Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to the local K-Mart to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription for my medication that I take nightly.After paying the co-pay on that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything away and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped in the DVD player.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,I am still,on a day to day basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the struggle is never an easy one.I am usually on an emotional roller coaster ride and that ride can always be a constant stress for me.The struggle is even more difficult with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and I wish that I didn't have them at all.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.While the struggle with BPD and schizophrenic tendencies is never an easy one,I am still relying on God more than myself.Whenever the struggle with BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have gets seemingly unbearable,I simply talk to God and his son Jesus Christ about it and I feel much better.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that really reassures me that I never have to suffer alone.It isn't easy coping with mental illness,but God and Christ both make it bearable and when it seems to be going worse,I simply throw it on them and I feel better.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This urge was a really overwhelming one indeed and I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this temptation.I started to get up and when I sat up,the erection started to soften and when I got up to walk,the erection fully softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always having to stay on guard and be watchful,as I never know when those temptations will come around.Still,while the fight to resist the unnatural desires associated with Homosexuality/SSA is never an easy one,but relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more eases the struggle a little.Whenever the temptation seems to be too overwhelming for me,I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ by talking about the temptation and I feel better after doing so.Likewise with my mental illness struggles,I simply rely on God and Christ more than my own strength and I feel better.Once I talk about the temptation with them and really let it all out,I feel better and it isn't very overwhelming anymore as it now forgotten once God and Christ take the lead.Thanks again to both God and Christ for being there in my struggles with Homosexuality/SSA.
Tomorrow morning,it is church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Earlier in the day,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
I also had one other thing on my agenda.I had my usual weekly meeting with the pastor of the church.It was a continuation of our one on one weekly studies to get me back into the church.The studies are almost finished and I am looking forward to the end where I am finally a member of the church again.
The meeting was wonderful as I got a lot out of that.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up something for myself.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is usually a very difficult thing to deal with and at times,I wish that I didn't have to.I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.I sometimes don't know whether I am coming or going.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I am also going to continue taking my medication as directed.While the recovery process is never an easy one,I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more when it seems to get unbearable.I simply talk to them about what I am going through and after that,I feel better.It doesn't make it easier,but relying on God and Jesus Christ more makes it more manageable.I do feel joy that I don't have to go it alone in my struggles with mental illness and that is wonderful.Thanks to God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming urge.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this temptation.I simply started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften.I had to use the bathroom anyway and after I was finished,I simply went back to sleep as the erection was now dead.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation to act out can be very overwhelming.While that can be,I still rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on my own strength.With God and Christ leading the way and looking out for me,I have nothing to fear and when those nasty temptations come around,I simply turn them over to God and his son Jesus Christ and the temptations go away and are forgotten.If they come around again that same day,I simply take it to God and Christ again and it is history and long forgotten.The fight to resist the temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to Homosexuality is always a difficult one,but the fight can be won when God and Christ lead the way.Thanks again to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda.I first went to a mandatory spirituality group and that was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have some lunch.After lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues to go onward,but it is still a very difficult road at that.Day after day,I am having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it is never an easy one.I am usually on an emotional roller coaster ride and that can be very frustrating.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am going to continue my therapy sessions and I am also going to continue taking my medication as directed.I will also still continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle starts to feel too unbearable.Relying on God and Christ doesn't make the struggle easier,but it does make me feel only a tad better as it shows that I am not alone.With them,my recovery isn't possible.I will have to keep relying on God and Christ whenever the situation seems to be skyrocketing out of control.If I don't,it would be like the blind leading the blind.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.This was another overwhelming urge and I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I simply got up and headed for the bathroom and after I was finished,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have when I least expect the temptation to come around.I am always in a fight to resist any of these temptations and it is always a difficult fight indeed.While it is a difficult fight,I am now relying on God and his son Jesus Christ.I have been relying on them for quite a while and while it is still difficult,it shows that I am not alone in my struggles as they are leading the way and as soon as I throw the temptation on them,I feel better and after that,it is forgotten.It is also so when I do give into temptation because I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me when that happens.I am happy that I don't have to suffer alone and with them leading the way,I have nothing to worry about as they are there helping me out.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of that.
Tomorrow,I have my appointment with the pastor of the church.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that the benefits that it gives me are positive.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things on my agenda.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after that,I went over to another local store to pick up something that I needed for myself.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player,
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still in the battle for my life when it comes to handling my struggle with BPD as it is never an easy thing to struggle with.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and that is always a difficult thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I have to put up with hearing things and noises that nobody else hears.It is bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenic tendencies alongside that really makes it extremely difficult.I am still going to attend my therapy sessions and I am going to continue taking my medication as directed.I am learning that the struggle with mental illness is never an easy one.But as stated,I am learning that relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more when it may seem unbearable does help quite a bit.Whenever it seems to feel more unbearable than I can stand or take,I simply take it to God in prayer and I feel much better.I mean,therapy with another human can be helpful,but it really isn't enough.When I bring God and Christ in,it is even more helpful than what any human therapist can give.I am glad that they are there to listen and to help me when I ask for it.Without them,I would be lost and feeling discouraged.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection out of a deep sleep.It was also another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge to masturbate the erection away.I started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften and since I had to use the bathroom,the erection softened on the way there and after I was finished,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it may be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to keep constantly on guard and be watchful as that temptation can come when I am not aware that it is coming and when it does happen,I feel like I am stuck in the middle.Still,no matter when that happens,I simply can talk to God and his son Jesus Christ.All I do is throw the temptation on them and after that,it is gone and forgotten.If it comes back later on,I simply take it to God and his son Jesus Christ again and it is also gone and forgotten.I am now making it my resolution to always take it to God and Christ in prayer and I feel better.It is great that I am not alone in my fight and that God and Christ are there to take the lead and guide me through.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend and also,I am planning to have lunch over at a local kitchen.Aside from those things,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that the benefits that it gives are positive.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day as I had only a few things planned.
I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor later in the day and I was looking forward to this session with her.I had an assignment done and I was going to bring it with me for us to discuss.Firstly,I went to a local supermarket to get my mom something that she wanted.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had to buy away in the fridge and I got ready for my appointment.
The session went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more on my computer.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues to go forward,but it is still a very difficult road.Then again,it is never easy dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is never an easy thing to put up with and it gets tougher by the day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still in therapy and I still take my medication as directed,but it still really doesn't make it any easier.When the struggle seems to be unbearable,I rely on God and his son Jesus Christ when it seems that way.I just talk about it with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help me in my struggles.It doesn't make it easier,but it makes it more manageable and also,it isn't really as difficult if I were to go it alone.I am also glad that I really don't have to go it alone and that is good.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate three times in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by erections at three separate intervals,with the third one being the worst.With the first two,I had to get up and use the bathroom on both of these occurrences and I simply went back to sleep as the erections died down as I was doing these things.The third one was worse than the other two as it was accompanied by sexual images of men clouding my mind, and I also started having flashbacks of my past acting outs with other men indulging in that sinful sexual activity.I really had to fight this as I almost gave into that temptation by grabbing my genitals,but managed to let go before I even started to masturbate it away.I really had to fight this terrible urge and use all the strength that I could muster to fight and resist this urge.After a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this triple whammy,I have to constantly keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It is never easy to fight the urge to give into this temptation and it gets even more difficult each time the more that I keep fighting and resisting the temptation.It is much easier to give into the temptation and indulge in sin,than it is to fight and resist the temptation.I simply have to keep relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the urge seems way too strong for me to handle.I just throw it on them and they take the lead.When I do,I feel much better and it it forgotten after that and if it happens again,I simply throw it on God through his son Jesus Christ's name again and I again feel better.It is never easy to fight and resist these urges,but with God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way,it shows that I don't have to act out nor give into any temptations.I simply rely on them and it is all over and done with when I do.Thanks again to God and his son Jesus Christ for all they do/
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had an improving self esteem group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to this group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there.On the way,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over and some talk with the leader,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple 1/2 gallons of orange juice.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the orange juice away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player to watch while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues unabated,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to struggle with and I am always in a continuous loop the loop when it comes to that.I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.Though it is a difficult thing to deal with,I still have God and his son Jesus Christ to rely on whenever it seems to become unbearable.It is never easy having any mental illness,but the struggle is a little lighter when God and Christ take control.I have to keep relying on them whenever it seems to difficult to handle or when it seems to go out of control.The more I keep doing that,the much better that I feel.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at two separate intervals in the wee early morning.These were both very overwhelming urges that I was having and I really had to fight to resist the temptation to give into both of these urges.With the first one,I simply got up and walked and as I did this,the erection softened and after I used the bathroom,which was the main reason why I got up in the first place,I simply laid back down and went back to sleep.With the second one,I simply tossed and turned hoping that it would soften as I didn't want to sin.It died down and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape these episodes,I still have to constantly keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to keep in mind that the temptation to sin can come whenever it is least expected to come.But again,when it happens,I relay on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this happens.I simply ask them to help strengthen me when it comes and I feel better.If I were to give into the urge,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,it is forgotten and I can move on.Thanks to God and his son Jesus Christ for taking the lead and for getting me through all of that.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my fight.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up into a suit and headed for the church for the Sunday morning worship service and the Holy Bible study class before the service.
Both the service and the class before it were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with everyone,I headed for home.
On my way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something for lunch.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my lunch and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did the dishes and relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.
My recovery continues unabated,but I am still struggling with the symptoms of BPD.It is really hard putting up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD symptoms.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still going to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more each and every day.It isn't easy putting up with what I got,but relying and trusting more on God and his son Jesus Christ makes it a little bit more bearable.I still have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory and I also still have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,but with God and Jesus Christ taking the lead,it shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes feel reassured.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at both intervals with erections out of a deep sleep.With the first one,I simply got up to use the bathroom and after I was finished,I went to sleep as a result of the erection dying down.With the second one,I simply attempted to get up by sitting straight and when I was about to get up to walk,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped these two episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it may be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I do get tempted to act out on a daily basis and they can take any form there is.Still,whenever that occurs,I can still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through the temptation.I simply talk about the temptation to them and after talking with them Tomorrow,I have an improving self esteem group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ