Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.I also proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do.I simply ran a small errand that needed to be run and after that was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.It also makes me feel a tad better as a result.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of it and the erection started to soften as I did that.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitalia while these temptations were coming at me from all sides.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations tried to get the better of me.I asked God to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations as they coming at me and I felt better each time after doing so.I felt stronger and I also felt that God was there listening to me and that he really wanted to help me.I am also again asking for prayers and encouraging words by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.I get many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue in prayer for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with the SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending church for the Easter breakfast in the church's fellowship hall and the worship service following that.I am also going to my nephew's house for dinner.When that is all done,I am just going to go home and take it easy and watch a movie or two.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply hung out at home for most of the day.I used this opportunity to catch up on some much needed stuff that had to get done.
After my personal PC work was done,I folded up all of my laundry and put everything in their proper places.I also cleaned up around the house here and there and I relaxed for much of the day.I also had a light lunch after the laundry was all folded.I also managed to watch a DVD or two in between all of this.
After eating a light dinner,I got dressed up and headed for church for the Good Friday service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The Good Friday service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my pajamas on and I relaxed for a while before turning in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is a constant tiresome ride as my moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw anything on God and ask him for help in enduring this in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle with this psychiatric disability that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection throbbed even more.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom and the erection started to soften as I was heading for there.After I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation,which was genital manipulation to lustful and sexual images of men after I had fully gotten up and sat down for a while before showering.I was still tired and drowsy and that was what made the images of men cloud my mind and make me give into this temptation and yes,I was near erect and I almost reached orgasm,but managed to stop myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were truly forgotten by God and Christ.I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by these same aforementioned things and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations kept coming at me.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations and I always felt better after praying.It showed me that God heard me and he was helping me.Though I have been doing this,I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely,if ever,leave any comments.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of Easter church activities,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply hung out at home for most of the day.I used this opportunity to catch up on some much needed stuff that had to get done.
After my personal PC work was done,I folded up all of my laundry and put everything in their proper places.I also cleaned up around the house here and there and I relaxed for much of the day.I also had a light lunch after the laundry was all folded.I also managed to watch a DVD or two in between all of this.
After eating a light dinner,I got dressed up and headed for church for the Good Friday service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The Good Friday service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my pajamas on and I relaxed for a while before turning in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is a constant tiresome ride as my moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw anything on God and ask him for help in enduring this in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle with this psychiatric disability that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection throbbed even more.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom and the erection started to soften as I was heading for there.After I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation,which was genital manipulation to lustful and sexual images of men after I had fully gotten up and sat down for a while before showering.I was still tired and drowsy and that was what made the images of men cloud my mind and make me give into this temptation and yes,I was near erect and I almost reached orgasm,but managed to stop myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were truly forgotten by God and Christ.I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by these same aforementioned things and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations kept coming at me.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations and I always felt better after praying.It showed me that God heard me and he was helping me.Though I have been doing this,I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely,if ever,leave any comments.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of Easter church activities,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work.After that,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and the theme was the death of Christ and his subsequent resurrection.
The group went well.After it was over,I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and after calling my sister,I headed over to her house to pick up something and after leaving her house,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment.After that,I stopped at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and picked up a few things.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans and after collecting the money from that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work.I also managed to register the bills that I received after turning in the bottles.
After eating a light dinner,I dressed up and I headed for church for the Maundy Thursday Holy Communion worship service and it was a wonderful service.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into my pajamas and relaxed until it was time for me to go to bed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It struggling with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing voices and other things that others can't hear,but can only be heard be me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone when it comes to this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation for a second consecutive time within a twelve hour period when I again manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and yes,there was lusting and fantasies involved and this time,I wound up ejaculating.I felt really terrible after falling this time.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I really begged for his mercy as this was the second consecutive time.I did feel better after that.I tried to keep busy all day by just going along with the day.I was tempted again and this time,I really prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they were coming at me from all sides.I kept up praying as I didn't want to sin again.It isn't an easy struggle this SSA,but I am not giving up.I am going to continue praying to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus as I don't want to sin again.I am also still getting tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than go out and feed that temptation.While I have been praying,I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and please,don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of the Good Friday evening church service,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work.After that,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and the theme was the death of Christ and his subsequent resurrection.
The group went well.After it was over,I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and after calling my sister,I headed over to her house to pick up something and after leaving her house,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment.After that,I stopped at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and picked up a few things.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans and after collecting the money from that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work.I also managed to register the bills that I received after turning in the bottles.
After eating a light dinner,I dressed up and I headed for church for the Maundy Thursday Holy Communion worship service and it was a wonderful service.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into my pajamas and relaxed until it was time for me to go to bed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It struggling with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing voices and other things that others can't hear,but can only be heard be me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone when it comes to this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation for a second consecutive time within a twelve hour period when I again manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and yes,there was lusting and fantasies involved and this time,I wound up ejaculating.I felt really terrible after falling this time.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I really begged for his mercy as this was the second consecutive time.I did feel better after that.I tried to keep busy all day by just going along with the day.I was tempted again and this time,I really prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they were coming at me from all sides.I kept up praying as I didn't want to sin again.It isn't an easy struggle this SSA,but I am not giving up.I am going to continue praying to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus as I don't want to sin again.I am also still getting tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than go out and feed that temptation.While I have been praying,I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and please,don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of the Good Friday evening church service,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded with the rest of my day as I had only one thing on my agenda for today.
After everything that I had to do was done at home,I headed out to a local supermarket and I turned in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the money at the Where's George site and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have a very unpredictable mood and/or emotional pattern.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day/minute/moment or down the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals with sexual images of men clouding my mind and when I reached orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way and ejaculated.I felt really crushed as a result of this particular fall and after washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better after that as I truly believed that God had forgiven me for that.I was still facing temptation throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I kept up in prayer all day and when I did,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I did feel much stronger after praying and I did feel that God heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I post here almost every day.I am also again asking for encouraging words by all of you as well.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have only a couple of things planned.I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and church in the evening.As for in between those two things,I haven't got nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded with the rest of my day as I had only one thing on my agenda for today.
After everything that I had to do was done at home,I headed out to a local supermarket and I turned in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the money at the Where's George site and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have a very unpredictable mood and/or emotional pattern.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day/minute/moment or down the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals with sexual images of men clouding my mind and when I reached orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way and ejaculated.I felt really crushed as a result of this particular fall and after washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better after that as I truly believed that God had forgiven me for that.I was still facing temptation throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I kept up in prayer all day and when I did,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I did feel much stronger after praying and I did feel that God heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I post here almost every day.I am also again asking for encouraging words by all of you as well.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have only a couple of things planned.I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and church in the evening.As for in between those two things,I haven't got nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and after that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had to go to the local hospital to see the nurse practitioner there to get a follow-up on my blood work that was done yesterday and the tests came back good.There is really nothing wrong with me and everything is in good working order.I did tell her about some urinary problems that I have been having lately and she asked for even more depth in my blood work tests and she said that she should have the results in a few days.Since my blood work came back good,I am thinking that I may have a problem with my prostate gland or maybe it is simply an overactive bladder.After getting my prescriptions,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I stopped at the drug store to drop off my prescriptions and I asked for them to get a prescription filled for Vitamin D immediately as though the nurse practitioner said that my blood work tests came back good,I still have a deficiency of Vitamin D in my system.They told me that this should be ready by tomorrow.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and finished my personal PC work.Before that,I made an appointment with my general medical doctor and I will be seeing them on the 1st of April.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone when it comes to this particular struggle and that is great as with them leading the way,I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection,though it was slow going,died down and when it was fully erect,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to engage in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the sexual images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of this and I felt better after praying to ask God for that.I also felt stronger and I knew that he was there and he heard me.I kept up in prayer all day and I felt better after doing so.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I really could use them now.I am also asking for an encouraging word or two from all of you.I get many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely do they leave a comment or two.Please leave me an encouraging word or two as your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and after that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had to go to the local hospital to see the nurse practitioner there to get a follow-up on my blood work that was done yesterday and the tests came back good.There is really nothing wrong with me and everything is in good working order.I did tell her about some urinary problems that I have been having lately and she asked for even more depth in my blood work tests and she said that she should have the results in a few days.Since my blood work came back good,I am thinking that I may have a problem with my prostate gland or maybe it is simply an overactive bladder.After getting my prescriptions,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I stopped at the drug store to drop off my prescriptions and I asked for them to get a prescription filled for Vitamin D immediately as though the nurse practitioner said that my blood work tests came back good,I still have a deficiency of Vitamin D in my system.They told me that this should be ready by tomorrow.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and finished my personal PC work.Before that,I made an appointment with my general medical doctor and I will be seeing them on the 1st of April.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone when it comes to this particular struggle and that is great as with them leading the way,I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection,though it was slow going,died down and when it was fully erect,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to engage in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the sexual images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of this and I felt better after praying to ask God for that.I also felt stronger and I knew that he was there and he heard me.I kept up in prayer all day and I felt better after doing so.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I really could use them now.I am also asking for an encouraging word or two from all of you.I get many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely do they leave a comment or two.Please leave me an encouraging word or two as your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, March 25, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I got dressed to go to the local hospital to get some much needed blood work done.
The time went by pretty fast and it only took about a couple of minutes to get it done.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately jumped into the shower and cleaned up.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day.I simply put a DVD into the DVD player and watched it while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With then both leading the way,I have nothing to worry about when any way too overwhelming things happening.I also feel a tad better as a result.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I sat up for a while and as I was sitting up,the erection started to soften and when I proceeded to get out of bed,it only softened it more.When my genitals were returned to full softness,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and also to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping with these sexual images on my mind.I had to pray really hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.I kept it up all day as I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in these sinful practices.I always felt better and stronger after praying and that was great.The urge(s)to indulge in anything sinful connected with SSA can be overwhelming.The more resistance that I put up,the more stronger the urge(s)become each and every time.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular urge comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I also keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA will never give me what I truly need and also want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also continuing to ask that all of you who continue to follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave an encouraging comment for me.It could be in the form of upbuilding me with any scriptures from the Holy Bible or to encourage me to keep fight and praying.I ask these things,which I feel are not too much in and of themselves,because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I got dressed to go to the local hospital to get some much needed blood work done.
The time went by pretty fast and it only took about a couple of minutes to get it done.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately jumped into the shower and cleaned up.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day.I simply put a DVD into the DVD player and watched it while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With then both leading the way,I have nothing to worry about when any way too overwhelming things happening.I also feel a tad better as a result.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I sat up for a while and as I was sitting up,the erection started to soften and when I proceeded to get out of bed,it only softened it more.When my genitals were returned to full softness,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and also to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping with these sexual images on my mind.I had to pray really hard to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.I kept it up all day as I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in these sinful practices.I always felt better and stronger after praying and that was great.The urge(s)to indulge in anything sinful connected with SSA can be overwhelming.The more resistance that I put up,the more stronger the urge(s)become each and every time.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular urge comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I also keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA will never give me what I truly need and also want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also continuing to ask that all of you who continue to follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave an encouraging comment for me.It could be in the form of upbuilding me with any scriptures from the Holy Bible or to encourage me to keep fight and praying.I ask these things,which I feel are not too much in and of themselves,because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with everyone after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my regular casual clothes.I immediately did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday mornings always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary day after day,or at other times,minute/moment after minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that make my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,which didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and the erection started to soften as I did.I also proceeded to get up to walk and the erection continued to soften.When it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the temptations were really overwhelming.I was tempted to lust after other men and fantasize with the images that were creeping up into my mind,alongside the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer to God all day and I asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations and I felt better and stronger after I did.I am going to work on making this a habit as I don't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation come around as I continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA will never give me what I truly want and also need,which are affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking again that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me and also,to please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I only ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue to work on overcoming SSA and also,to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is to get some much needed blood work done over at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with everyone after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my regular casual clothes.I immediately did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday mornings always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary day after day,or at other times,minute/moment after minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that make my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,which didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and the erection started to soften as I did.I also proceeded to get up to walk and the erection continued to soften.When it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the temptations were really overwhelming.I was tempted to lust after other men and fantasize with the images that were creeping up into my mind,alongside the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer to God all day and I asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations and I felt better and stronger after I did.I am going to work on making this a habit as I don't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation come around as I continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA will never give me what I truly want and also need,which are affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking again that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me and also,to please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I only ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue to work on overcoming SSA and also,to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is to get some much needed blood work done over at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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