Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to a self esteem group and I was looking forward to that with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there after finishing with getting dressed.
The meeting went well.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I headed back out again to do a little bit of shopping.My mom wanted me to pick up a few things at a local supermarket.I left and went there and managed to find what I was looking for.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.In between,I managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
My recovery continues onward,but now,I am no longer feeling the ups and downs of BPD,at least,for now.I have been continually leaning on God more and casting the temptations onto him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.So far,I have felt much better and I no longer feel the urge to give into temptation.Still,I know that it will happen every once in a while and I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful because temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am still enduring and putting up with the symptoms of BPD and also,I am still putting up with and enduring the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.I will just have to take them one day at a time.I am going to continue with my therapy sessions and I am going to continue to take my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will feel good for a long time to come as long as I keep relying on God through Jesus Christ more rather than on my own strength.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again was tempted to masturbate twice at two separate intervals of the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections during those intervals.These temptations were really overwhelming and I really had to fight them.Fortunately,I got through them.The first time,I simply got up and went to the bathroom as I had to go and use it.After finishing in the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second time,I simply started to get up and attempted to walk a little,but the erection died down after I got up.I again went back to sleep.Though I did escape these episodes and I didn't give in,I still have to keep in mind,as I stated above,that the temptations to act out,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I also have to continue to keep in mind that God is there to help and all I need to do is ask him for it constantly.I have been doing that and so far,things have been pretty good.I have to also keep in mind that I own my sexuality and not have my sexuality own me.Masturbation is simply a practice where a person's sexuality owns them and they are enslaved by their own sexuality instead of them owning their own sexuality.I have to keep on leaning on God through his son Jesus Christ for some self control.I just have to keep it up and I know that I will be strong.Thanks God and Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ