Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,if uneventful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since we were having a rainstorm today,which was a continuation of last night's torrential and terrible thunderstorm,I chose to stay home and take it easy for much of the day and also,catch up on some much needed work around the house and also,on some reading.I also popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,if uneventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to help me endure and get through all of the negatives.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ for these things and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and chose to walk for a bit and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I decided to get out of bed in the later early morning hours when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men were clouding my mind at the same time.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my heaven;y Father wiped the slate clean.I was still tempted pretty much throughout the day as I went through the rest of the day.Only this time,though it is still a work in progress,I had to let the unnatural sexual desires that I have that they don't own me.I have to stay strong and let them know that I own them and not the other way around.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I continually asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished each time,I felt stronger and I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I am doing this and will still continue to work on this as the days roll on,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I really need your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ