Happy 4th of July to all my fellow Americans out there.
Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I did have a couple of things planned.
I first went to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills that I had made over the phone.I wanted to make sure that these were in the house first before I set out to do the next thing on my agenda.
After dropping of the prescriptions,I headed over to someone's house in the area to attend a 4th of July feast there.I was invited to this a month ahead of time and I headed over there to join in on the festivities there.I headed over there and relaxed when I arrived there.
The feast was a wonderful one at that.I had a really good time.After it was over,I headed straight as I didn't want to leave the party the minute that my medication was going to kick in as I didn't want to risk getting pulled over by the local police.
When I got home,I simply got ready to go to bed.Before going to sleep,I simply popped in a DVD to watch until I got really sleepy.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues unabated and so far,the road hasn't been as rocky as it was before.Ever since I started prayers to God through his son Jesus Christ,my recovery hasn't been as difficult as it was before.I am not saying that dealing with BPD is no longer a struggle,but God has made it at least a little bit more bearable.It is still difficult,but with God and his help,all things a little bit easier.I still also struggle with schizophrenic tendencies alongside the symptoms of BPD,but again,the struggle isn't as difficult with God and his Jesus Christ leading the way and making me feel a little stronger by relying on them rather than on my own strength.I am not feeling the up and down roller coaster ride that I was on prior to starting the prayers all over again.It is wonderful to now rely on God and Jesus Christ more than going it alone and relying on my own strength.It is wonderful and I will be relying on God through his son Jesus Christ more to have this positive experience continue.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation twice when I was awakened by erections in the wee early morning hours.The urge to masturbate,with me,is always the strongest whenever I have an erection.Both of these temptations were really overwhelming and I really felt the urge to give into the temptations.But instead,I chose to fight them.With the first occurrence,I simply got up and went to the bathroom as I had to use it.After finishing in the bathroom,I simply went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had a headache and I went to the medicine cupboard to take something for the headache.As I walked there,the erection softened and after finishing taking the medication for my headache,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptations to act out can rear their ugly heads when least expected.Yes,I still get tempted,but I no longer have to tough it out all by myself.With God through Jesus Christ handling the situation,I no longer feel that I always have to go it alone.If I do get tempted to act out in any way,shape or form throughout the day,I simply turn to God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me and everything is okay after the prayer.I simply throw everything on him and he helps me by getting me through the temptation and also,he helps me to keep my head clean of anything immoral that would trigger the temptation to act out.It is wonderful that I can now rely on God and not on myself only as relying on my own strength will only lead me to further failings and falls,but God in Heaven through his son Jesus Christ will get me through anything when I turn to them and ask for strength.It is wonderful that I am not alone as they are at the wheel now.Thanks God and Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I will also have lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ