Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,if uneventful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since we were having a rainstorm today,which was a continuation of last night's torrential and terrible thunderstorm,I chose to stay home and take it easy for much of the day and also,catch up on some much needed work around the house and also,on some reading.I also popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,if uneventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to help me endure and get through all of the negatives.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ for these things and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and chose to walk for a bit and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I decided to get out of bed in the later early morning hours when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men were clouding my mind at the same time.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my heaven;y Father wiped the slate clean.I was still tempted pretty much throughout the day as I went through the rest of the day.Only this time,though it is still a work in progress,I had to let the unnatural sexual desires that I have that they don't own me.I have to stay strong and let them know that I own them and not the other way around.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I continually asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished each time,I felt stronger and I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I am doing this and will still continue to work on this as the days roll on,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I really need your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket's customer service desk to pay on the electric bill.After that,I turned some bottles and cans in that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and after that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.As usual today,as it has been for the last few days,it was hazy hot and humid.I did everything in my power to try and stay cool,but I still sweated a lot and still felt hot.Right now,we are in the midst of a torrential and terrible thunderstorm.It is raining,thundering and windy.I was fortunate to have been in the house instead of being outside.Then again,after I did all that I had to do,I had really nothing else to do,but just stay in the house and take it easy.We are supposed to have rain tomorrow as well and I am just going to stay home and catch up on some much needed work that needs to be done around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seemingly gets way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to get the better of me,I simply pray about it and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through and to help me endure and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect,but it lead to orgasm and subsequent climax.It was also to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and I gave into the fantasizing and lusting of them.I really felt miserable after that and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I also begged for his mercy as well as I was truly repentant.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and again,I begged for his mercy.Though I did this,before I went to sleep last night,I talked with my Heavenly Father for over twenty minutes and I really poured my soul and myself out to him.I admitted everything that I had done and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything that I had to tell him and after that over twenty minutes of prayer,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and actually understood me.I actually felt something while praying last night and it gave me a wonderful feeling of reassurance.I also slept better last night as well.While I have done that and still continue to do so,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need all of your prayers and your encouraging to help keep me going in this struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money so I can pay my electric bill tomorrow.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the money that I withdrew at Where's George and after that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.I also had to put up with the hazy,hot and humid temps again for the third straight day.I am hoping that relief comes soon as I feel that we truly need it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and keep me calm and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a very calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both mu Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and I wound up ejaculating as well.I was really miserable when that happened and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning against him by giving into the immoral impulses that I had last night.I did sleep soundly for the rest of the night and nothing happened while I was sleeping,except waking up to another erection when the wee early morning hours were still upon the time.I also was still tempted through the day to continue indulging and I kept up in prayer as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I kept asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I did feel stronger after doing that.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,I would appreciate some encouraging words of support in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouragement to help keep me going and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of paying the electric bill,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and spent the rest of the day trying to get through this intense heat and humidity that I and the rest of the hometown are enduring.It is hazy,hot and humid here in my neck of the woods.The temps are in the lower 90's,but with the humidity,it feels like that it was almost 100 degrees.I got dressed to get out and run an errand that I had to run,despite the fact that it was hazy,hot and humid.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to go to a local store to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to a local McDonald's to get myself a vanilla cone and after having that in the coolness of the restaurant,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was and how he was handling the heat and humidity and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and sat all day around the house in my underpants while fans were running continuously.I haven't endured this much haziness,heat and humidity in years.I simply sat around almost naked trying to stay cool,though I was sweating some during the day and as a result of that,I kept drinking water like if it was going out of style.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and walked back and forth around the room until the erection died down and when it did,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit during the day,but for most of the day,I simply concentrated on surviving this intense heat and humidity that I have been enduring and also,been sweating pretty much while concentrating on surviving.While the temptations haven't been coming up on me as much,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a rough time.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.Thanks again in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from those things,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and as the morning went on,I got dressed up to prepare for my job interview today.I was really thrilled that I finally got a call to be interviewed for a job.The job placement counselor picked me up and we headed for the office where the interview was to be conducted.
The interview went great and the job placement counselor said that I gave very excellent answers.After it was over,he dropped me off at home and I got out of my fancy clothes and into my normal casual clothes as I had quite a few things to do today.
After dropping off some newspapers at a few houses,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I also helped my next door neighbor out with something and when I was finished,I went back into my house to relax.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals softened and when they were,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I must say that for the first time in quite a while,I wasn't tempted as much as I have been in the last few days.I guess the enthusiasm of my job interview going good was what took my mind off of my SSA struggles and again,not much temptation today.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I got a call for a job interview that will be done tomorrow.I am looking forward to this and I am hoping that it will lead to something.I also let the job placement people know about this as well and I am hoping that they can help me out in anything during the interview.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital and I headed for there.
The session with her went great and after getting my prescription,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the bank to withdraw a few dollars.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy while catching up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get through all the negative rigamarole of this double whammy of a psychiatric disorder that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I feel a little bit better knowing that they are there leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and that is what made the erection start to soften and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came at me from all sides.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I asked for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt stronger and more at ease as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and also,he gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in regards to this particular struggle,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a difficult emotional period in my life and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle and strength my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an interview for a job and I am hoping that everything goes well.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local bargain closeout store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I decided to take a drive around the city to see how everything was doing and when I couldn't find anything going on,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the negative emotions and emotionally stressful period that this type of psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I got up out of bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.My genitals were fully softened after I was finished in the bathroom and I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men tried to take over my mind.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations because they were very overwhelming.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I felt much better and also,much stronger as I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to pray for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I also need some words of encouragement as well alongside your prayers.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of seeing the nurse practitioner,I have not made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ