Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
I didn't have too much on my agenda for today.I did get out for a bit.I first went over to my sister's house to pick up a bag of empty bottles and after that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I managed to score a CD of Christian music.After paying for it,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in the bottles and after getting the money from them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I did some more personal PC work,including registering all the money that I got from turning the bottles in at the local supermarket.
After eating,I decided to watch an education video online on YouTube and after that was finished,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I really had no problems with SSA.Today,I had no sexual images of men cloud my mind and that was a relief for me.I went through the day and nothing negative happened.I really don't know why this didn't happen today,but I am grateful that I didn't have any troubles.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is just that I have to keep in mind that Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.They are out there and they can tempt anyone to go against the sovereign Lord and creator and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there waiting to get anyone who worships the the sovereign Lord and creator of all things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave some positive verbal support.I need both types of support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and my motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished with breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to the job placement agency to put my signature on a few more applications that they filled out on my behalf.After that was done,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my bed clothes and proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I once again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and lusting after them and I wound up ejaculating.I felt really miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for falling into sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I know that I have said this before,but I really need to get really tough on myself.I have to stop this constant habit of continuing to fall into the same old sin and asking for forgiveness.I feel that I am abusing the divine gift of forgiveness every time I continuously give into the same old sin.I need to work on changing my mental pattern whenever this particular thing comes around.I need to learn how to say to myself "STOP!" and "NO!" whenever these particular urges come around.I am struggling everyday with this terrible SSA condition and it seems to get worse instead of better for me.I don't want to go back to that terribly sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle as it isn't what my Heavenly Father intended.He also never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it at this moment.I need to keep those things continually in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support right now alongside the prayerful support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and everyday.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.The verbal support,in itself,reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished with breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to the job placement agency to put my signature on a few more applications that they filled out on my behalf.After that was done,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my bed clothes and proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I once again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and lusting after them and I wound up ejaculating.I felt really miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for falling into sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I know that I have said this before,but I really need to get really tough on myself.I have to stop this constant habit of continuing to fall into the same old sin and asking for forgiveness.I feel that I am abusing the divine gift of forgiveness every time I continuously give into the same old sin.I need to work on changing my mental pattern whenever this particular thing comes around.I need to learn how to say to myself "STOP!" and "NO!" whenever these particular urges come around.I am struggling everyday with this terrible SSA condition and it seems to get worse instead of better for me.I don't want to go back to that terribly sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle as it isn't what my Heavenly Father intended.He also never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it at this moment.I need to keep those things continually in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support right now alongside the prayerful support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and everyday.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.The verbal support,in itself,reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I headed out to run a couple of errands.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some orange juice and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and other things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought in their proper places and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and when that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had really no problems with temptation today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind today as I went through the day without anything negative coming across.I only did a few things today while out in the community and this did help in keeping my mind focused on what I had to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I'm worried about tomorrow,it is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I have to stand on guard and be watchful as they can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Please continue praying for me as well.Both of these types of support help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I headed out to run a couple of errands.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some orange juice and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and other things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought in their proper places and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and when that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had really no problems with temptation today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind today as I went through the day without anything negative coming across.I only did a few things today while out in the community and this did help in keeping my mind focused on what I had to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I'm worried about tomorrow,it is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I have to stand on guard and be watchful as they can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Please continue praying for me as well.Both of these types of support help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing was that I went to see a movie at a locally owned movie theater and I really enjoyed it.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly registered a whole bunch of dollar bills at the Where's George site and when I was finished doing that,I headed for the drug store to pick up two prescriptions and after paying the co-pay on them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I fixed me a light dinner and after eating that,I decided to do some more personal PC work and later on in the evening,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,for the second consecutive time,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images,where I wound up ejaculating.This really made me feel terrible.I really felt that I failed my Heavenly Father after this second consecutive fall.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for forgiveness and to show me mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really felt terrible after this second consecutive fall into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without problems.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real bad and desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and I would also appreciate your continued prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing was that I went to see a movie at a locally owned movie theater and I really enjoyed it.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly registered a whole bunch of dollar bills at the Where's George site and when I was finished doing that,I headed for the drug store to pick up two prescriptions and after paying the co-pay on them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I fixed me a light dinner and after eating that,I decided to do some more personal PC work and later on in the evening,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,for the second consecutive time,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images,where I wound up ejaculating.This really made me feel terrible.I really felt that I failed my Heavenly Father after this second consecutive fall.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for forgiveness and to show me mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really felt terrible after this second consecutive fall into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without problems.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real bad and desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and I would also appreciate your continued prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, April 21, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly before getting dressed and having my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of errands to run today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans that my niece gave me yesterday and I went straight home to register the bills.I left the house again to get a little bit of gas with the money that I had gotten from turning in the cans.I headed back to the same local supermarket to see if they had what I was looking for.When they didn't,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up what I was looking for since I saw that they had it there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while as I was waiting for my evening meal to get done.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals while fantasizing and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and this time,the experience ended in ejaculation.I really felt very miserable after this current fall into sin and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask to be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.In my prayer,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins.I prayed real hard and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning this day after day.I get tempted to act out day in and day out.Most of the time,I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,there are times that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation because I still have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to see a movie in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly before getting dressed and having my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of errands to run today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans that my niece gave me yesterday and I went straight home to register the bills.I left the house again to get a little bit of gas with the money that I had gotten from turning in the cans.I headed back to the same local supermarket to see if they had what I was looking for.When they didn't,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up what I was looking for since I saw that they had it there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while as I was waiting for my evening meal to get done.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals while fantasizing and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and this time,the experience ended in ejaculation.I really felt very miserable after this current fall into sin and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask to be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.In my prayer,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins.I prayed real hard and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning this day after day.I get tempted to act out day in and day out.Most of the time,I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,there are times that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation because I still have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to see a movie in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and got dressed up in a suit.I headed out the door for church for the Easter breakfast and the worship service afterwards.
The whole Easter Sunday morning in church was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers after the worship service ended,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes and I headed to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner at my niece's house was great.After that,I headed over to the birthday party that I was invited to,but when I got there,the person who was throwing it had to head out to her daughter's place.She gave me a piece of cake to go and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cake piece in the refrigerator and I did my personal PC work and it was a lot to do.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did a little bit of reading and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Although it is the most difficult of the two for me,I had no problems today with it.I had no temptations to act out by fantasies or lusting and no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I simply kept busy with what I had to do today and it was great.I kept busy by pursuing my spirituality on this,the most important Sunday of the year by going to church and having a share in everything connected with it.I also had some fun at my niece's house and though I didn't stay very long,I had a good time simply visiting with someone that I hadn't seen in a long time.I must say that staying busy took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need y'all to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and got dressed up in a suit.I headed out the door for church for the Easter breakfast and the worship service afterwards.
The whole Easter Sunday morning in church was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers after the worship service ended,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes and I headed to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner at my niece's house was great.After that,I headed over to the birthday party that I was invited to,but when I got there,the person who was throwing it had to head out to her daughter's place.She gave me a piece of cake to go and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cake piece in the refrigerator and I did my personal PC work and it was a lot to do.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did a little bit of reading and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Although it is the most difficult of the two for me,I had no problems today with it.I had no temptations to act out by fantasies or lusting and no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I simply kept busy with what I had to do today and it was great.I kept busy by pursuing my spirituality on this,the most important Sunday of the year by going to church and having a share in everything connected with it.I also had some fun at my niece's house and though I didn't stay very long,I had a good time simply visiting with someone that I hadn't seen in a long time.I must say that staying busy took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need y'all to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)