Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Earlier in the day,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
I also had one other thing on my agenda.I had my usual weekly meeting with the pastor of the church.It was a continuation of our one on one weekly studies to get me back into the church.The studies are almost finished and I am looking forward to the end where I am finally a member of the church again.
The meeting was wonderful as I got a lot out of that.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up something for myself.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is usually a very difficult thing to deal with and at times,I wish that I didn't have to.I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the BPD and that makes it even more difficult.I sometimes don't know whether I am coming or going.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I am also going to continue taking my medication as directed.While the recovery process is never an easy one,I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more when it seems to get unbearable.I simply talk to them about what I am going through and after that,I feel better.It doesn't make it easier,but relying on God and Jesus Christ more makes it more manageable.I do feel joy that I don't have to go it alone in my struggles with mental illness and that is wonderful.Thanks to God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming urge.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this temptation.I simply started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften.I had to use the bathroom anyway and after I was finished,I simply went back to sleep as the erection was now dead.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form of acting out it is,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation to act out can be very overwhelming.While that can be,I still rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on my own strength.With God and Christ leading the way and looking out for me,I have nothing to fear and when those nasty temptations come around,I simply turn them over to God and his son Jesus Christ and the temptations go away and are forgotten.If they come around again that same day,I simply take it to God and Christ again and it is history and long forgotten.The fight to resist the temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to Homosexuality is always a difficult one,but the fight can be won when God and Christ lead the way.Thanks again to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ