Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed for the bank to withdraw a little bit of much needed money.After that,I got a little bit of gas and after that,I looked around the local Salvation Army thrift store to see what they had and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I watched a couple more holiday DVDs as I want to watch them all before the Holiday Season ends for this year.After that,I listened to a little music and later on,I started to prepare a can of soup for dinner.After eating that,I watched another holiday themed DVD and did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for turning in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Tonight,I went into prayer to my Heavenly Father as I was really being overwhelmed by temptations and also,by obsession styled thoughts of other men.I prayed real hard almost to the point where I was almost in tears.I asked my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me break free and to help me overcome these things.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I confessed also all the sins that I fell into today and talked about the obsession that I have.I asked him for help in breaking free from this obsession and also to help me fight all of these overwhelming things.I also begged and pleaded for my Heavenly Father to be merciful towards me because of my repeated falls into sin today.When I was finished praying,I felt better and also,I felt,and best of all,I believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that the slate was wiped clean.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I truly and desperately need your prayerful and positive verbal support.I still need to be both reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle and I need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things to do today.
I first dropped off a Christmas card at a friend's place and after that,I went to check up on another friend who I hadn't heard from in quite a while.After spending time with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby pizza place for a late lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and I did some more personal PC work.After that,I watched a little TV and when I was finished with that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a few more holiday specials on DVD.I still have some that I haven't watched yet and the Holiday Season will be over in a few days and I want to make sure that I watch all of them before it ends.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my turning in for the night.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,I gave into the subsequent temptation to fantasize and lust after these images.I felt really terrible and heart broken at this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and also begged for my Heavenly Father to be merciful to me for falling into sin.I prayed hard and I left nothing out as I laid everything down that I did.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.Admittedly,I feel like a total basket case whenever I give into these terrible temptations constantly,as I feel that I am failing my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever I do fall into sin by giving into these terrible urges that I don't want to give into anymore at all.I really need to start getting tough on myself.I have to start telling myself "NO" when the cravings to indulge in fantasies and lusting come around,alongside the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these images.Again,I am hoping that the big step that I take in regards to my therapy will help make a lot of difference.I am hoping that finally letting go of all the anger,resentment and trauma issues that have been unresolved for a long time will help me.I think that these unresolved issues after being let go so I can transcend and start to really heal and finally overcome this terrible SSA will be a big help.I also need to learn to start trusting others again as I also have trust issues.I want to be able to trust others,especially other members of my own gender,so I can also learn to accept other men as they are,including their intrinsic maleness and to also accept my own intrinsic maleness.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I am still in need of both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I also need your prayers as I am about to undertake this big step that I will be making in therapy come this coming Tuesday.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Merry Christmas,everyone.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful holiday today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Christmas worship service.
The worship service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship when the service was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed for my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner,though light,at my niece's house was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my pajamas since I wasn't going to go anywhere.I was planning on getting together with a friend today,but they called and canceled saying that one of their family members got hurt in a car accident and their dinner didn't turn out like it should have.I was disappointed,but negative stuff happens.I simply relaxed and watched a few holiday specials on DVD.After that,I had a bowl of soup and a hot pocket and laid down for a bit.Later on,I made plans to turn in for the night.Overall,despite the disappointment,a wonderful and eventful holiday today.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I will start sharing where I am in my struggles tomorrow as I was pretty busy celebrating and catching up with other things.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't got anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I went to a local supermarket to get a spray can of whipped cream.After that,I headed for a local convenience store to pick up a light lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my light lunch while watching a holiday themed DVD.After that,I watched another one and when that was over,I watched some TV.After that,I did some more personal PC work and when that was done,I prepared to heat up a can of soup for a light meal and after I was finished,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for church for the Christmas Eve evening service.
The service was wonderful and after some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into pajamas and I watched a few more holiday themed DVD's before turning in for the night.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I will start reporting on where I am at in my struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA after the Christmas holiday period id over with.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,since it will be the Christmas holiday,I will be attending church in the morning and having Christmas dinner with my family first and then,I will be spending time with a few friends.
That was my day today and my plans for the Christmas holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly just to wash my hair and face,alongside shaving.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed while watching some holiday themed DVD's.After that,I watched some old TV reruns.Later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a few more holiday themed DVD's and later on,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,though it is,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still have to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions will use everything in their power to tempt me to go against my Heavenly Father's perfect law.They can also strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as I need this as much as I need your prayerful support.Your support not only helps keep me going,but also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church in the evening,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and since I had no place to go and nothing to do,I stayed home and I watched a couple more holiday themed DVD's.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.After that,I watched a little bit of TV.After that,I did some more personal PC work.
I had a light meal tonight and when I was finished eating,I watched a few more holiday themed DVD's.As the evening was getting later,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Right now,within the next week,I will be starting my new therapy.I will be meeting with a psychiatrist at a rehab center next Tuesday.I am hoping that this new therapy will work out for me.I need to let go of the unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues that have been holding me back from getting the real healing that I so desperately need.I am a little nervous,though it is a week away.I am hoping that I can finally let go of the unresolved negative issues in my life so I can transcend and start to discover the real healing that I desperately need.I am also hoping that it will stop the constant harassment of sexual images of men clouding my mind when least expected and that the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men will also stop.I have begun to realize that these are the issues that have been holding me back and that is why I get plagued by the repeated sexual images.Due to the unresolved negative issues,I have been held back from the real healing I need to finally start becoming the man that I am meant to be and to finally have my true identity,which is man/male,finally come to the surface.Of course,I also still need to rely on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ as I can't attain these things without them taking the lead and leading me away from all of this negative stuff.I also need to get the trust issues resolved so I can start trusting people again as that also has been holding me back from feeling the positive feelings that I need to feel in order to feel loved,appreciated and also,trusting of others.I am learning little by little,but I am hoping to get a lot out of life after I let go and transcend.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.It's very important to me.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship where everyone thanked me for the Christmas cards that I sent them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit and I called my former brother in-law to install a new knob on my toilet.He came here and did the job and after he was finished,he left.I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to watch a holiday themed DVD and when that was finished,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched another holiday themed DVD and when that was over,I watched another one.I did some more personal PC work after that.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.No sexual images of men clouded my mind and I wasn't tempted to manipulate my private parts in any way.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike at any time when least expected and I still have to stay on guard and be watchful for them.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I constantly need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please continue to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ