Attn:To all my blog followers,friends,supporters and everyone.
I will not be online for the next several days.I have been having a really difficult time trying to get my internet service going again.My internet service was cancelled as a result of me switching to Magic Jack Plus for phone service and the number transfer affected my internet with my internet service provider.I called to get it back and it will take several days to get back online.I asked for a combined package to get my DirecTV with internet,but part of the deal is to have a home phone so I can have internet service so my Magic Jack Plus phone service can work.This is a circumstance beyond my control and I am sorry for it all happening.It has been really frustrating and stressful for me and I don't know whether I am coming or going.I am just hoping that all of this ends soon.
Please continue in prayers for me as I am going through this really terrible frustrating and stressful situation.SSA will skyrocket for me and I will be getting tempted to do a lot of sinful things,such as masturbation and fantasy.Again,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.
I am hoping to be online soon.Please be patient.I will start shatring more about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA when my situation is finally straightened out.Thanks in advance to all of you for your patience.FJ
Friday, January 04, 2013
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few important things that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that was done,I attended my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and this was my first group that I have attended in the last two weeks after illness and being stuck in my driveway kept me home.I headed for the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and I took it easy while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices,sounds and other things that nobody else,but myself,can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing up this particular struggle with God and his son Christ Jesus to get through it all and I do feel a tad better when I do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away and yes,there was also lusting and fantasies involved with this fall as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged for God to show me his mercy and telling him how sorry that I was for giving into the temptation and I did feel better afterwards.I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God does forgive every time that anyone who worships him fails in their attempts to resist all sorts of temptations.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in ways other than seeking another man out to indulge in sinful sexual activity with him.I kept up asking for God to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I have to try and show the unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I can't let the unnatural desires that I have own me as it is sinful and wrong for two members of the same gender to indulge in sexual activity together as it goes against God's perfect law and is unacceptable to God.I am still in desperate need for continuous healing and continuous affirmation of my gender identity by others.I am also asking that everyone who continues to follow my blog to continue in prayer for me as I am still trying to get over this complex emotional time that I am going through.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires connected with it and also,your prayers and comments also make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to y'all for all of your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few important things that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that was done,I attended my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and this was my first group that I have attended in the last two weeks after illness and being stuck in my driveway kept me home.I headed for the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and I took it easy while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices,sounds and other things that nobody else,but myself,can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing up this particular struggle with God and his son Christ Jesus to get through it all and I do feel a tad better when I do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away and yes,there was also lusting and fantasies involved with this fall as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged for God to show me his mercy and telling him how sorry that I was for giving into the temptation and I did feel better afterwards.I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God does forgive every time that anyone who worships him fails in their attempts to resist all sorts of temptations.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in ways other than seeking another man out to indulge in sinful sexual activity with him.I kept up asking for God to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I have to try and show the unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I can't let the unnatural desires that I have own me as it is sinful and wrong for two members of the same gender to indulge in sexual activity together as it goes against God's perfect law and is unacceptable to God.I am still in desperate need for continuous healing and continuous affirmation of my gender identity by others.I am also asking that everyone who continues to follow my blog to continue in prayer for me as I am still trying to get over this complex emotional time that I am going through.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires connected with it and also,your prayers and comments also make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to y'all for all of your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my usual personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I went to visit with a friend and had a talk with him for a while.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Burger King for a sandwich as a quick lunch.After eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking with God and his son Christ Jesus about this particular struggle and feeling a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help get me through even the most difficult periods in this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but fortunately,it didn't last very long.The erection softened within a few minutes of me waking up and when it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I really had to pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong whenever these temptations tried to envelope me and/or tried to control me.I threw every one of them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist each and every temptation that came at me from all sides.With this being the new year,the holiday season is practically over and I feel like that this is a renewed hope and resolution to try and stay strong whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I just keep asking God to continue strengthening me whenever these terrible temptations came around and I felt better after asking for that strength.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts.I also ask that you leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch later at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my usual personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I went to visit with a friend and had a talk with him for a while.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Burger King for a sandwich as a quick lunch.After eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking with God and his son Christ Jesus about this particular struggle and feeling a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help get me through even the most difficult periods in this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but fortunately,it didn't last very long.The erection softened within a few minutes of me waking up and when it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I really had to pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong whenever these temptations tried to envelope me and/or tried to control me.I threw every one of them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist each and every temptation that came at me from all sides.With this being the new year,the holiday season is practically over and I feel like that this is a renewed hope and resolution to try and stay strong whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I just keep asking God to continue strengthening me whenever these terrible temptations came around and I felt better after asking for that strength.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts.I also ask that you leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch later at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
Happy New Year to everyone out there in the world.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the first service of the new year on this New Year's Day.
The service was wonderful and very spiritually filling.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I gout out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and after I was finished eating that,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.For me,going to church to start the new year off with a spiritual beginning made the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and God and his son Christ Jesus are there to get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up for a while and when the erection softened,I laid back down and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lustful behavior.I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ the whole day and I kept up asking for strength to help me fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I always felt better after praying and since the 2012 holiday season and year is now over,I can now work on continuing to move on with my life since my mother is no longer living.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who continues to follow and read my blog.I am also asking for encouraging words to be said in the comments section.I get man visitors to my blog,but not everyone who visits leaves an encouraging word or two.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue to pray for me as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue my fight against this terrible SSA and even more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the first service of the new year on this New Year's Day.
The service was wonderful and very spiritually filling.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I gout out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and after I was finished eating that,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.For me,going to church to start the new year off with a spiritual beginning made the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and God and his son Christ Jesus are there to get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up for a while and when the erection softened,I laid back down and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lustful behavior.I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ the whole day and I kept up asking for strength to help me fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I always felt better after praying and since the 2012 holiday season and year is now over,I can now work on continuing to move on with my life since my mother is no longer living.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who continues to follow and read my blog.I am also asking for encouraging words to be said in the comments section.I get man visitors to my blog,but not everyone who visits leaves an encouraging word or two.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue to pray for me as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue my fight against this terrible SSA and even more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while popping in a DVD and I watched it.
I ate light tonight because I went to church for the evening's New Year's Eve service and the service was wonderful.They also have a special New Year's Day service tomorrow that I also will be attending.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this struggle as God and Christ both understand what I am going through and they both assist me whenever I need it.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for being there and for all that they provide to help me out.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after I had done this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me when I did.It really brought me down as I really don't know what is constantly making me fall so much.I am thinking that it could be that it is the holiday season and as a result of my mother not being here with my family for the first time,I am really going through some very complex emotional patterns as a result.I am just hoping that I can get through the rest of the day and through tomorrow,the official end of the holiday season,without any more failings.I still kept up in prayer to God today and kept asking him for strength in the name of his son Christ Jesus to help me resist every temptation that came at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time right now and I am also asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,my blog gets a lot of visitors,but nobody ever leaves anything in the comments section.Please pray and also,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's New Year's Day church service and I am thinking of relaxing for the rest of the day and watching a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the first day of the new year ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while popping in a DVD and I watched it.
I ate light tonight because I went to church for the evening's New Year's Eve service and the service was wonderful.They also have a special New Year's Day service tomorrow that I also will be attending.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this struggle as God and Christ both understand what I am going through and they both assist me whenever I need it.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for being there and for all that they provide to help me out.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after I had done this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me when I did.It really brought me down as I really don't know what is constantly making me fall so much.I am thinking that it could be that it is the holiday season and as a result of my mother not being here with my family for the first time,I am really going through some very complex emotional patterns as a result.I am just hoping that I can get through the rest of the day and through tomorrow,the official end of the holiday season,without any more failings.I still kept up in prayer to God today and kept asking him for strength in the name of his son Christ Jesus to help me resist every temptation that came at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time right now and I am also asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,my blog gets a lot of visitors,but nobody ever leaves anything in the comments section.Please pray and also,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's New Year's Day church service and I am thinking of relaxing for the rest of the day and watching a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the first day of the new year ahead.FJ
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I changed into my home suit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier for me as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,including looking at online porn, and to indulge in masturbation at the same time.I threw every temptation that I had on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked him for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I felt better afterwards.Though I have fallen several times as this year was starting to wind down,I am grateful that God forgives every fall and helps gives strength when asked in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Both of them are a wonderful help in this struggle against the terrible SSA.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,to please an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that I get many visitors,but hardly any words of encouragement are left in the comments section.I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle,and even more determined to continue in my journey out of this terrible SSA,and also to heal from all the hurts that caused me to have SSA and struggle with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I changed into my home suit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier for me as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,including looking at online porn, and to indulge in masturbation at the same time.I threw every temptation that I had on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked him for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I felt better afterwards.Though I have fallen several times as this year was starting to wind down,I am grateful that God forgives every fall and helps gives strength when asked in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Both of them are a wonderful help in this struggle against the terrible SSA.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,to please an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that I get many visitors,but hardly any words of encouragement are left in the comments section.I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle,and even more determined to continue in my journey out of this terrible SSA,and also to heal from all the hurts that caused me to have SSA and struggle with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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