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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
The very first thing that I did today was that I returned some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the back seat of my car.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my prescription.After paying the co-pay for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negatives and that both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned to my right side,but the erections wouldn't soften.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up to use it.While on the way there,though it was slow going,the erection started to die down and when I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back t bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed busy throughout the day just doing the things that needed to be done.I kept my mind on the things that I was doing and I didn't let nothing sexual take over my mind.I simply stayed out in the community and that is what helped me take my mind off of the negative sexual images of men.While I escaped today without anything happening,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at this moment.I am also asking that all of you followers of my blog to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work as I didn't have the time to finish and I got dressed quickly as I had to get to my spirituality group and also,be on time for it.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen that I eat lunch at every Thursday,but got a back lunch as they were going to have an important meeting there.I simply took my bag lunch and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off everything and I headed back out again to deposit a little bit of money in my checking account.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my bag lunch and I finished my personal PC work.I simply relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
I did go back out to get a sandwich to have with some soup that I had as that was going to be my evening meal.After eating that,I simply went back out for a while and when I came back home,I stayed home.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a much calmer level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through the negativism's of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Thanks to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed.Though it was slow going,it made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and subsequently went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was again tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't too big of a thing as I kept busy with things.I simply kept my mind on other things,and didn't let my mind wander off into forbidden territory,in regards to anything having to do with sexual things.I kept my mind focused and I had a pretty good feeling all over about that.While today wasn't big on anything like that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts to please keep praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Your prayers and words of encouragement do matter and they do help me in more ways than one.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and after a while of relaxation for mot of the morning,I got dressed up in dress clothes to prepare for my two interviews today for jobs in my area.
The first interview,which was supposed to be a phone interview,never called.The substitute job placement counselor and I waited for almost half an hour for the phone to ring.I had to call the place to see what was what and since the substitute job placement counselor had another client to meet at a certain time,she left.Not too long after she left,another substitute job placement counselor came and took me to the other interview,which did happen.It was at a local nursing home and the interview went great and they informed me that they would let me know in two weeks.After it was over,I was dropped off at home and I changed clothes real quickly as I had a few things to do,such as a much needed errand that needed to be run.After that was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also went out again for a while.When I got home,I got ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I throw it in him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals,though it was pretty slow going,softened.When my genitals were fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with sexual images of other men.But today,I kept my mind focused on the things that were going on with me.I kept my mind focused on my job interview and the errand that I had to run when I got home from my interview.This time,I didn't have to worry about falling into sin via temptation and that was great.I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today.
Before I went out to do anything,I got two phone calls in regards to applications that I filed for work in my hometown.I have two interviews for jobs tomorrow.One will be a phone interview that will take place at home with a substitute job placement counselor sitting in on the interview.The next will be at a local nursing home looking for someone to work as a kitchen assistant.I am hoping and praying that at least one of these will lead to a job.I am getting sick of being unemployed and not doing anything except sitting on my butt and getting bored.Again,I am hoping and praying that this leads to a job.
After the phone calls,I headed out to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed out to a nearby Goodwill thrift store that just opened up in the area where my friend was living.I bought some nice things there and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular psychiatric struggle that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed.My genitals were starting to soften and when they were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing of other men.This time,I kept myself busy by being out in the community today.Since I was out in the community,sexual thoughts didn't take over my mind as I was going over what I was doing at the thrift stores and visiting my friend.It was great.I had a wonderful day out in the community.I also had my mind on the job interviews that I have tomorrow afternoon.Again,I am hoping that these lead to a job.I am hoping and praying that it does.I am again asking for prayers by my fellow followers here as I desperately need them.Please keep me in your prayers that these interviews lead to a job and also,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a rough emotional time here.I also ask for some encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words really help.They both help keep me going.They also keep strengthening my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also keep strengthening my determination to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the two job interviews,I have really no plans.But I hope that the interviews lead me to a job and that what I choose to do after them give me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I had to take my niece to work as her car was in the shop.On the way there,I stopped to get some gas at a local gas station and after that was done,we headed for her work place.After dropping her off,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work.I also had a light lunch after doing that.After lunch,I eagerly awaited for the time to leave the house to pick her up and when it came,I hurried out to where she worked and picked her up.After dropping her off at home,I also headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They help in both sustaining me and keeping on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals soften.After a few minutes,when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as it has been on past days.Today,I received an e-mail from someone that I was trying to help on Facebook and he actually did what I advised him to do.He actually prayed to our Heavenly Father and asked for strength to fight and resist the temptations that he was experiencing at that time.He asked for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ for that strength and that made me feel joyful.I was really overwhelmed that my prayers were answered and that he did the right thing,by going to our Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist the temptations.Again,that made me feel joy and exuberance.My faith in my Heavenly Father has also strengthened as a result of that.For the rest of the day,I felt nothing but joy and happiness that my helping someone in a time of need had actually really helped them.Thank you Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything.Fellow followers,I am still going to ask for prayers by all of you.I am also asking that y'all leave an encouraging word or two.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey of healing from these unwanted and unnatural desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks again to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up quickly in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service went great.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had a light lunch.After that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished,I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by masturbating.There was some lusting involved in this fall as well.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him by falling by masturbation.I prayed real hard and I didn't leave anything out.I did feel better and I also knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.For much of the day when I came home from church,I stayed busy by keeping in touch with my online friends on both Facebook and sending e-mails to my friends via my many e-mail accounts.I also had to continuously help a Facebook contact to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength to fight and resist the urge to masturbate as he was lusting and yearning to see my private parts.I continuously told him that I couldn't do that as that would be sinful for me to do.He did continuously insist,but I stood my ground.I kept up my ground and simply and tactfully told him that I was signing off and that I was going to pray for him that he receives strength for our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.I also prayed that he would go to our Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for that strength to fight and resist that particular urge.I am hoping that he does the right thing and prays and prays real hard.I also didn't want to fall again,so I kept close to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the urges as they came at me from all sides.I prayed and prayed and I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both help me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ