Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something my mom needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I popped a DVD in the DVD player and relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues to go forward and though it isn't as rocky as it was before,I still have to endure and put up with the symptoms of BPD and the struggle with that is never an easy one.Though I am not on the emotional roller coaster as much as I was before,I still have to put up with the up and down emotions that I endure on a daily basis.It is never an easy thing to struggle or deal with.Aside from that,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.But I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through this difficulty and to help me through it all.As stated,the struggle with BPD and having schizophrenic tendencies alongside that is never easy,but with God and his son Jesus Christ helping me through it,it does make it a little easier.I am now more confident that with their help,I can get through anything.As the Holy Bible states "With God,all things are possible".
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I had to really fight this temptation as it was an overwhelming one.I got through it without falling and simply got up to use the bathroom as I had to use it.After finishing in the bathroom,I went back to sleep.I also almost gave into temptation by attempting to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting erect or near erect while bathing for the purpose of masturbation,but managed to stop myself before going any further.Though I escaped these two episodes,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to sin can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Each and every time that I resist any temptation,the temptation comes back stronger than before and can really be overwhelming.But as I said above,I simply continue to rely on God through his son Jesus Christ to get me through by going to them in prayer and putting everything in their hands.After that,I feel better as if a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.I now have nothing to worry about or fear as God and his son Jesus Christ are in control and having to rely on them rather than my own strength gives me a wonderful feeling that can't be matched by anything sinful,such as indulging in sexual activity with another man.It is terrific that when you put everything in the hands of God and his son Jesus Christ,the feeling is always wonderful and everything is alright.Thanks go to God and Jesus Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I will be attending church as usual,including the Holy Bible study class before the worship service.I am also hoping to get around to doing my laundry as well as it is piling up.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had only a few things planned and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to pay my car insurance and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to purchase a money order and sent it out to a place that was awaiting a payment on merchandise that they are holding for me.After that was done,I had a small lunch and after eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues onward and I am feeling pretty good.I am still leaning on God and his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the stress and helping me to handle the symptoms of BPD.It isn't easy dealing and struggling with the symptoms of this,but with God and Jesus Christ,it is only a little easier,but still difficult.I am simply not feeling the ups and downs of this as much as I used to feel.I am also still putting up and struggling with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have as well and though it does make the BPD struggle more difficult,I simply continue leaning on God through his son Jesus Christ and it makes the recovery process only a fraction easier than without them.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I will also still continue to take my medication as directed.I am hoping that this process will stay the way that it has been for quite a while.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I had to really fight this overwhelming temptation.I simply started to sit up and when I did,the erection softened and I had to use the bathroom anyway.After finishing in the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I do have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I simply have to keep relying on God through Jesus Christ to get me through any temptations that may occur.I have to keep reminding myself that with their help,I no longer have anything to worry about as they will both strengthen me and get me through the temptation as I throw everything on God and ask in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength and to get me through all sorts of temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I know that whenever I resist the temptation to sin,the temptation will get stronger and even when that happens,it does my heart good knowing that God is there and he,with his son Jesus Christ in tow,will always get me through any temptation or any urge to sin.Thanks God and Jesus.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I chose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I finished lunch,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that was done,I dropped the money off at home and headed back out to get my hair cut.
The hair cut place wasn't very busy today,so I got in rather quickly.After my hair was cut,I paid it and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues and I am feeling much better than I have been.I still struggle with the symptoms of BPD and though it isn't an easy struggle,I am managing pretty well.I also still struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,but again,I am managing pretty well.Since I started to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ more,I am feeling better and I can simply share with them how I am feeling and what to do to solve any problems that I may have.Despite the good feelings from repeated prayers,I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I hope that these good feelings continue for a long time to come.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another morning erection.I simply started to get up and when I did,the erection died down.When it did,I simply went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.But now,I simply rely on God through Jesus Christ whenever temptation does indeed come around.I just turn to them in prayer and I feel much better as the temptation is relieved by a conversation with my creator in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I don't feel much of any sort of temptation to act out by seeking out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them or to watch porn.It is a wonderful feeling.I now rely on God through his son Jesus Christ now instead of my own strength and if I do fall,I simply ask to be forgiven and the slate is wiped clean.Thanks God and Christ Jesus.
As for tomorrow,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans out there.
Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I did have a couple of things planned.
I first went to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills that I had made over the phone.I wanted to make sure that these were in the house first before I set out to do the next thing on my agenda.
After dropping of the prescriptions,I headed over to someone's house in the area to attend a 4th of July feast there.I was invited to this a month ahead of time and I headed over there to join in on the festivities there.I headed over there and relaxed when I arrived there.
The feast was a wonderful one at that.I had a really good time.After it was over,I headed straight as I didn't want to leave the party the minute that my medication was going to kick in as I didn't want to risk getting pulled over by the local police.
When I got home,I simply got ready to go to bed.Before going to sleep,I simply popped in a DVD to watch until I got really sleepy.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues unabated and so far,the road hasn't been as rocky as it was before.Ever since I started prayers to God through his son Jesus Christ,my recovery hasn't been as difficult as it was before.I am not saying that dealing with BPD is no longer a struggle,but God has made it at least a little bit more bearable.It is still difficult,but with God and his help,all things a little bit easier.I still also struggle with schizophrenic tendencies alongside the symptoms of BPD,but again,the struggle isn't as difficult with God and his Jesus Christ leading the way and making me feel a little stronger by relying on them rather than on my own strength.I am not feeling the up and down roller coaster ride that I was on prior to starting the prayers all over again.It is wonderful to now rely on God and Jesus Christ more than going it alone and relying on my own strength.It is wonderful and I will be relying on God through his son Jesus Christ more to have this positive experience continue.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation twice when I was awakened by erections in the wee early morning hours.The urge to masturbate,with me,is always the strongest whenever I have an erection.Both of these temptations were really overwhelming and I really felt the urge to give into the temptations.But instead,I chose to fight them.With the first occurrence,I simply got up and went to the bathroom as I had to use it.After finishing in the bathroom,I simply went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had a headache and I went to the medicine cupboard to take something for the headache.As I walked there,the erection softened and after finishing taking the medication for my headache,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptations to act out can rear their ugly heads when least expected.Yes,I still get tempted,but I no longer have to tough it out all by myself.With God through Jesus Christ handling the situation,I no longer feel that I always have to go it alone.If I do get tempted to act out in any way,shape or form throughout the day,I simply turn to God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me and everything is okay after the prayer.I simply throw everything on him and he helps me by getting me through the temptation and also,he helps me to keep my head clean of anything immoral that would trigger the temptation to act out.It is wonderful that I can now rely on God and not on myself only as relying on my own strength will only lead me to further failings and falls,but God in Heaven through his son Jesus Christ will get me through anything when I turn to them and ask for strength.It is wonderful that I am not alone as they are at the wheel now.Thanks God and Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I will also have lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to the bank to withdraw some money for myself and for my mom.After that was done,I headed for home to register all the money that I had before leaving the house again to do some much needed business that I had to tend to.I first headed over to the post office to mail out an important thing that needed to be mailed.After that was done,I headed over to the local Sears to pay on a bill that had to be paid.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My road to recovery continues onward and though it isn't an easy road that I am on,I am still hanging in there and remaining hopeful.I do struggle with BPD and it's symptoms and though it isn't easy to deal with this type of thing,I know that I can always lean on God whenever the struggle seems to be unbearable.Since starting again to rely on God more,I haven't really felt the ups and downs typical of somebody who struggles with BPD.I simply turn to him in prayer whenever it seems unbearable.I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that does make the BPD struggle more difficult,but again,whenever it seems that it may go beyond control,I simply turn to God and put it in his hands.I ask for God to intervene in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel much better.Yes,I do.In the meantime,I am still going to continue my therapy sessions and I am going to continue taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will continue feeling better by simply relying on God through Jesus Christ for strength,guidance and also,a way out whenever it seems to be unbearable.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I got yet another double whammy when I was awakened at two separate intervals in the wee early morning by erections.I was tempted to engage in masturbation as a result of these erections.I had to really fight these urges and they were really overwhelming urges as well.Fortunately,on both occasions,I had to use the bathroom and the erections both died down while on the way there.I simply went back to sleep afterwards,but after the second occurrence,I had a really terrible headache and I took something to get rid of it before going back to sleep.Though I did escape these two episodes,I have to still keep in mind that the temptation to act out,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.This time,as I stated above,I now rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever I am faced with the urge to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I simply throw it all on God and ask him in Jesus Christ's name to get me through the temptation and to strengthen me to fight and resist the temptation.It isn't easy struggling with SSA,but I now have two allies in Heaven and they are God and his son Jesus Christ.With them for allies,I can now fight all urges and be strengthened when they come.The struggle doesn't seem as unbearable anymore once I have them to rely on whenever any sort of temptations come.
Tomorrow,since it is the 4th of July,I will be hanging out with a few friends at one of my friends houses and I am hoping that it will go great.I will call to check up on my mom from time to time during the day to see how she is.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to a self esteem group and I was looking forward to that with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there after finishing with getting dressed.
The meeting went well.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I headed back out again to do a little bit of shopping.My mom wanted me to pick up a few things at a local supermarket.I left and went there and managed to find what I was looking for.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.In between,I managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
My recovery continues onward,but now,I am no longer feeling the ups and downs of BPD,at least,for now.I have been continually leaning on God more and casting the temptations onto him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.So far,I have felt much better and I no longer feel the urge to give into temptation.Still,I know that it will happen every once in a while and I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful because temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am still enduring and putting up with the symptoms of BPD and also,I am still putting up with and enduring the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.I will just have to take them one day at a time.I am going to continue with my therapy sessions and I am going to continue to take my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will feel good for a long time to come as long as I keep relying on God through Jesus Christ more rather than on my own strength.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again was tempted to masturbate twice at two separate intervals of the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections during those intervals.These temptations were really overwhelming and I really had to fight them.Fortunately,I got through them.The first time,I simply got up and went to the bathroom as I had to go and use it.After finishing in the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second time,I simply started to get up and attempted to walk a little,but the erection died down after I got up.I again went back to sleep.Though I did escape these episodes and I didn't give in,I still have to keep in mind,as I stated above,that the temptations to act out,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I also have to continue to keep in mind that God is there to help and all I need to do is ask him for it constantly.I have been doing that and so far,things have been pretty good.I have to also keep in mind that I own my sexuality and not have my sexuality own me.Masturbation is simply a practice where a person's sexuality owns them and they are enslaved by their own sexuality instead of them owning their own sexuality.I have to keep on leaning on God through his son Jesus Christ for some self control.I just have to keep it up and I know that I will be strong.Thanks God and Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's worship service and the Holy Bible study class before the service.I am always looking forward to church every Sunday since I started going back in September of last year.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as always.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants.I had a quick lunch and after eating that,I did my personal PC work and despite a minor difficulty with the Yahoo service,I managed to get it all done.After that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes because I had to do some shopping for myself.I headed over to the local K-Mart to do that.After that was done,I headed back home.
When I got home,I put everything away and relaxed.I also watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to do some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church always makes the day eventful.
My recovery continues unabated and since I started to really communicate with God,I have been feeling better.I haven't really been on any continuous emotional roller coaster rides as of late.Still,I do have to put up and struggle with BPD no matter what as that could change any day or any minute.I also still have schizophrenic tendencies and that is probably why I have had those repeated impure thoughts and/or temptations happening constantly.Again,I have been leaning more on God now and it has been improving little by little.I realized the hard way that I was relying more on my own strength and less or nil on God and that is why I kept failing.Now,with me relying on God more,I have been feeling pretty good and still hanging in there.I still get tempted,but it doesn't overwhelm me like it has in the past several months.I have now learned that those who rely on God through his son Jesus Christ more will get results and will feel stronger than those who rely on their own strength.I am glad that I had that talk with the Christian counselor as that was not only a much needed wake up call,but also a much needed slap in the face.Thanks to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I did get yet another wee early morning hour erection and yes,it did wake me out of a deep sleep.Yes,I was also tempted to masturbate that erection away,but I stayed strong and fought to resist that temptation.I simply got up to use the bathroom and while walking there,the erection died down and after using the bathroom,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I know that temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It always seems to come back stronger each and every time that it hits.The more resistance,the more stronger the temptation will be.Still,all I also need to do is to simply rely on God and his his son Jesus Christ for strength.I will feel much stronger the more that I rely on them.I will never rely strictly on my own strength as those who do will always fail and fall.Those who rely on God and his son Jesus Christ will not only feel stronger, but will gain more strength each and every time that any temptations or burdens are upon anyone.Again,I am making it my resolution to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ for strength and will continue to throw my burdens and/or temptations on him and let God handle them through his son Jesus Christ.Again,I will always be grateful to that Christian counselor for pointing out to me that only God can make anyone stronger and not anyone themselves personally.Again,Thank God through his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have an improving self esteem group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ