Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was the start of the weekend.I really did not do too much.I ate a quick breakfast after I woke up and I did my personal PC work.It was only very little and I managed to get it done in less than an hour.After finishing that,I did some online browsing before closing the internet.
In the early afternoon,I ran an errand for my mom.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom wanted me to get.I also helped a lady that I knew from around the town by taking her home because she had three bags full of groceries and she wanted to get home.I dropped her off at her place and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off the stuff that I had gotten and I headed back out to get a couple of small things at another local supermarket in my hometown and I headed back home after that.
When I got back home,I relaxed for a bit and I took a bath while my mom prepared dinner.A bath before dinner on Saturday is a habit of mine and I wanted to be clean and shaven.After finishing,I put on some clean clothes and I ate.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also called the Drop-In Center again and the conversation that I had was another pleasant one.I will be calling tomorrow and I am hoping for yet another pleasant talk with someone.
Though I am feeling okay,I am still feeling the depressive funk that I have been in for the past several weeks.It seems that I just can't snap out of this.I have been trying everything and it hasn't been working.If anyone out there can help me with any encouraging words,I would appreciate that.Thanks.
Before posting here,I had another talk with my brother in-law at the same place that he was yesterday and I also got a phone call from my father while waiting for the internet connection.Both of these conversations,though short,were very pleasant.I will be talking with my brother in-law tomorrow and I am hoping that it will be yet another pleasant talk.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having no temptation to watch pornography and that is great.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any temptation.
As for tonight,I am going to go out even though I really don't feel like it.I am hoping to have a good time.
As for tomorrow,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went smoothly despite a minor setback at the rehab center when I made the pick-up.I had to pick up a mess when I was there but I didn't let it ruin the day for me.I simply bagged the stuff and I headed for the worksite.
After getting there,I had lunch first before sorting out the laundry.After I ate,I went to sort out the laundry and start a couple of loads.I also hung out at the social club for a while and I also sat in on a meeting that was there to talk about coping skills for people with mental illness.
Though the work shift smoothly,I was still in a funk for much of the day.I was feeling sad and feeling unable to carry on with the day.But I did get through the day the best way that I knew how.But still,I had the sad feelings of depression and that actually made the day feel even harder.After the loads of laundry were done,I bagged everything that was clean and I dropped it all off at the rehab center before heading straight home.
When I got home,I dropped some stuff off and I headed for the bank to cash some checks.After doing that,I headed back home to drop the money off.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site.It took me a long time but I got them all on there and after stamping them as well as doing some personal PC work,I headed back out again to get something for dinner at a local Burger King and a local Wendy's.I also got a surprise phone call from my father earlier today when I got home from the bank.The conversation was only a few minutes but it was still good to talk with him.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I again called the Drop-In Center to talk about my day and the funk that I was in for much of the day.It was another wonderful conversation and after hanging up,I felt a little but better though the depression is still there.
I also hung out with my brother in-law for a bit and I talked with him about the way I am feeling and he listened and understood.I told him that I didn't know what caused this and I am trying to get out.I told him that nothing really has cheered me up and how empty that I felt as a result of this depression.We talked for quite a while and since it was getting late,we called it a night and we both headed for home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and I am now trying to relax comfortably.I still have to take a bath before my day is through.
The weekend is finally here and I am hoping to start going back out again.I am just hoping that I feel up to it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having any temptations to watch any pornography.After finishing here,I am going to close off the internet and finish what I have to do.
That was my day today and my hopes for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly despite a minor setback at the rehab center when I made the pick-up.I had to pick up a mess when I was there but I didn't let it ruin the day for me.I simply bagged the stuff and I headed for the worksite.
After getting there,I had lunch first before sorting out the laundry.After I ate,I went to sort out the laundry and start a couple of loads.I also hung out at the social club for a while and I also sat in on a meeting that was there to talk about coping skills for people with mental illness.
Though the work shift smoothly,I was still in a funk for much of the day.I was feeling sad and feeling unable to carry on with the day.But I did get through the day the best way that I knew how.But still,I had the sad feelings of depression and that actually made the day feel even harder.After the loads of laundry were done,I bagged everything that was clean and I dropped it all off at the rehab center before heading straight home.
When I got home,I dropped some stuff off and I headed for the bank to cash some checks.After doing that,I headed back home to drop the money off.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site.It took me a long time but I got them all on there and after stamping them as well as doing some personal PC work,I headed back out again to get something for dinner at a local Burger King and a local Wendy's.I also got a surprise phone call from my father earlier today when I got home from the bank.The conversation was only a few minutes but it was still good to talk with him.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I again called the Drop-In Center to talk about my day and the funk that I was in for much of the day.It was another wonderful conversation and after hanging up,I felt a little but better though the depression is still there.
I also hung out with my brother in-law for a bit and I talked with him about the way I am feeling and he listened and understood.I told him that I didn't know what caused this and I am trying to get out.I told him that nothing really has cheered me up and how empty that I felt as a result of this depression.We talked for quite a while and since it was getting late,we called it a night and we both headed for home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and I am now trying to relax comfortably.I still have to take a bath before my day is through.
The weekend is finally here and I am hoping to start going back out again.I am just hoping that I feel up to it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having any temptations to watch any pornography.After finishing here,I am going to close off the internet and finish what I have to do.
That was my day today and my hopes for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had and after I was finished,I simply bagged what was clean and I dropped it off at the rehab center before heading for home.I also had lunch before heading for home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and have a nap.I was feeling a little tired and I felt that a nap would do me some good.This time,it actually did.I got back up refreshed and feeling a little bit better.
I also managed to get out and check up on a friend that had just been released from the hospital.I spent a few minutes with him and he was in pretty good spirits.After talking with him for a few minutes,I left for home.
When I got back home,I had to make a few phone calls.It was to check up on some accounts that I had to see if my payments had been received,which they were.I was relieved to hear that the payments were received and I could move on with the rest of the day.
I watched a little bit of TV for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.I also managed to find some time to play a couple of online games by myself.After doing that,I closed off the internet and I waited for dinner to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also called the Drop-In Center and talked with them for a while.These talks that I have been having with them have been doing quite a bit of good.The lady that I have been talking to said to me that I am sounding better than I have been and she feels that I will come out of this funk very soon.I am hoping that I do get out of it.I am sick of this negatively funky feeling.
Though I am slowly getting out,I am still feeling some of the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.I am still sighing repeatedly and I am still not feeling as cheerful as I should be.I still can't laugh at some things at the moment and I am still feeling like that I was run over by something.I am hoping to be fully out of this funk soon.I want to feel like myself and not like the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having the temptation to watch pornography.This is also giving me a pretty decent feeling of accomplishment.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow unscathed.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had and after I was finished,I simply bagged what was clean and I dropped it off at the rehab center before heading for home.I also had lunch before heading for home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and have a nap.I was feeling a little tired and I felt that a nap would do me some good.This time,it actually did.I got back up refreshed and feeling a little bit better.
I also managed to get out and check up on a friend that had just been released from the hospital.I spent a few minutes with him and he was in pretty good spirits.After talking with him for a few minutes,I left for home.
When I got back home,I had to make a few phone calls.It was to check up on some accounts that I had to see if my payments had been received,which they were.I was relieved to hear that the payments were received and I could move on with the rest of the day.
I watched a little bit of TV for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.I also managed to find some time to play a couple of online games by myself.After doing that,I closed off the internet and I waited for dinner to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also called the Drop-In Center and talked with them for a while.These talks that I have been having with them have been doing quite a bit of good.The lady that I have been talking to said to me that I am sounding better than I have been and she feels that I will come out of this funk very soon.I am hoping that I do get out of it.I am sick of this negatively funky feeling.
Though I am slowly getting out,I am still feeling some of the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.I am still sighing repeatedly and I am still not feeling as cheerful as I should be.I still can't laugh at some things at the moment and I am still feeling like that I was run over by something.I am hoping to be fully out of this funk soon.I want to feel like myself and not like the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having the temptation to watch pornography.This is also giving me a pretty decent feeling of accomplishment.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow unscathed.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty so-so day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up nor was there any trouble.I simply sorted out the laundry when I got to the worksite and after I ate lunch,I hung out at the social club for a while and I headed for home.
When I got home,I laid down for a while and took a nap.I was feeling tired and a little anxious and I felt that the nap would do me a world of good.I didn't know how long that I slept but I still didn't feel any better.I was still feeling anxious and I didn't know whether I was coming or going.I have been having these feelings for too long and I am hoping that these feelings go away very soon.I am already getting sick of these feelings and I want to feel like myself and not like the depression and anxiety that I have been feeling.I am hoping that these feelings go away soon.I am already getting sick of them.
I did have a talk with a therapist and she simply advised me to start taking the samples that the nurse practitioner had given me.I took the advice and took only one.But I am not feeling good.My stomach is hurting a little and so is my head.I will have to take something for the pain later on.I have taken so much medication and have withdrawn from some and the feelings that I have been feeling are not the way that I want to feel.I am feeling depressed and anxious over the days coming and going and I don't know how long I will be able to take it.If anyone out there can help me how to get through this,please do so.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I talked with the Drop-In Center again and the conversation was yet another pleasant one.I will be calling tomorrow and I am hoping that the conversation goes well.
I am still feeling down and I have been sighing like crazy.I have been doing nothing but sighing as of late.As stated,I am feeling the worst form of depression that I have ever felt and I am hoping that this will pass.It has also been very weird.I feel down for most of the day and then it lets up when the evening rolls around.As stated,I have been feeling this way for far too long and again,I am hoping that it will pass and I will be myself again.Any form of advice and encouragement is greatly appreciated.Thanks.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can report that,despite the depression,I am not having the temptation to watch any pornography at the moment.In the past,when I was depressed,I used to watch porn as a pick me up and it worked only half the time while the other half of the time,it didn't.But I now know that I do have a choice and I am not going to watch any porn.After I am done here,I am going to do something else or just close off the internet.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up nor was there any trouble.I simply sorted out the laundry when I got to the worksite and after I ate lunch,I hung out at the social club for a while and I headed for home.
When I got home,I laid down for a while and took a nap.I was feeling tired and a little anxious and I felt that the nap would do me a world of good.I didn't know how long that I slept but I still didn't feel any better.I was still feeling anxious and I didn't know whether I was coming or going.I have been having these feelings for too long and I am hoping that these feelings go away very soon.I am already getting sick of these feelings and I want to feel like myself and not like the depression and anxiety that I have been feeling.I am hoping that these feelings go away soon.I am already getting sick of them.
I did have a talk with a therapist and she simply advised me to start taking the samples that the nurse practitioner had given me.I took the advice and took only one.But I am not feeling good.My stomach is hurting a little and so is my head.I will have to take something for the pain later on.I have taken so much medication and have withdrawn from some and the feelings that I have been feeling are not the way that I want to feel.I am feeling depressed and anxious over the days coming and going and I don't know how long I will be able to take it.If anyone out there can help me how to get through this,please do so.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I talked with the Drop-In Center again and the conversation was yet another pleasant one.I will be calling tomorrow and I am hoping that the conversation goes well.
I am still feeling down and I have been sighing like crazy.I have been doing nothing but sighing as of late.As stated,I am feeling the worst form of depression that I have ever felt and I am hoping that this will pass.It has also been very weird.I feel down for most of the day and then it lets up when the evening rolls around.As stated,I have been feeling this way for far too long and again,I am hoping that it will pass and I will be myself again.Any form of advice and encouragement is greatly appreciated.Thanks.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can report that,despite the depression,I am not having the temptation to watch any pornography at the moment.In the past,when I was depressed,I used to watch porn as a pick me up and it worked only half the time while the other half of the time,it didn't.But I now know that I do have a choice and I am not going to watch any porn.After I am done here,I am going to do something else or just close off the internet.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty so-so today.
The work day went as well as expected.I did my work but I was in a funk the whole day.The funk actually made the work seem difficult.I did do a little bit of talking today with some of the social club staff today and they could tell that I was in a negatively funky state.I was in this funk throughout the entire morning.I was also saying some bad things to myself and this really scared me.Fortunately,I made it through the day and I managed to make it home after I was finished with my job.
When I got home,I had to leave again to run an errand for my mom and I also had to do something for myself.After doing these things,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
I took a nap for the rest of the afternoon and the afternoon was very quiet.I didn't turn on the TV nor did I turn on anything that was noisy.I also had a fan going on because the day was a little humid.I didn't sleep for too long but I was still feeling funky.Though the funk had let up some,I was still feeling the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.I am hoping that I can get through this.It has been very rough and I am already at the point where I can't stand it anymore.I am hoping to get through this funk and I know that I can't go through this alone.If anyone has any advice,please share.Thanks.
After I ate dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I called the Drop-In Center and talked with them for a while.It was good to talk with them for a while and after hanging up,I did feel minimally better.I will be calling them tomorrow unless something comes up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having any temptations to watch any pornography.I am feeling like I am accomplishing something here but I don't know what it could be.The minute that I am done posting here,I am going to visit elsewhere and afterwards,close off the internet.
Tomorrow is a simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day went as well as expected.I did my work but I was in a funk the whole day.The funk actually made the work seem difficult.I did do a little bit of talking today with some of the social club staff today and they could tell that I was in a negatively funky state.I was in this funk throughout the entire morning.I was also saying some bad things to myself and this really scared me.Fortunately,I made it through the day and I managed to make it home after I was finished with my job.
When I got home,I had to leave again to run an errand for my mom and I also had to do something for myself.After doing these things,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
I took a nap for the rest of the afternoon and the afternoon was very quiet.I didn't turn on the TV nor did I turn on anything that was noisy.I also had a fan going on because the day was a little humid.I didn't sleep for too long but I was still feeling funky.Though the funk had let up some,I was still feeling the depressive feelings that I have been feeling.I am hoping that I can get through this.It has been very rough and I am already at the point where I can't stand it anymore.I am hoping to get through this funk and I know that I can't go through this alone.If anyone has any advice,please share.Thanks.
After I ate dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I called the Drop-In Center and talked with them for a while.It was good to talk with them for a while and after hanging up,I did feel minimally better.I will be calling them tomorrow unless something comes up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having any temptations to watch any pornography.I am feeling like I am accomplishing something here but I don't know what it could be.The minute that I am done posting here,I am going to visit elsewhere and afterwards,close off the internet.
Tomorrow is a simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
After getting up out of bed this morning,I ate a quick breakfast and I had a couple cups of coffee.I also did my personal PC work and after that was done,I simply closed off the internet and started to get ready for the day.
This afternoon,I had a talk with a neighbor of mine and I also went to a gas station to get a little bit of gas.After that,I took my mom to a local supermarket so she could do some last minute shopping.
I also had a talk with the counseling center today.Unfortunately,they couldn't hook me up with anyone to talk to and referred me back to the local hospital,which I called the minute that I hung up with the center.I talked with the medication manager and told her exactly how I felt and she advised to try and hang in there until next Monday.She told me to share how I am feeling and to take any advice that she gives and if she wants to prescribe me with any new medication,just give it a try.It wouldn't hurt to just try something instead of avoiding the situation.I have only one fear.I fear that the nurse practitioner is going to overmedicate me and I don't want that.I don't want what happened to Elvis Presley or Michael Jackson to happen to me.I did talk with the Drop-In Center tonight and they advised me not to have any worries and not to dwell on anything negative.I told them that the only thing that I can do is hope.I am just hoping that I will be okay after I see the nurse practitioner because I can't take this depressive funk anymore.Though the depression has leveled off a little,I am still feeling the feelings of being depressed and I am hoping that I will be out of this funk soon.I just can't take it anymore.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I as stated,I talked with the Drop-In Center for a short time.It was another pleasant conversation and I will be calling again tomorrow night.
I am now relaxing and I am getting ready for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
After getting up out of bed this morning,I ate a quick breakfast and I had a couple cups of coffee.I also did my personal PC work and after that was done,I simply closed off the internet and started to get ready for the day.
This afternoon,I had a talk with a neighbor of mine and I also went to a gas station to get a little bit of gas.After that,I took my mom to a local supermarket so she could do some last minute shopping.
I also had a talk with the counseling center today.Unfortunately,they couldn't hook me up with anyone to talk to and referred me back to the local hospital,which I called the minute that I hung up with the center.I talked with the medication manager and told her exactly how I felt and she advised to try and hang in there until next Monday.She told me to share how I am feeling and to take any advice that she gives and if she wants to prescribe me with any new medication,just give it a try.It wouldn't hurt to just try something instead of avoiding the situation.I have only one fear.I fear that the nurse practitioner is going to overmedicate me and I don't want that.I don't want what happened to Elvis Presley or Michael Jackson to happen to me.I did talk with the Drop-In Center tonight and they advised me not to have any worries and not to dwell on anything negative.I told them that the only thing that I can do is hope.I am just hoping that I will be okay after I see the nurse practitioner because I can't take this depressive funk anymore.Though the depression has leveled off a little,I am still feeling the feelings of being depressed and I am hoping that I will be out of this funk soon.I just can't take it anymore.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I as stated,I talked with the Drop-In Center for a short time.It was another pleasant conversation and I will be calling again tomorrow night.
I am now relaxing and I am getting ready for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a much better day than yesterday.After eating a quick breakfast and doing my personal PC work,I was still feeling a little drowsy and I laid down for the rest of the morning.The medication that I am currently taking is making me feel this way and all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep.I am hoping that this side effect passes and I will be back to my old self again.
Lately,I have not been feeling like myself.I have been feeling really and mightily depressed for the past several weeks.I have been calling this place called the Drop In Center to talk and they talks have been really great.I enjoy talking with the people there and it is always a pleasure to find someone who will listen to you and talk to you like normal human beings without being judgemental.After hanging up with them,I decided to go on here and post my day on here.
I also had another talk with my father this afternoon.As usual,the conversation was only a few minutes but still,it was great to talk with him.I am still hoping that he comes up for a visit soon.Right now,he has to get some personal stuff out of the way before he can even come up for a visit.Again,I am still holding onto the hope that he will come up and we will talk and spend as much time as possible together.
I had only small errand to run.I went to a local drug store to pick up a couple of things that my mom needed from there and after that,I chose to stay home as there was really no place to go.The weather might have been better but still,there was no place to go.
Though I had a pretty good day and though I am saying that I am feeling okay,I am still feeling some depressive feelings and I am still feeling the full effects of the funk.Though it has leveled off some in the evening(which is weird in itself),I am still feeling the feelings of sadness.I will be calling the office tomorrow to see if they can possibly hook me up with a counselor until my regular one is back at the office.I am going to tell the office how I am feeling and again,I hope that they can hook me up with someone to talk to.I really do need someone to talk to on a regular basis and I am hoping to find just that.I hope that they can hook me up with someone.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also watched a little bit of 60 Minutes.There was some pretty interesting stuff that they were talking about and it was great to watch it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,tonight is the first time in a long time that I am not having any temptation to watch any pornography. I am feeling a little bit better as a result.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is my day off and I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today was a much better day than yesterday.After eating a quick breakfast and doing my personal PC work,I was still feeling a little drowsy and I laid down for the rest of the morning.The medication that I am currently taking is making me feel this way and all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep.I am hoping that this side effect passes and I will be back to my old self again.
Lately,I have not been feeling like myself.I have been feeling really and mightily depressed for the past several weeks.I have been calling this place called the Drop In Center to talk and they talks have been really great.I enjoy talking with the people there and it is always a pleasure to find someone who will listen to you and talk to you like normal human beings without being judgemental.After hanging up with them,I decided to go on here and post my day on here.
I also had another talk with my father this afternoon.As usual,the conversation was only a few minutes but still,it was great to talk with him.I am still hoping that he comes up for a visit soon.Right now,he has to get some personal stuff out of the way before he can even come up for a visit.Again,I am still holding onto the hope that he will come up and we will talk and spend as much time as possible together.
I had only small errand to run.I went to a local drug store to pick up a couple of things that my mom needed from there and after that,I chose to stay home as there was really no place to go.The weather might have been better but still,there was no place to go.
Though I had a pretty good day and though I am saying that I am feeling okay,I am still feeling some depressive feelings and I am still feeling the full effects of the funk.Though it has leveled off some in the evening(which is weird in itself),I am still feeling the feelings of sadness.I will be calling the office tomorrow to see if they can possibly hook me up with a counselor until my regular one is back at the office.I am going to tell the office how I am feeling and again,I hope that they can hook me up with someone to talk to.I really do need someone to talk to on a regular basis and I am hoping to find just that.I hope that they can hook me up with someone.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also watched a little bit of 60 Minutes.There was some pretty interesting stuff that they were talking about and it was great to watch it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,tonight is the first time in a long time that I am not having any temptation to watch any pornography. I am feeling a little bit better as a result.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is my day off and I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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