Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ