Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
It snowed overnight where I am living.Before leaving the house to do anything,I had to warm up my car and while that was happening,I had to brush the snow off of my car as it had accumulated pretty much overnight.The weather was also cold,but not chilly or freezing.After my car was fully warmed up and I was finished brushing off the snow,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that was done,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do as a result of the weather.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD and SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply have God and his son Jesus Christ take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It also makes me feel a tad better as well.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt terrible after this happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for failing.I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven,but I seriously have to keep working on myself.I have to start thinking of things that will take my mind off of anything sexual.As of late,sexual thoughts have been entering my mind and I have been trying to shake them,but so far,I am failing to do so.I will just have to keep trying to find new ways that I can substitute those immoral sexual thoughts that have been creeping up into my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual with men anymore.I want to think pure,wholesome holy and clean thoughts of my fellow men.I want and have to start thinking of men as my fellow spiritual brothers and not there for anything else other than that.I again ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayers for me as I am still trying to work through this complex emotional time and period.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Please don't be shy.I get many visitors,but usually,the visitors don't leave me any encouraging words for me as to what I can do and how to stay feeling good about myself despite my repeated failings.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I also again ask that you keep up in prayer for me as both your prayers and encouraging words do help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I don't want to think of anything immoral in the sexual sense anymore.These immoral thoughts are also driving me up the wall.Please help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ