Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a day that I had only a little bit to do.Before anything,I had a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.It was only a little bit to do.After doing that,I did a scan on my computer and proceeded to get on with the day.
I went out to run a small errand for my mom and I also managed to stop at a few garage sales.I was surprised to see that there were some sales going on because the day wasn't too sunny and bright as it was yesterday.But I stopped to look around and there really wasn't much there for me to look for so I proceeded to finish the errand that I was doing for my mom.
I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some green onions that my mom needed for tonight's dinner.I was fortunate that they has some left because they had a sale on them.After paying for them,I headed for home but also stopped at another garage sale along the way.
When I got home,I went to check on my computer to see if the scan was done,which it wasn't.I simply watched a little bit of TV until it was done.It took several hours but when it was done,there were no security risks in my database.I will be doing more scans weekly to try and keep my computer safe from all risks.It is wonderful that everything was okay.
Before I ate,I bathed for a while to get cleaned up for tonight.I am going out to sing and I am hoping for a wonderful evening.Though I rarely have a bad night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.I do have the feeling that everything will work out but I hope.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am not feeling any depression right now.I am feeling good.I was feeling down for much of the week.It was a case of the sudden blues that happen when least expected.But tonight,I am feeling great and I am not feeling any sadness.I also feel confident that the night will go well.I am also feeling confident that I will have a great night singing.I also have a smile on my face as I am typing this.I hope that I can continue feeling this good.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.I have had no cravings or images creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having any tempation to watch pornography either.It is wonderful.Though I am feeling wonderful not to have any SSA issues today,I still have to be on guard.The cravings,images and the temptation to watch any pornography will come when least expected and I will have to deal with them when they strike.But I can smile and feel good because I now have the choice not to act out on the desires,including watching porn in any way,shape or form.It is great t0 have choices and to make the right ones.I am hoping that I can get through the rest of the weekend unscathed.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I didn't have too much to do.I had only a small load of laundry to pick up and when I was done,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped my personal stuff off and I headed back out.I went to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and to cash my paycheck at the bank.After the transactions,I headed back home.
When I got home,I immediately went online and I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site.It took me several minutes to get all of the bills on there and to have them stamped.I also waited for dinner to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work,which included posting my day on here.
I am feeling pretty good.I am not feeling any depression of any kind right now.I guess that with the day being a bright sunny day has something to do with it.Plus,the day went pretty well with nothing negative to report.I am hoping that the rest of the day goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I have had no images or cravings creep up into my mentality today.Plus,I have no desire to watch any pornography online.I am just feeling very elated as a result.I am hoping that the rest of the week goes by as well as today.
The weekend is finally here.I am already anticipating tomorrow night.I can hardly wait to go out and sing for my friends tomorrow night.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had.After dropping the clean laundry off,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped some things off at home and I headed back out.
I went to a local supermarket to get some food for dinner tonight.My mom and I wanted something different so I went out and bought a few things that we needed.I managed to find al most everything that I was looking for and after I paid for the stuff,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took it easy while finishing my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news and decided to go out for a while.I went to pay my brother in law a visit.He was working on a house that he would like to sell once he's finished.We talked for a while and when he went back in the house to finish the job,I headed back out.I drove for a while around the town and I stopped over at my sister's house to pay my niece and her kids a little visit.I didn't stay long and it was raining.After a few minutes,I headed back home.
I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I am also anticipating the new day tomorrow.Tomorrow is the day where all the TV stations are switching over to digital TV.But what I am anticipating is the day itself and not the changeover.I am hoping that the day goes well for me and that everything works for the better.
Though I am feeling okay,I am feeling depressed again.I have been feeling this way since I have been home from shopping.I started the day feeling pretty good but now,a sudden sadness has crept up.I don't know why I am feeling this way.I guess that since I am making a big step in wanting to let go of the anger that I have for my father and forgiving him for all the hurt that he has caused,I guess that I really don't know what to expect nor what to anticipate.I need some help and I really need some encouragement.If anyone out there can give me any insight on how I can go about this.I know that my visit with my father is still a long way off but I need to know how I can go about this in the proper way.Again,if anyone out there has any ideas,please share with me.Thanks.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I didn't have to contend with any images or cravings to act out.I also didn't watch any pornography today,though the temptation to watch is still there.Whenever I am feeling depressed,my temptation to watch porn is strong.I used to watch porn online as a "pick me up" whenever I was down,but I am trying to find alternate ways of being cheered up.I haven't watched any porn in several months but again,the temptation to watch porn is still there.I am not going to watch any porn because porn is not going to give me the fulfillment that I truly need.Pornography is trash.I have to continue keeping that in mind.I also have to keep reminding myself of all these things.Pornography is something that I truly don't need because aside from being garbage,it is also mental poison.I am just going to have to fight this temptation until it is dead.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up at the rehab center and I could take it to the work site and sort everything out.I also had lunch at work before heading straight home.
When I got home,I helped my mom sort out some laundry that we have been putting off for a long time.It was just a bunch of dirty clothes that we have been meaning to do.I took them to a local laundromat and had them done.It took a few hours but I got them done.
After they were done,I put the clean clothes in a clean laundry bag that I had bought and I headed straight home.
After sorting out the clothes,I put them away and I waited for dinner to get done.While doing that,I registered a five dollar bill at the Where's George site and tried to get some more personal PC work done but I was having some issues.The browser kept having to reboot itself each and every time I tried to do the work.I restarted the computer several times before I could finally get the work done.
After eating,I decided to post here and share my day.It was a pretty good day and I was glad to have done the things that I did to get by.I was glad to get a lot accomplished.
Though I am feeling okay,I am feeling a little bit sad.I had heard about the tragedy at the Holocuast Museum in the nation's capitol.A gunmen,who is a white supremicist,shot and killed a guard.It was also hard to believe that a man in his 80's would do such a thing.I feel bad for the families of both the guard and the gunmen.It is just sad when an innocent person gets murdered for no particular reason.There is also no excuse for murder.I am hoping that both the families will get through this.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.My mentality was not clouded with any images nor did I have any cravings to act out.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.I simply did my job in the amount of time that I had and when the day was over,I dropped the laundry off at the rehab center and I headed straight home.
When I got home,my mom got ready to do a little bit of shopping.She wanted to buy a few things for my grand-niece for her birthday and while she did that,I went to a local laundromat to dry my underwear,which only took 1/2 an hour.
After that,I went to pick my mom up from shopping and I also went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things there.After we were both done,we both headed straight home.
When we got home,my mom prepared dinner and I finished my personal PC work.It was a lot and despite a couple of issues with the browser,I got it done.
After eating,I registered a few bills at the Where's George site.I am also going to spend them in a minute after I am done here.
Though I am feeling okay,I am also feeling a little bit depressed.Why?Because I am going to be making a big step soon.I am making the step of letting go of my anger for my father and forgiving my father for all the hurt that he caused.At the moment,I really don't know how to go about this.I am still seeking answers and I am hoping to get them soon so I will know what to do.I am also hoping that it will work out.This is going to be a big step and I am hoping that everything works out for the better.I don't want to hold on to this anger anymore.I have become enslaved to this anger and I no longer want to be.Again,I am hoping that everything will work out for the better.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode early this morning.An image crept up into my mind while I was still sleeping and it woke me up out of a deep sleep.After getting out of bed and going to the bathroom,I went back to bed to sleep a little bit more and there were no problems.I hope that I can get through tonight and tomorrow without a problem.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I hope that the pick up goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I still had quite a bit to do.Firstly,I ate quickly and I did my personal PC work.It only took me almost an hour to do.I was glad to get it done.
After I ate lunch,I got cleaned up and dressed and I went to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.
The session went well.We talked about anger and the issues that lead me to have the anger that I have.We also did an activity from a workbook that she had and it was pretty rewarding work.I left the session as if a 1,000 ton weight had been lifted off of me.We are going to continue discussing this at the next session.I am also going to work on this assignment during the time being so I can prepare ahead of time.After the session,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to lay down while waiting for dinner to get done.While waiting,I listened to a free CD that I received today,which is about how to overcome depression and anxiety.It was pretty inspiring and I am looking forward to overcoming these things.
After eating,I went back to the anger management group that I hadn't been too in a long time.It was wonderful to be amongst that group again.I told them about me wanting to let go of anger that I have towards my father and they wished me the best of success in this.I also informed them that I am thinking of going to visit with him in the near future.They did advise me that it would be better for me to stay elsewhere rather than at his house as a result of what he had done to me years ago.I said that I would take that into consideration and think about it.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
Last night,I had a talk with my father.It was the second consecutive conversation that I had with him.It was a very pleasant conversation and we talked about my upcoming visit to him in the near future and he shared with me some information that I have to keep in mind when I go to the bus station to aquire a schedule of which cities in the state where he lives in are nearby him.Again,it was a pleasant conversation and after I hung up,I felt better that I did talk with him after I avoided talking with him for over a year.I talked with him last week also.I need to let go of the anger that I have for him.I need to let go,forgive him but not condone the wrong that he did.It isn't going to be easy but I do have to do that.It is about time that I did.I wanted to do it a long time ago but didn't know how.Now,I am learning how.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.Nothing crept up into my mentality today.No cravings or images.I also had no desire to view any pornography.I feel pretty good as a result.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,when I got up out of bed,I had a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.It also took a bit of doing because I was having issues.The internet browser kept freezing and rebooting itself for a short time.Despite these issues,I managed to get it done and I was relieved.At the moment,there are no issues and I am hoping that nothing happens while I am typing here.
After doing that work,I proceeded to get on with my day.I had only one small errand to run.I had to get several things that my mom needed and I went out to get them.
When I arrived at the local Dollar General store,I had no problem getting everything.I was fortunate that they had everything in stock and after paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took everything out of the grocery bags and my mom and I put everything away.After that,I relaxed for a bit and I went for a walk while my mom laid down and read from her book.
After I was done walking,I went upstairs and made my bed.I also laid donw and looked through a book that I have until dinner was ready.
After eating,I watched some of the evening news and I decided to post my day on here.It was a pretty good day and I am glad that I did the things that I did.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.I even managed to fit in a couple more songs.They were also having an anniversary party there and the party was really great.They had pizza and it was delicious.I had fun and I also had a friend along for this and it was even more fun.
Earlier today,I had the temptation to visit an online pornographic site.When this happened,I decided not to give into the urge to watch and I closed the internet off entirely.I didn't go on the computer for several hours.I wanted the temptation to die down before I went back on again.Right now,I am not tempted nor do I have the desire to view any pornography online.I did escape this one but I still need to be on guard when the temptation comes around again.The temptation to look at porn can be very strong.But I do have a choice.I can choose not to look at any pornography and just get off the computer when the temptation comes around.I also have to keep in mind that pornography is garbage.It is mental garbage.Not only that,I have to keep remembering that my same-sex emotional needs are not going to fulfilled by watching pornography in any way,shape or form.Again,pornography is garbage and it is also useless.There is really no purpose for pornography at any time.I have to continue to keep these things in mind.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to watch and view pornography online was my struggle today.Plus,I was also having the craving to act out on my desires because watching porn is a way of acting out.Though I did make the choice not to watch it,I still have to remember that there is NO purpose for porn.Porn is simply trash that I don't need.It just debases and degrades the effects of anything sexual,which,in themselves,are quite beautiful.Pornography makes anything sexual look ugly.Again,I do have to keep reminding myself of all these things to stay up and alert to any temptations.Right now,I have no craving to look at porn and I am glad.I can now get through the rest of the evening feeling pretty good about myself.Tomorrow is a fresh start and I am hoping to get through the week without any problems.
I am also thinking of calling my father and talking with him for a while.It is time that I started to let go of the anger that I feel for him.If anyone out there has any ideas on how I can do that,please share.Thanks.
As for the rest of the evening,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the gang over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great talks with them.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well for me.I also have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ