Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving on.I had a pretty good,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my now usual 3 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local restaurant to have a sandwich as a late lunch.After that,I headed over to a local gas station to get a little bit of gas.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store and did some shopping there as well as a nearby local supermarket.After that was done,I decided to head straight home.
When I wanted to go home,I tried to start my car,but it wouldn't turn over.I tried every which way,but nothing.I called my niece and she and her live in boyfriend came over to help and tried every sort of thing to try and get my car running.I called my brother in-law and he suggested that we jump it and when we did,it started.After that,I headed over to a nearby Advanced Auto Parts to have it checked out.The verdict was that I needed a new battery and I went home to get the cash and I went and picked it up.After it was installed,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving on,I am still in a constant daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the struggle.My moods and/or emotions change from day to day or at times from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and I turned,but that only made it throb even more.I sat up and started to walk and as I walked,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still getting tempted throughout the day.I had temptations to grab my genitals and play with them while lusting after other men.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for the strength to fight and resist the temptations as they came around.I hate it when temptation tries to envelope me and get me to sin against God.It is bad enough that I struggle with this terrible SSA,but to get tempted to act out in ways other than going out to seek a male partner to indulge in sinful sexual activity with can really make the struggle difficult.If I were to get that latter aforementioned temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home because I don't want to sin against God by indulging in that type of thing.It is wonderful that God gives strength to those who ask for it when it comes to fighting and resisting the temptations that come around.I am also going to again ask that prayers be said for me from those who continually follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask for some positive encouraging words by all of you as well.I see that my blog gets many visitors,but usually nobody leaves any encouraging words or anything positive for me to be upbuilded and to keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA.I would please appreciate a positive comment or two to keep me going and to keep me more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for leaving a positive comment or two in the comments section and for your continuous prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had much better today than the one I had yesterday.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and this time,I had three cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to my appointment with my therapist and was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting went pretty good and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a much better day than the one I had yesterday.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never really know how my moods and/or emotions are going to be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel much better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It looks like that these terrible temptations are not going to leave me alone anytime soon.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as I didn't want to fail again as I had the last three consecutive days.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down again until the erection had softened and when it did,I laid back down.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.This time,in order to show how serious that I am about healing and really wanting to overcome SSA,I threw every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.After each prayer,I felt better.Still,I have to be on guard as the temptations will keep coming back again and again.Last night,I really poured out my heart and soul to God in prayer in his son Christ Jesus' name and I know that he heard me and accepted me in my prayer.I humbly begged for his mercy and I also told him about the problem that I had in being accused of being mentally ill all because of my faith in him and that I pray constantly to him.I also told him about when I defended his law regarding marriage and sexuality on another forum and how they attacked on both sides as a result.The prayer took about 15 minutes,but I really felt better after that.The stress of the day was relieved and I felt renewed. I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly.While I will still continue to do that,I am also again asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me as I really desperately need it.I also ask for an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need some positive encouragement.It is just that my blog gets numerous visitors,but most of the time,none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me.Please blog visitors,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against these terrible SSA desires and the temptations associated with them.Again,don't just visit,please leave and encouraging word or two for me,even if it is an upbuilding using the Holy Bible,which is better than leaving nothing.Thanks in advance for all your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty stressful day today.
Today,I overslept and when I finally woke up and got out of bed,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which went great and after that was over,I headed over to the local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home,but that is when the stressful part of the day had begun.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to try and pay my phone bill,but they told me that they only take cash or personal checks and nothing else.I headed over to another local supermarket,but they gave me almost the same thing as the last one did.I even went to my insurance agent's office to pay on my car insurance,but they told me that I had to pay an almost $8.00 fee to use a credit card to pay.I headed over to the post office to get a money order to pay the insurance and when I got that done,I headed back to the post office to get another money order to send out the phone bill payment.After that was finally done,I headed over to a friend's place to pay him money that I owed him and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and finally got around to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to watch a little TV.Before I did any of that,I called the phone company to let them know that they payment,though a little late,was on the way to them and that I sent it out via three day Priority Mail.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty stressful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my emotions and/or moods will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,this time,I am going to be very blunt and honest with all of you.I have fallen three consecutive times this week to the terrible temptations associated with SSA.Why have I fallen?My emotions have been in a tailspin as a result of some negative things that people have said.They have said that there is no such thing as God or Jesus Christ and also,that I am mentally ill for believing in God and praying to him constantly.They also said that the Holy Bible was nothing more than a mere book of fairy tales written by men and is not relevant and that anyone who believes in the Holy Bible is irrelevant.This really put me in a tizzy.I fell three consecutive times to masturbation over the past three days.There were also lustful thoughts accompanying these falls as well.I kept asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the failings and to show me his mercy in forgiving me as I was really sorry for falling those three consecutive times.I really poured my heart and soul out to him and though I did feel better,I still need to work on getting over this emotional tailspin that I am in and also,the stressful day that I had today also didn't help much as lustful thoughts continued to creep into my mind.I really feel bad and really need some prayerful support from everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.I am also in need of positive encouragement in the comments section.I am going to continue asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and again,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I am really in desperate need of both of these things.I will also continue praying.Thanks in advance to all of those who follow my blog for all of their prayers and encouragement.I will also continue to pray and I still thank God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my therapist.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day,though I didn't have too much planned.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I had forgotten yesterday.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on a daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complex thing this emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God and having him and his son Christ Jesus help keep me at a level where I can better manage the symptoms.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though this time,it didn't last very long.I simply sat up for only a few minutes and the erection softened.I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was still getting tempted throughout the day as temptations really started coming at me.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept up asking for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I get tempted to act out in many ways and I keep throwing every temptation on both God and his son Jesus Christ and I continually ask for strength to help me fight and resist every temptation.While I have been doing that,I am again continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog.I also ask for encouraging words in the comments section.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight against these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to everyone for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday Spirituality group and lunch later in at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have much planned for today.I simply used the day to pay a couple of bills that needed to be paid.After paying those bills,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more grocery shopping and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket across the street to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those things,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I proceeded to fold all of my clean laundry and put everything in their proper places.I also listened to a little bit of Christian/Gospel music while doing all of that.After I was done,I also said a little prayer to God and I felt better.After that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in a constant struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions change from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry as they are always there to help.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation as it was really strong.It was so bad that I had to go to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus in prayer to help get me through the temptation.I kept talking about it with God in the name of son Jesus Christ until the erection fully softened.I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and genital manipulation,but I kept throwing everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also asked for strength to fight and resist the temptations as they kept coming at me.I always felt better and I was glad.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow my blog to keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going.So,please keep up your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help get me through the never ending cycles of temptation.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my building and improving self esteem group,which went better than I expected it to go.After that,I decided to head over to a friend's place to see how they were doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important letter.After that was done,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my constant daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.The complex emotional patterns that anyone who struggles with this type of thing is very difficult to deal with or handle.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.While that is so,I am still continuing to rely more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength in fighting and resisting this terrible urge.The more I keep resisting,the more stronger the temptations become and this urge was no exception.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until my genitals fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and again,these temptations keep getting stronger with every resistance that I make.I threw every temptation on God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to help me fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I felt better after that as the temptations were always reduced to nil.Temptation always hounds me throughout the day,but I keep throwing them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel better as God gives me the strength to fight and resist all temptation when I ask him for it.I am also again asking for prayers and words of encouragement by everyone who follows and reads my blog.It is just that I get many visitors,but almost nobody leaves me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section and also,keep up in prayers for me as I am going through these unwelcome temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still on my constant struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.It is always very difficult to deal with and also struggle with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes me BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.Each and every time that I resist any temptations,they always keep coming back stronger and stronger.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and went back to sleep when my genitals had softened.Thought I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day as they really kept coming at me.I threw every temptation on God and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist every temptation.I asked for that in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time that I did,I always felt better as the temptations were all reduced to nil.I kept it up constantly and I felt better each time.I am also still asking for prayers and for positive words of encouragement in the comments section on this blog of mine.Please leave and encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ