the bank to cash a check,but the time that I arrived at K-Mart,it was too late as the bank was closed.I will just have to do that tomorrow before anything else.After doing that,I stopped at another friends place to see how he was doing.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is very good.It is also great that God and Christ are there to help out when asked.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am again going to be very blunt and honest with all of you who follow and read my blog posts.I have been tempted left and right as of late.I admit that early this morning,I gave into that terrible habit of masturbation and it was to sexual images of men.Lately,sex has been clouding my mind.It has been coming into my mind through many forms.It just won't leave me alone.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men or even members of the opposite gender for that matter.I just want the sexual thoughts to disappear.I don't want to think about them anymore.There are times that this gets so terrible that I feel like throwing in the towel and start seeking other men to indulge in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I have chosen to stand my ground.I am willfully refusing to give Satan,the author of the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender and every immoral sexual activity,any satisfaction.I also refuse to let anyone who inadvertently represents Satan,which are those so called "Gay" activists,mental health professionals who constantly advise those who want to break free from that type of sexual immorality to embrace the identity and go out and live their lives as such and even all of those news media stories reporting constantly of those who choose to live that immoral and sinful sexual lifestyle that they label the so called "Gay" lifestyle getting married to each other,when in reality,God made man and woman and only approves of healthy and happy Heterosexuality as God doesn't acknowledge anything else other than that.I have chosen to stand my ground and tell that wicked and powerful angel who is called Satan that I am not giving him what he wants.I refuse to live that terrible sinful sexual lifestyle,including indulging in all the sinful sexual activity connected with it.This isn't an easy choice,I understand.But it is the choice that I am making and I am telling Satan to go to Hell where he belongs.When I did give into the temptation to that terrible unclean and impure masturbation habit,I humbly asked for God's forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also begged for God's mercy because I have been falling so much lately that I always feel unworthy of his forgiveness,his love and his mercy.I felt better afterwards.Again,I am asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that all of you who follows and read my blog to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say it again,both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me to help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires associated with it.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.I would really appreciate all of that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all that they provide and also,Thank You God for your forgiveness,your mercy and for making me a male.
Tomorrow,I am going to cash that check and get my much needed money and after that,I am going over to my sister's house to do my laundry.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I first went to see my therapist and the session went well.After that,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I was hoping to head over to the bank to cash a check,but the time that I arrived at K-Mart,it was too late as the bank was closed.I will just have to do that tomorrow before anything else.After doing that,I stopped at another friends place to see how he was doing.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is very good.It is also great that God and Christ are there to help out when asked.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am again going to be very blunt and honest with all of you who follow and read my blog posts.I have been tempted left and right as of late.I admit that early this morning,I gave into that terrible habit of masturbation and it was to sexual images of men.Lately,sex has been clouding my mind.It has been coming into my mind through many forms.It just won't leave me alone.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men or even members of the opposite gender for that matter.I just want the sexual thoughts to disappear.I don't want to think about them anymore.There are times that this gets so terrible that I feel like throwing in the towel and start seeking other men to indulge in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I have chosen to stand my ground.I am willfully refusing to give Satan,the author of the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender and every immoral sexual activity,any satisfaction.I also refuse to let anyone who inadvertently represents Satan,which are those so called "Gay" activists,mental health professionals who constantly advise those who want to break free from that type of sexual immorality to embrace the identity and go out and live their lives as such and even all of those news media stories reporting constantly of those who choose to live that immoral and sinful sexual lifestyle that they label the so called "Gay" lifestyle getting married to each other,when in reality,God made man and woman and only approves of healthy and happy Heterosexuality as God doesn't acknowledge anything else other than that.I have chosen to stand my ground and tell that wicked and powerful angel who is called Satan that I am not giving him what he wants.I refuse to live that terrible sinful sexual lifestyle,including indulging in all the sinful sexual activity connected with it.This isn't an easy choice,I understand.But it is the choice that I am making and I am telling Satan to go to Hell where he belongs.When I did give into the temptation to that terrible unclean and impure masturbation habit,I humbly asked for God's forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also begged for God's mercy because I have been falling so much lately that I always feel unworthy of his forgiveness,his love and his mercy.I felt better afterwards.Again,I am asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that all of you who follows and read my blog to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say it again,both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me to help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires associated with it.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.I would really appreciate all of that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all that they provide and also,Thank You God for your forgiveness,your mercy and for making me a male.
Tomorrow,I am going to cash that check and get my much needed money and after that,I am going over to my sister's house to do my laundry.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, January 14, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more shopping.After I was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always a daily struggle for me.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next as the roller coaster ride can go up and down on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to talk about this particular struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours twice when throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I sat up during the first one and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I entered the bathroom to use it.After I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I went through several bouts of temptation throughout the day.I had to really have God and Christ get involved here because I want to keep a clean mind and think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts about my fellow men and not the opposite.I really had to throw every temptation on both God and Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.Throughout the day,I never know what will enter my mind as the idea of indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man can start flooding my mind and try to take over my entire being.But I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful and pray very hard whenever these things happen.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all the help that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more shopping.After I was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always a daily struggle for me.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next as the roller coaster ride can go up and down on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to talk about this particular struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours twice when throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I sat up during the first one and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I entered the bathroom to use it.After I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I went through several bouts of temptation throughout the day.I had to really have God and Christ get involved here because I want to keep a clean mind and think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts about my fellow men and not the opposite.I really had to throw every temptation on both God and Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.Throughout the day,I never know what will enter my mind as the idea of indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man can start flooding my mind and try to take over my entire being.But I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful and pray very hard whenever these things happen.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all the help that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I got out of bed a little later than usual and I had to shower quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had to settle on just one cup of coffee this morning.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Everyone told me how much they missed me and that they were glad to have me back.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on the usual one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to fear as long as God and Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I headed for the bathroom to use it and while walking there,the erection started to soften and when I went back to bed,the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I was tempted throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength to fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I threw them all on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better as a result of that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow my blog and read every post that I write on here and again,I also ask for words of encouragement by all of my followers.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for taking the lead.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I got out of bed a little later than usual and I had to shower quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had to settle on just one cup of coffee this morning.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Everyone told me how much they missed me and that they were glad to have me back.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on the usual one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to fear as long as God and Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I headed for the bathroom to use it and while walking there,the erection started to soften and when I went back to bed,the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I was tempted throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength to fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I threw them all on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better as a result of that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow my blog and read every post that I write on here and again,I also ask for words of encouragement by all of my followers.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for taking the lead.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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