Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had much better today than the one I had yesterday.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and this time,I had three cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to my appointment with my therapist and was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting went pretty good and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a much better day than the one I had yesterday.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never really know how my moods and/or emotions are going to be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel much better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It looks like that these terrible temptations are not going to leave me alone anytime soon.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as I didn't want to fail again as I had the last three consecutive days.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down again until the erection had softened and when it did,I laid back down.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.This time,in order to show how serious that I am about healing and really wanting to overcome SSA,I threw every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.After each prayer,I felt better.Still,I have to be on guard as the temptations will keep coming back again and again.Last night,I really poured out my heart and soul to God in prayer in his son Christ Jesus' name and I know that he heard me and accepted me in my prayer.I humbly begged for his mercy and I also told him about the problem that I had in being accused of being mentally ill all because of my faith in him and that I pray constantly to him.I also told him about when I defended his law regarding marriage and sexuality on another forum and how they attacked on both sides as a result.The prayer took about 15 minutes,but I really felt better after that.The stress of the day was relieved and I felt renewed. I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly.While I will still continue to do that,I am also again asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me as I really desperately need it.I also ask for an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need some positive encouragement.It is just that my blog gets numerous visitors,but most of the time,none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me.Please blog visitors,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against these terrible SSA desires and the temptations associated with them.Again,don't just visit,please leave and encouraging word or two for me,even if it is an upbuilding using the Holy Bible,which is better than leaving nothing.Thanks in advance for all your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ