Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply hung out at home for most of the day.I used this opportunity to catch up on some much needed stuff that had to get done.
After my personal PC work was done,I folded up all of my laundry and put everything in their proper places.I also cleaned up around the house here and there and I relaxed for much of the day.I also had a light lunch after the laundry was all folded.I also managed to watch a DVD or two in between all of this.
After eating a light dinner,I got dressed up and headed for church for the Good Friday service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The Good Friday service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my pajamas on and I relaxed for a while before turning in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is a constant tiresome ride as my moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw anything on God and ask him for help in enduring this in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle with this psychiatric disability that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection throbbed even more.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom and the erection started to soften as I was heading for there.After I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation,which was genital manipulation to lustful and sexual images of men after I had fully gotten up and sat down for a while before showering.I was still tired and drowsy and that was what made the images of men cloud my mind and make me give into this temptation and yes,I was near erect and I almost reached orgasm,but managed to stop myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were truly forgotten by God and Christ.I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by these same aforementioned things and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations kept coming at me.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations and I always felt better after praying.It showed me that God heard me and he was helping me.Though I have been doing this,I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely,if ever,leave any comments.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of Easter church activities,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ