Tonight,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.It was a semi decent day today for me.I got to spend a few hours home alone.I rarely ever have time to myself anymore.So,when my mother was going shopping with my sister and my niece,I smiled because I got to spend much of the day at home by myself while my mom and my sister and niece went out and about.I watched a few classic cartoons on DVD while I was doing a computer scan to see if there were any viruses on my database.Though I did one last night,I did another one because while I was opening up e-mail files in my Yahoo e-mail box,the top of the internet page showed black in some areas and I signed out and closed off the internet and started over.After I was done with my personal e-mail work,I deleted some and emptied the trash before signing out.I did a thorough virus scan to see if my computer had any viruses and after about an hour and a half,there were none.I was relieved that there were no viruses or even spyware on the computer.After that,I took it easy for the rest of the day.
I only had to run one errand for my mother today.I had to get a couple of extras for dinner and some more soap because I was almost out of it.After eating,I checked my messages and had only a few.Right now,I am relaxing and getting ready to entertain the crowd tonight.I am hoping that everything goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still always hope for things to go well.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres are having a rematch with the Toronto Maple Leafs in Toronto.Right now,the Sabres are division leaders and are still hoping to clinch a playoff berth.Toronto,on the other hand,is below the top 8 for playoff contention.I hope that the Sabres can defeat the Leafs a second consecutive time tonight.A second consecutive win would be totally sweet.
That was my day today and my hoped for night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.The work day went by pretty smoothly.I did my job and that went by fast.I also did some reading of The Anger Wprkbook today.This,unlike The Anger Trap,is more of a spiritual book rather than a secular.It shares scriptures from the Holy Bible and it also offers some ideas on how I can keep my emotions under control.Today,nothing really negative happened to write about and that was good.Again,it was a pretty smooth work day and that was also pretty good.
I am still having the problem of saying angry things to myself pretending that there are people there and it is still crushing me.I still would like to STOP doing that because it is bringing me down.I just do not know what I am going to do.If there is a way that I can stop this habit,I would like some advice.Thanks in advance.Though I have not done this in front of other people,I still would like to STOP this.As I have stated previously,I could wind up unintentionally hurting myself or others and that would not be good.I do not want to do that.I want people to approach me and not be afraid to do so.I would also like for them to talk to me and even like having me around.If I don't stop this,the opposite just might happen.That is something that I don't want to happen.
On a positive side,I had a good day and I got through another day without losing my temper.Not only that,the Buffalo Sabres defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs tonight by a score of 5-4.It did look bad for Buffalo for most of the game when the Leafs took a 4-1 lead and held on to it for most of the game.Buffalo would rally to come from behind by scoring 4 consecutive goals to defeat the Leafs.The Sabres and Leafs are having a rematch tomorrow night in Toronto.I hope that the Sabres can pull another win over the Leafs tomorrow night and I also hope that they do not make the same mistakes that they made tonight like costly turnovers and stupid penalties.The Sabres barely escaped this one tonight and that was great.I hope that that they can pull it off again and this time without any more costly mistakes.
Tomorrow night is my night to entertain the crowds.I am hoping that the night goes well.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a very good day at work for me.The work day went by smoothly and I got a lot done.The work day was a pretty good one today.
I started reading a new book by Les Carter and Frank Minirth called The Anger Workbook.I am going to start doing the work in the workbook tomorrow and jot down some of the issues that have contributed to why I am having a tough time controlling my anger.So far,I have not lost my temper in quite a while since the last time I did and it got me into trouble.But I do have one problem.I am constantly always saying angry things to myself pretending that there are people there in front of me when there is nobody there.I don't do this in front of other people but when I am alone.I work alone in a basement as part of my job with the rehabilitation agency that I work for.It has been a problem with me for quite a while and I would like to stop this habit because I could wind up hurting somebody else unintentionally or even hurt myself where people would not want me around.Though I have been making progress,according to my counselors,my supervisor and other people that I know,I would like to nip this other problem in the butt.It has really been crushing me.I want to STOP saying/shouting angry things to myself because as I have stated above,I do not want to accidently hurt myself or others.Again,it's been really crushing me and I feel that I am never going to be free of this.I want to be free.I want to control my emotions,including anger.I don't want my emotions controlling me.I feel as if I am walking on a bridge that is gonna crash down if I do not walk carefully enough to prevent it from falling.
On a positive note,I am still living and still trying to enjoy life the best way I know how.Despite my problems,I am still hanging in there and trying to keep myself under control one day at a time.But this problem that I have is really bringing me down and I,at times,feel miserable whenever it happens.I just want to be free and live without having my emotions ensnaring me.
Again,the work day went well and that was good.
But I need any advice on how I can contain this problem and keep it contained.Any advice would be helpful.Thanks so much.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very wonderful day today.It was simply awesome and I feel a little bit better today.
Today was simply a pick-up day at work for me.I picked up a couple bags of laundry and they were all bagged and ready for me when I arrived to pick them up.After I dropped them off and sorted the laundry out,I turned in some bottles at a local supermarket and got some extra cash that I really needed.I did my personal computer work and had a light lunch.
I also had a wonderful meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor this afternoon.I am glad that this went well.I also had a wonderful group meeting tonight and I am also glad that it went well.It was wonderful to talk and let all that emotional baggage go as you do so.We also had three new men join our group and that was even more wonderful.It makes our little group look a whole lot bigger.It was terrific to have some new guys in the group.We all let ourselves go in conversation and it was great to let it all out.It was a wonderful meeting and I am looking forward to the next meeting next Wednesday night.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious.The defeated the Washington Capitals tonight by a score of 5-2.Their next game is Friday night when they host the Toronto Maple Leafs in Buffalo.I hope that the Sabres can make it two in a row on Friday night.
Tomorow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth work day today and that was great.I even had a nice talk with one of the job coaches today on the job and it was short,but pleasant.I have really nothing negative to talk about regarding today on the job.So,I will leave it at that.
I am at home right now.The night is COLD but tonight will be the last blast of arctic weather because it will be warmer tomorrow.It is going to be in the upper 40's and there will be rain tomorrow night to melt the snow and ice.I hope that the warm weather will stay awhile because I have had it with the freezing cold.I know that it is Winter but the COLD wintry weather does get tiresome after a while.After taking out the trash,I am going to bathe and get ready for bed.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I only have to pick up the laundry and drop it off at the work site and go home.I also have a meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and i am hoping that it goes well.I also have my group meeting at the church tomorrow night and likewise,I am also hoping that it goes well.Tomorrow is special for one other reason,it will be my 7th anniversary of giving up smoking cigarettes.I am glad that I no longer smoke and not having to be dependant on an ash tray whenever I least expect it.But again,I have gotten through 7 years and I am taking not smoking as a one day at a time thing and not thinking of "never doing it again".But I am glad that I have gotten this far and I am ready to go at it again for another year.I still feel that I have accomplished something by this and that gives me a great feeling.Tomorrow night,the Buffalo Sabres are hosting the Washington Capitals at home.I am hoping for a Sabres victory tomorrow night.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling good.I had a wonderful day today.It was truly something.I went thrift shop hopping today as planned and I found some really great stuff.Aside fron finding some nice clothes that fit,I found some more great records to add to my record collection.I did find one that I have been looking for,which made me feel great.It was a nice record album by The Mystic Moods Orchestra.I even listened to it today when I got home as I was sorting out the stuff that I bought.I can now get rid of the really scratched copy that I have been holding onto for a long time.I am glad to have found this album.Again,I had a really great day out.It was great to get out of the city for a while and go somewhere else.I am still hoping to take that trip that I have been holding off on for a long time.I am hoping to take it this year sometime in the near future because I am tired of putting it off so much.Again,I am hoping to make the trip this year and I hope that nothing stands in my way of finally taking it.New York state is nice but I want to go elsewhere for a change.I did leave town for a few days back in 2004 and that was a wonderful experience.It was the first time that I went away since going to summer camp when I was 13.
Again,today was a wonderful day.I got out for a while and that was great.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.There was not too much to do today because the weather was not too pleasing.But I did get out for a while and I managed to get some stuff done.First,I ran an errand for my mom.Second,I bought a couple slices of pizza and I even managed to visit a shopping mall in my home town and walked around a bit.I simply browsed the stores to see if they had anything nice in stock.They did,but the prices were expensive.I did not have any money with me today anyway.I just went in to look and I walked around the mall for a bit.I left and I went home.After dinner,I relaxed,catched up on my e-mail and even had a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey.He's doing good.I am glad that he is.
Last night,I went out to do my usual entertaining the crowd.What a night!The place I entertain at was having a St.Patrick's Day party and there was also a raffle.It was also a birthday for one of the semi-regulars and we all sang Birthday by The Beatles off The White Album.I even managed to sing a couple of new songs.It was a very exciting night.I did not leave until a little after 3:00 a.m. in the morning.While on the way home last night,I stopped to get some gas so I would be able to start my vehicle up the next day after a bitterly cold night.Again,last night was great and today was pretty good.I even had a friend who lives in my hometown with me along with his girlfriend.We all had a blast.I did not wake up today until 11:45 a.m.Next week,I am hoping that everything returns to normal.
The only disappointment today was that the Buffalo Sabres lost this afternoon by a score of 4-3 in overtime to the Atlanta Thrashers.But I am happy that the Sabres played a great game and did not try to let the Thrashers walk all over them.The Sabres host the Washingtom Capitals on Wednesday night in Buffalo.I am hoping for a Buffalo Sabres win.
Tomorrow is a day off.I am hoping to do some more thrift shop hopping tomorrow.I am hoping to find some nice things to wear.
That was day and my night last night.FJ