Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while popping in a DVD and I watched it.
I ate light tonight because I went to church for the evening's New Year's Eve service and the service was wonderful.They also have a special New Year's Day service tomorrow that I also will be attending.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this struggle as God and Christ both understand what I am going through and they both assist me whenever I need it.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for being there and for all that they provide to help me out.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after I had done this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me when I did.It really brought me down as I really don't know what is constantly making me fall so much.I am thinking that it could be that it is the holiday season and as a result of my mother not being here with my family for the first time,I am really going through some very complex emotional patterns as a result.I am just hoping that I can get through the rest of the day and through tomorrow,the official end of the holiday season,without any more failings.I still kept up in prayer to God today and kept asking him for strength in the name of his son Christ Jesus to help me resist every temptation that came at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time right now and I am also asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,my blog gets a lot of visitors,but nobody ever leaves anything in the comments section.Please pray and also,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's New Year's Day church service and I am thinking of relaxing for the rest of the day and watching a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the first day of the new year ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I changed into my home suit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier for me as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,including looking at online porn, and to indulge in masturbation at the same time.I threw every temptation that I had on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked him for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I felt better afterwards.Though I have fallen several times as this year was starting to wind down,I am grateful that God forgives every fall and helps gives strength when asked in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Both of them are a wonderful help in this struggle against the terrible SSA.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,to please an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that I get many visitors,but hardly any words of encouragement are left in the comments section.I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle,and even more determined to continue in my journey out of this terrible SSA,and also to heal from all the hurts that caused me to have SSA and struggle with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.Today,the weather snowing and a minor wind was blowing.I had to really be careful driving as I went to Wal-Mart to bring something back that wasn't needed.After getting a refund,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I still never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and put it in their hands and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle or any struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable and ashamed of myself for giving into this temptation.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and asked that God showed his mercy on me as I prayed and I felt better after praying.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength whenever the temptations came back around.I prayed hard and kept up asking for strength throughout the rest of the day and tried to keep my mind clear of everything immoral and degrading,though this isn't a very easy thing in itself either.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the blog posts that I write.I am also asking for words of encouragement in the comments section by everyone as well.My blog gets many visitors,but rarely,encouraging comments are left.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me on my blog in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please keep up in prayers for me as well.It is because both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do,too.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately as I had a few things planned and I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to do some necessary stuff.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I put my home suit on and relaxed.I also watched a DVD while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies,alongside the BPD and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows me that I don't have to go through this struggle alone and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight this overwhelming urge.I sat up in bed and wouldn't lay back down until the erection softened,which it did after several minutes.I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed and sitting up in a chair,which was manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I felt really bad after doing that and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure thing,which is actually a habit of mine that I would like to give up.There are times when I do that particular thing and it leads to ejaculation.I really would like to stop manipulating my genitals as I know that this is an unclean and impure habit.If anyone out there has had this problem and has succeeded in stopping,please share what has helped you in stopping this habit and what has also worked for you.I am open to anything that can and will help.I would really appreciate some answers and advice.Please share what has worked for you and how it worked.I am also continuing to ask for prayers and for some helpful encouraging words in the comments section from those who follow and read my blog posts.It is just that I get many visitors,but they don't leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please do so as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined to continue in my journey out of SSA and become the man that God intended me to be.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed,alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I was hoping to go to my Thursday spirituality group,but to unforeseen circumstances beyond my control,such as heavy snow and being snowed in my driveway,I couldn't go to the group and I even called them to let them know of my situation.After that,I did much of my personal PC work and got dressed to do what I had to do.
There was a big mountain of snow at the end of my driveway and I went out to shovel all of that and I knew that it would take me several hours to do.I bundled up in warm clothing and headed outside to do my shoveling.
I was just starting to shovel,but fortunately,my across the street's neighbor's brother in-law was driving his plow and he offered to plow the driveway for me at no cost to me.I let him and he cleared everything within a matter of minutes.After he was done,I thanked him and started to shovel the sidewalk right next to my house and after that was done,I warmed up my car and proceeded to get the snow and ice off that was covering it.It took a bit of doing,but I managed to get the vast majority of it off.I also had to shovel a big hill of snow in the back of my car so I would be able to back-up out of the driveway to go places.After I was finished cleaning off my car,I went in and started to drive off,but I had a really difficult time backing up.I had to really fight the elements as I was trying to get out.I got stuck a few times,but I persisted and persevered and finally,I got out and I headed over to the bank to deposit some money and I did a little shopping at the nearby Dollar Tree store.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and went back out to do some more shoveling.I shoveled the sidewalk in front of the house and I also did the sidewalk in front of my next door neighbor's house and the sidewalk leading right up to her house and I even shoveled her steps.After that was done,I went back into the house.
When I got in the house,I fixed a light lunch and I finished my personal PC work.I also went over to my sister's house to pick up something that she had for me.After that,I headed back home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got back home,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In my neck of the woods,Winter is back.We had a snow storm overnight and it gave us a very thick,but wet,blanket of snow.We are supposed to get really cold tonight and some freezing drizzle,which I hope won't be that bad.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complex struggle that I am going through and it never gets and easier.I also continue to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at an even keel.It shows that I don't have to go through this struggle alone and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating in the wee early morning hours.I had a throbbing erection and I gave into the urge to masturbate and while I did that,sexual images of men clouded up my mind.I asked God to forgive me for sinning and I asked for that forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as a result.I even Thanked God for sending me that person in the snow plow to help me out and eased my stressful work load in shoveling all of that snow.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as I went through the day as temptations kept coming at me left and right.I kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of his Christ Jesus and I felt better.I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I didn't want to sin against God anymore today.I have to admit that there are times that I want to throw in the towel and fulfill all those lustful and sinful sexual cravings for men,but I have willfully chosen not to do that.I choose to continue fighting these terrible unnatural desires that I have and keep throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus.I stay in the fight and continually tell the enemy,Satan,the devil,that I am not throwing in the towel.I may fall short at times,but I am staying my ground and sticking to my guns(so to speak)by continuing on this journey out of this terrible SSA.I am also again asking for prayers by those who continually follow my blog and read the posts that I write on here and also,I again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.I also will keep praying myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed with my usual 2 cups of coffee that I drank during my morning meal.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing planned for today.I went over to my sister's house to do my laundry and it was a lot to get done.It took quite a while and when it was finally finished,I bagged everything and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put off folding everything up and decided to go to my room and fix my bed.After doing that,I relaxed and popped a DVD in to watch it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how I will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It's bed enough having BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside that and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to endure this struggle alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was a really overwhelming urge.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was really starting to envelope me.I tried tossing and turning,but the erection kept throbbing.I sat up and decided to get out of bed and walked.While I walked,the erection started to soften and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out with fantasies and masturbation throughout the day.I kept up in prayer to God and asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist every temptation and I felt better.I kept it up throughout the day as I didn't want to sin against God and try to stay within his good graces.It is a very difficult thing to resist when one struggles with the terrible condition known as SSA.It is easier to give into the unnatural desires connected with SSA than it is to resist them.I simply kept up in prayer all day to God and I felt better after that.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that when you visit the blog,I would really like an encouraging word or two from you.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and they both give me strength.It is just that my blog gets visitors,but the visitors don't leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I would really love some encouraging words and some loving advice in the comments section.As I said,both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please say something that is encouraging to me and will help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,if the weather isn't too bad,as my region will be under a "Winter Storm Warning" starting at 4:00pm today and will end tomorrow at 1:00pm,I am hoping to attend my spirituality group and have lunch at a local kitchen.If the weather is really rough,I will simply go home and stay there and watch a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day holiday today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed over to church for the morning's Christmas service,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The service was terrific.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed while listening to some Christmas music and after that,I headed over to my sister's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful.After some nice talk with a few of my family members,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a holiday themed DVD into the DVD player.I did watch a few more holiday themed DVD's before the day was through and also,listened to some more Christmas music.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's subsequent emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with as my moods and/or emotions very on a day to day basis,or at times,from a minute/moment to minute/moment basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down and back asleep until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and masturbating during the time that I was alone after all the holiday things were over with.But during the time that I was at my sister's house,I wasn't tempted to do anything of that sort and that was good.I enjoyed myself and that was good.It is just that when I am alone,I do get the cravings to act out by fantasies,masturbating to them or for emotional reasons and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I get tempted to do all of these things throughout the day and believe me,it is never an easy thing to fight or struggle with.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and again,I ask that you all put encouraging words or two in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but they usually don't leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please continue in prayer for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks to all of you in advance for all of your positive words of encouragement and prayers.Thanks also to to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,my personal PC work followed and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things planned.I first had to sign some important papers at the place where the groups are held and after that,I headed for a local restaurant to pick up a sandwich and after eating it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a couple of holiday themed DVD's.
I ate dinner early as a result of the planned Christmas Eve candlelight church service,which I attended.
The service was a wonderful delight.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my PJ's and relaxed while watching a couple more holiday themed DVD's.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD daily and still enduring that constant emotional roller coaster ride associated with it.It is never easy and it varies from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to struggle alone and that is pretty good.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for about a couple of minutes and waited for the erection to soften and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still on a daily battle with these terrible SSA desires and they are really a difficult thing to fight against.I get tempted to manipulate my genitals for teh purpose of getting them near/fully erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,a climax does happen and it makes me sorry that I did that.When that happens,I do ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I do feel better after that.But still,I am going to really need all the prayerful support from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your positive words of encouragement and prayers help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined to continue fighting and also to continue to try and overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's Christmas church service and having dinner at my sister's house later on in the day.After that,I am just going to go home and take it easy and watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.
That was my day today and my plans for the holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed and my usual 2 cups of coffee alongside that.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.The children put on a Christmas pageant depicting the story of the arrival of Jesus Christ and it was a wonderful performance that they gave.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.It is a very confusing sort of thing that I am always going through.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and after it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have were coming at me from both sides and I was fighting each and every one as it was coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God and kept asking him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me strength to fight and resist each of these terrible temptations.I always felt better after that.I am also still asking for prayers by those who continually follow my blog and read the posts.I am also asking for some words of encouragement to be placed in the comments section at the same time.Please pray for me and please give me some encouragement as them both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group and later on,I will be attending the evening's Christmas Eve church service.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned for today.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some things as I had a gift card to use there from the place where the groups that I go to meet.It was great to have some additional money to do some much needed shopping.After shopping at that particular supermarket,I went to another one to pick up a few more things and after paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.Admittedly,it was a little tricky driving today as a result of a small snow fall that happened overnight.The weather was cold and the roads were a little slippery.But I managed to get everything that needed to get done accomplished.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
I was hoping to spend the entire rest of the evening at home,but I got called to babysit at my niece's house while she and her live in boyfriend went out for a while to visit with some people that they knew.I really didn't like this,but what can I do.I couldn't as well as can't be selfish and say no.I agreed and spent some time over there and babysat at the same time.I am just hoping that tomorrow my day will be uninterrupted by anything as I want to relax and take it easy tomorrow for the whole day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring it to both God and his son Jesus Christ in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last very long.When I started to sit up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and went to sleep when it was fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation in the morning when I was still tired and sitting in a chair by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping.I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that latter temptation and I did feel better.I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts here and I am still asking that an encouraging word or two be posted in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that many people visit my blog,but leave nothing in comments for me to be encouraged.Again,your encouraging words are desperately needed by me and also,your prayers as both of them help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome SSA.I will also keep praying.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to the gastro doctor's office to see the results of my esophagus check-up.
The doctor informed me that there were no problems.I didn't have any ulcers or anything else.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the group site to pick up a gift card that they were holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I headed out again as I had an appointment with my case worker.
The meeting with my case worker went well.After a quick lunch at a nearby Burger King,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I picked up a bill that I forgot earlier and I headed over to the post office to mail it out with a money order.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.After the movie was over,I finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,I am feeling better than I did yesterday.Though I am still aching a little,it isn't as bad as it was yesterday.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I also have nothing to fear.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation again in the wee early morning hours by masturbating.This complex emotional pattern is really starting to take it's toll on me.This is another fall and after it happened,I really felt miserable.I prayed to God to ask him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better.As stated,the complex emotional pattern that I am going through right now is really putting me into a tailspin.This is the first holiday season without my mom being here and also,the stress of me being sick yesterday and all other sorts of things contributed even more negativisms to the current emotional state that I am in at this moment.I am hoping that I will get over this complex emotional pattern soon as I really don't want to act out by masturbating or even by lusting anymore as I am really starting to get sick and tired of this entire SSA struggle.But I am not throwing in the towel.That is what Satan and his minions want.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continually follows and reads my blog posts and I am again appealing top all of you for some kind words of encouragement in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors,but nobody posts anything of encouragement to me at all.I would really appreciate some kind words of encouragement and please keep up the prayers.I will also keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues on.I had a pretty miserable day today.
Today,I woke up in pain.My head was hurting and my right leg and my foot was also hurting.I called to let the people know that I wouldn't be coming into group as a result of feeling aches and pains and that I just wasn't feeling well.After calling them,I showered and after the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I closed off the internet and I laid down on the sofa for a while hoping that my headache and my other aches and pains would go away.I was really feeling miserable and in pain.
I only did one thing today.I went to a local store to pick something up.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I tried to pass the time away by watching a movie,but it didn't really do too much to cheer me up.
I had only a light meal today as I really wasn't in the mood to have anything heavy.After I was finished eating,I watched a little TV,but still,it did little to cheer me up.Overall,a pretty miserable day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in despite the misery.
As a result of me not feeling well enough today,I have chosen to hold off on talking about my BPD and SSA struggles until tomorrow,if I am feeling better.I do have only one thing on my agenda tomorrow and that is to go to the doctor's office to get the results of my esophagus check-up.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having myself a quick lunch at home,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came over me again in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This one was a real throbber and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and I turned and also sat up when it didn't work and as I sat up,the erection softened and after it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ because the urges kept coming back.They were really attacking me on both sides and I really had to pour my soul out to God and his son Jesus Christ and I felt better each time.I kept it up all day and I the feelings were still the same.I am also again asking that everyone out there who follows and reads my blog posts to keep up in prayer to me and I am also again asking for positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and my usual lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today,I simply went to a local Dollar Tree store and I picked up something for lunch.After paying for the item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate lunch and after that,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with on a daily basis.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about nor dread when both God and Christ are there to get me through.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,a double whammy hit me late last night and in the wee early morning hours today when I gave into temptation last night by masturbating and when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened as I didn't want to give in again like I did late last night.When I did give in late last night,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and also pleaded to God for his mercy as this was yet another fall of mine as a result of lustful images of men creeping into my mentality.I am really going through a very complex emotional pattern right now as a result of this being the holiday season and that it is the first without my mom being around.I am now seeing that Satan is using this complex emotional pattern to really try to make it difficult for me to continue in my fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires that are related to the SSA condition.It is bad enough that I am going through this terrible SSA thing,but the complex emotions that are really starting to pile up mentally on me is just too much for me to handle right now.Since my mom died in September of this year,I am really starting to feel the loneliness of not having her around and also,I am still feeling her absence and it is really getting to me.I know that these things will heal in time and that it will take a while for me to really adjust to this.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow and read my blog as I really desperately need them.I am also again asking that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as my blog does attract visitors,but nobody leaves a word or two of encouragement for me.Both prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and also,they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I decided to get dressed and proceed with the rest of the day.
I first mailed out a whole bunch of Christmas cards today and since I was running late,I headed over to the group place,but when I arrived there,they told me that the group was canceled as a result of a function that was going on.As a result of this inconvenience,including not being told ahead of time about such things,such as a group cancellation,I headed for home a little disappointed.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to deposit a refund check that I just received.After that,I went to the gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty quiet day and I did manage to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still struggling with the daily struggles of having BPD and still continuing to deal with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really don't know if I am coming or going here.I again gave into temptation today by masturbating and yes,there was lusting involved with this as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I really asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this particular fall and asked for God's mercy at the same time.I have been falling pretty much lately.This year,the holiday season is bringing me mixed emotions.This is actually the first holiday season without my mom and a lot of complex emotional patterns are really taking their toll on me.As stated,I really don't know if I am coming or going and it is really bringing me down.Though I did feel better and know that I was forgiven for this fall,I have to keep in mind that Satan is going to use these complex emotions as his weapon to get me to sin seriously.I have to continue to work on staying strong and keeping aware of Satan's motives.I am just going to have to start praying really hard and really and seriously ask God for the strength to get me through the complex emotions that I am experiencing as a result of my mom's absence during this holiday season.I am still missing her and I am still wishing that she were still here rather than deceased.I am going to have to really work hard and keep praying.I don't want to sin,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,nearly oversleeping,and showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home.I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I firs had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was invited to a birthday party for a long time friend of mine and after I got dressed when my personal PC work was done,I headed over to his place to pick him up and take him to where the party was being held.
The party was wonderful.After it was over,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home myself.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church makes the day eventful and the birthday party was swell indeed.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was once again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep once it did.Fortunately for me,I was around some company as a result of the birthday party and that was wonderful as since I was around others,I wasn't tempted to act out by other means aside from seeking out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I didn't get any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping or even to masturbate.While it didn't happen for much of the day,I am still asking that all of you who repeatedly follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and to also write an encouraging word or two in the comments section on my blog as both your prayers and comments help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some things that I needed for the house and after paying for them,I headed straight home as I really didn't have too much to do.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving on,I am still on my usual daily battle and struggle with BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes withe the territory.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment and I never know how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it also means that I don't have to go it alone.It is wonderful that God and Christ help sustain anyone who struggles with any type of disorder.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up as I had to use the bathroom and while I was on my way there,the erection started softening and when I got to the bathroom,the erection fully died down and I simply went back to bed after using the bathroom.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and the temptations can be very overwhelming at times.I threw every temptation on God and asked him in the name of Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.I kept it up throughout the day and I felt better each time.While I have been doing that,I am still continuing to ask that everyone who follows and reads this blog of mine to continue praying for me as I am going through this complex emotional period.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class before the service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to see my case worker and that meeting went as well as planned.After that,I went to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I was about to relax and watch a DVD when the phone rang.It was my sister and she told me that my niece wasn't feeling well and was checking into the emergency ward at the local hospital.I had to pick up my niece's kids from school,drop them off at home and babysit them until my niece's live-in boyfriend came home from work.When he did,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and started to prepare dinner.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or at times by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply put the struggle in God's hands and ask him to get me through this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is a simply a matter of talking to God to prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ and feeling a little bit better as they take the wheel and lead the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up for about 5 minutes and when the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept up asking for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I kept it up all day as I was tempted throughout the day to act out by masturbating or by grabbing my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer and I felt better each time.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow this blog of mine and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am still trying to overcome this complex emotional period that I am still going through.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your positive encouragement and prayers both help keep me going and even more determined to continue in my journey out of this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and that went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have my lunch and after eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little something that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.After that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better.I was still tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides and I really had to pray hard to God in his son Jesus Christ's name to get me through the temptations and also to continue giving me strength to fight and resist the temptations.I felt better each time,but I have to keep doing this as temptation will never leave me alone.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow this blog of mine and read the posts to continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to those who follow and read my blog posts for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an early appointment with my case manager.Aside from that,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose too do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a very eventful and stressful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,since I was getting my esophagus checked out.I couldn't eat anything and I could only take my morning medication for my blood pressure and my allergy.After that,I got dressed real quickly and when my locally living sister arrived,we headed for the local hospital.
When we got there,I registered and headed for the area where the doctor was going to check my esophagus.I really waited quite a long time for them to get to me and when they did,I was put under and I woke up over an hour later.
Fortunately,I had no ulcers and that was good.But my doctor will give me even more details when I see them next week.After it all done,my sister dropped me off at home and I heeded the advice of not to leave the house the rest of the day for anything,which I didn't.I decided to stay home and I will do what I have to do tomorrow.
When I got into the house,I had my usual quick,but late,breakfast and I finally had my coffee.After eating breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,an eventful and stressful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading down as well.
As a result of the stressful day that I had at the hospital and since I am still not feeling well as a result of all the testing and all the sedating medication that they gave,I am not going to talk about my struggles with mental illness or SSA today.To my fellow followers who read my blog,I will still continue to ask that you all continue praying for me as I am going through all of this rough stuff and also please leave and encouraging word or two in the comments section as both of those things help keep me going in my fight against this terrible SSA and the terrible temptations that go with that particular territory.I also will keep praying.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda.
I only did a couple of important things.I first went to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my usual daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions change and vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I never know how they will be and it can be very draining.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing these struggles to God and asking for help in keeping me clam and serene.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up and while I was sitting up,the erection softened and I laid back down and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day and I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations as they kept coming at me.After each prayer,I did feel better.I kept it up throughout the day as I am still working on recovering from the emotional tailspin of the previous week.I am also continuing to ask all of you followers and readers of my blog to keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a lot of negative stuff.I am also asking that you all leave an encouraging word or two for me on my blog in the comments section as both your prayers and your positive encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but usually,nobody leaves an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word in the comments section as I would really appreciate that and again,keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to go to the local hospital to get my esophagus checked out.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I went to my usual building and improving self esteem group today and I did get quite a bit out of it.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.This is one of my daily struggles aside from my struggles with SSA.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating an erection away.The emotional tailspin that happened to me last week is still upon me.After I gave into that particular temptation,I really felt miserable as it was yet another falling caused by negative emotions that I endured last week from the persecution to the stressful days on Thursday and Saturday.I really prayed hard to God and asked him for his mercy and forgiveness for falling and I asked all of that in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I did feel better.After that,I moved on and kept up in prayer to God and his son Christ Jesus all day.On the advice of a minister that I communicate with via e-mail,I read Romans Chapter 7 and it showed that Paul humbly talked about his struggles with sin and that he wants to do what is right,but his sinful nature keeps him from doing that.The minister told me to take great comfort in the words of the Apostle Paul to the Christians who were living in Rome.It did show me that even though that like Paul,I also want to do what is right,but my sinful nature also prevents me from doing that.Not that I am enslaved to sin,which I am not,but it does show that we all give in to temptations at times and we will sin as we are all still imperfect and will fall short from time to time.When we do,God will be there to forgive us as he understands that we are imperfect as a result of Adam and Eve's sin and he won't bear a grudge as a result of our inherent imperfection.Paul also shows that God is there to forgive and he will always forgive anyone who confesses their sins to him as again,he knows that we are imperfect.That,in itself,is very comforting to know.I again continue that all of you continue in prayer for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both you prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I did my personal PC work and had a light lunch afterwards.After lunch,I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next or at times from one minute/moment to the next.It is a never ending thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night for the fourth consecutive time this week when I masturbated an erection away.I immediately prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked that he forgive me for giving into the temptation and I felt better after that.I went right back to sleep afterwards.Throughout the day,I was getting tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations that kept coming at me.I have really been tormented by temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and at times,the temptation can try to bring me down.I just kept throwing them on God and asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations.Temptations can be very terrible and I don't want to give into them at all,but I have been giving into them and I know that I have been forgiven for them as I can feel God put his hand on my shoulder when I ask to be forgiven.I am also again asking for prayers by those who follow my blog.Please continue to pray for me and also,I again ask that all of you who follow and read my blog or pay my blog a visit that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments sections.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors,but they usually don't leave me any encouraging words in the comments.Alongside prayers,positive words of encouragement also keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and keeps me even more determined to continue my goals in overcoming SSA and the unnatural desires connected with it.Again,please continue in prayers for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my building and improving self esteem group.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving on.I had a pretty good,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my now usual 3 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local restaurant to have a sandwich as a late lunch.After that,I headed over to a local gas station to get a little bit of gas.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store and did some shopping there as well as a nearby local supermarket.After that was done,I decided to head straight home.
When I wanted to go home,I tried to start my car,but it wouldn't turn over.I tried every which way,but nothing.I called my niece and she and her live in boyfriend came over to help and tried every sort of thing to try and get my car running.I called my brother in-law and he suggested that we jump it and when we did,it started.After that,I headed over to a nearby Advanced Auto Parts to have it checked out.The verdict was that I needed a new battery and I went home to get the cash and I went and picked it up.After it was installed,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving on,I am still in a constant daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the struggle.My moods and/or emotions change from day to day or at times from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and I turned,but that only made it throb even more.I sat up and started to walk and as I walked,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still getting tempted throughout the day.I had temptations to grab my genitals and play with them while lusting after other men.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for the strength to fight and resist the temptations as they came around.I hate it when temptation tries to envelope me and get me to sin against God.It is bad enough that I struggle with this terrible SSA,but to get tempted to act out in ways other than going out to seek a male partner to indulge in sinful sexual activity with can really make the struggle difficult.If I were to get that latter aforementioned temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home because I don't want to sin against God by indulging in that type of thing.It is wonderful that God gives strength to those who ask for it when it comes to fighting and resisting the temptations that come around.I am also going to again ask that prayers be said for me from those who continually follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask for some positive encouraging words by all of you as well.I see that my blog gets many visitors,but usually nobody leaves any encouraging words or anything positive for me to be upbuilded and to keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA.I would please appreciate a positive comment or two to keep me going and to keep me more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for leaving a positive comment or two in the comments section and for your continuous prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had much better today than the one I had yesterday.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and this time,I had three cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to my appointment with my therapist and was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting went pretty good and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a much better day than the one I had yesterday.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never really know how my moods and/or emotions are going to be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel much better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It looks like that these terrible temptations are not going to leave me alone anytime soon.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as I didn't want to fail again as I had the last three consecutive days.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down again until the erection had softened and when it did,I laid back down.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.This time,in order to show how serious that I am about healing and really wanting to overcome SSA,I threw every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.After each prayer,I felt better.Still,I have to be on guard as the temptations will keep coming back again and again.Last night,I really poured out my heart and soul to God in prayer in his son Christ Jesus' name and I know that he heard me and accepted me in my prayer.I humbly begged for his mercy and I also told him about the problem that I had in being accused of being mentally ill all because of my faith in him and that I pray constantly to him.I also told him about when I defended his law regarding marriage and sexuality on another forum and how they attacked on both sides as a result.The prayer took about 15 minutes,but I really felt better after that.The stress of the day was relieved and I felt renewed. I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly.While I will still continue to do that,I am also again asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me as I really desperately need it.I also ask for an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need some positive encouragement.It is just that my blog gets numerous visitors,but most of the time,none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me.Please blog visitors,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against these terrible SSA desires and the temptations associated with them.Again,don't just visit,please leave and encouraging word or two for me,even if it is an upbuilding using the Holy Bible,which is better than leaving nothing.Thanks in advance for all your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty stressful day today.
Today,I overslept and when I finally woke up and got out of bed,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which went great and after that was over,I headed over to the local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home,but that is when the stressful part of the day had begun.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to try and pay my phone bill,but they told me that they only take cash or personal checks and nothing else.I headed over to another local supermarket,but they gave me almost the same thing as the last one did.I even went to my insurance agent's office to pay on my car insurance,but they told me that I had to pay an almost $8.00 fee to use a credit card to pay.I headed over to the post office to get a money order to pay the insurance and when I got that done,I headed back to the post office to get another money order to send out the phone bill payment.After that was finally done,I headed over to a friend's place to pay him money that I owed him and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and finally got around to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to watch a little TV.Before I did any of that,I called the phone company to let them know that they payment,though a little late,was on the way to them and that I sent it out via three day Priority Mail.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty stressful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my emotions and/or moods will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,this time,I am going to be very blunt and honest with all of you.I have fallen three consecutive times this week to the terrible temptations associated with SSA.Why have I fallen?My emotions have been in a tailspin as a result of some negative things that people have said.They have said that there is no such thing as God or Jesus Christ and also,that I am mentally ill for believing in God and praying to him constantly.They also said that the Holy Bible was nothing more than a mere book of fairy tales written by men and is not relevant and that anyone who believes in the Holy Bible is irrelevant.This really put me in a tizzy.I fell three consecutive times to masturbation over the past three days.There were also lustful thoughts accompanying these falls as well.I kept asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the failings and to show me his mercy in forgiving me as I was really sorry for falling those three consecutive times.I really poured my heart and soul out to him and though I did feel better,I still need to work on getting over this emotional tailspin that I am in and also,the stressful day that I had today also didn't help much as lustful thoughts continued to creep into my mind.I really feel bad and really need some prayerful support from everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.I am also in need of positive encouragement in the comments section.I am going to continue asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and again,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I am really in desperate need of both of these things.I will also continue praying.Thanks in advance to all of those who follow my blog for all of their prayers and encouragement.I will also continue to pray and I still thank God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my therapist.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ