Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things on my agenda.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after that,I went over to another local store to pick up something that I needed for myself.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player,
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still in the battle for my life when it comes to handling my struggle with BPD as it is never an easy thing to struggle with.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and that is always a difficult thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I have to put up with hearing things and noises that nobody else hears.It is bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenic tendencies alongside that really makes it extremely difficult.I am still going to attend my therapy sessions and I am going to continue taking my medication as directed.I am learning that the struggle with mental illness is never an easy one.But as stated,I am learning that relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more when it may seem unbearable does help quite a bit.Whenever it seems to feel more unbearable than I can stand or take,I simply take it to God in prayer and I feel much better.I mean,therapy with another human can be helpful,but it really isn't enough.When I bring God and Christ in,it is even more helpful than what any human therapist can give.I am glad that they are there to listen and to help me when I ask for it.Without them,I would be lost and feeling discouraged.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection out of a deep sleep.It was also another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge to masturbate the erection away.I started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften and since I had to use the bathroom,the erection softened on the way there and after I was finished,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it may be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to keep constantly on guard and be watchful as that temptation can come when I am not aware that it is coming and when it does happen,I feel like I am stuck in the middle.Still,no matter when that happens,I simply can talk to God and his son Jesus Christ.All I do is throw the temptation on them and after that,it is gone and forgotten.If it comes back later on,I simply take it to God and his son Jesus Christ again and it is also gone and forgotten.I am now making it my resolution to always take it to God and Christ in prayer and I feel better.It is great that I am not alone in my fight and that God and Christ are there to take the lead and guide me through.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend and also,I am planning to have lunch over at a local kitchen.Aside from those things,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that the benefits that it gives are positive.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ