Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and did my personal PC work.I had only a couple of things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the bank top cash a check and after that,I headed over to my sister's house to get my laundry done as I had a lot.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be day after day or minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a never ending battle and struggle.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and also,my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never worry when my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles seemingly get way too overwhelming for me to handle as God and his son Christ Jesus are there leading the way for me and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for everything that they do and provide for me to help get me through the worst of this struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom.I simply went back to sleep once I was finished in the bathroom.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also a little lusting involved with that as well.Before it went too far,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and asked him to help me get my mind off sexual thoughts of men and thinking pure thoughts of men and to help me look at them as spiritual brothers and not as fantasy guys and/or for other selfish reasons.I was really sorry for that and I really don't know what has been coming over me.Lately,sex with men has been creeping up into my mentality repeatedly and I really want to stop thinking of sinful sexual things with other men.I want to think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts of other men and mot the opposite.It has been very overwhelming for me as of late.I again appeal to all of you out there who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that you don't be shy and please an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but usually,nobody ever leaves an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I do get an encouraging word or two once in a while,but I really need them constantly.Please say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and later,I will be having lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ