Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today,I simply went to a local Dollar Tree store and I picked up something for lunch.After paying for the item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate lunch and after that,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with on a daily basis.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about nor dread when both God and Christ are there to get me through.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,a double whammy hit me late last night and in the wee early morning hours today when I gave into temptation last night by masturbating and when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened as I didn't want to give in again like I did late last night.When I did give in late last night,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and also pleaded to God for his mercy as this was yet another fall of mine as a result of lustful images of men creeping into my mentality.I am really going through a very complex emotional pattern right now as a result of this being the holiday season and that it is the first without my mom being around.I am now seeing that Satan is using this complex emotional pattern to really try to make it difficult for me to continue in my fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires that are related to the SSA condition.It is bad enough that I am going through this terrible SSA thing,but the complex emotions that are really starting to pile up mentally on me is just too much for me to handle right now.Since my mom died in September of this year,I am really starting to feel the loneliness of not having her around and also,I am still feeling her absence and it is really getting to me.I know that these things will heal in time and that it will take a while for me to really adjust to this.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow and read my blog as I really desperately need them.I am also again asking that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as my blog does attract visitors,but nobody leaves a word or two of encouragement for me.Both prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and also,they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ