Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a small thing planned for today.
Today,since the weather wasn't too decent,I decided to simply go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while listening to a little music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,despite it being a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of Christ Jesus,his son,and after that,I feel a tad better as a result.It shows that I don't have to go it alone in this struggle and that is great.It is wonderful that I can talk about this with God and his son and feel a little bit better knowing that they are there to help me out and keep me sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I simply turned on my right side and the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Later on,in the later morning,I gave into temptation by starting to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to go to the point of orgasm and stop and yes,there was some lusting involved,but I stopped myself and I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that I felt better.Though I escaped the early morning episode and I was forgiven by God for that later giving into temptation,I still have to keep in mind that Satan is on the rampage when it comes to getting people to disobey God's perfect laws and simply indulge in all the sexual sin that the world,including that so called "Gay" lifestyle,has to offer.I am always fighting these urges to sin and though I did stop myself from one incident earlier,I have to try to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me escape these dreaded and terrible urges.I have to keep in mind that God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that they world is using and abusing it.I have to really ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these urges.A wise man once said that "It takes more strength to ask for help in how to resist a sinful habit rather than go it alone and hope for the best".,or something like that and I have to keep that in mind.I am now going to constantly ask God and Christ to help me resist these terrible urges.I really need all the help and strength that only they can give.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and again,I will be asking for help constantly to beat these dirty and unclean habits and kick them to the curb once and for all.I am also requesting prayers from those who regularly read my blog.Thanks in advance for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Friday, October 12, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though rocky,continues to move on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment to meet with some people who want to prepare me for living on my own and hopefully,find a good lawyer that isn't too costly so I can transfer the house in my name and continue living in the house on my own.My sister who lives locally was also a part of the talk with them and we all talked about how we are going to work all of this out.
The meeting went pretty good and wasn't too long at all,either.After the meeting was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move on,it is still a rocky road.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that with the territory.I never how my emotions,in particular my moods,will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the lead and helping me deal with all the psychological aspects of having any type of mental disorder.It is great that they are there to help me and that I am not alone here.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection died down and I was able to sleep the rest of the night.Though I did escape this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and at times,the fight might even try to wear me out.I will never give Satan what he wants.He wants me to surrender to these desires and act out on them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I am simply going to try and continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles gets really overwhelming and the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have is also really overwhelming.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do sin by giving into ant type of temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the sin is forgiven and forgotten and I move on.I am still requesting that prayers be said on my behalf so I can continue to fight and win with God's help.Prayers of all kinds are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment to meet with some people who want to prepare me for living on my own and hopefully,find a good lawyer that isn't too costly so I can transfer the house in my name and continue living in the house on my own.My sister who lives locally was also a part of the talk with them and we all talked about how we are going to work all of this out.
The meeting went pretty good and wasn't too long at all,either.After the meeting was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move on,it is still a rocky road.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that with the territory.I never how my emotions,in particular my moods,will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the lead and helping me deal with all the psychological aspects of having any type of mental disorder.It is great that they are there to help me and that I am not alone here.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection died down and I was able to sleep the rest of the night.Though I did escape this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and at times,the fight might even try to wear me out.I will never give Satan what he wants.He wants me to surrender to these desires and act out on them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I am simply going to try and continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles gets really overwhelming and the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have is also really overwhelming.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do sin by giving into ant type of temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the sin is forgiven and forgotten and I move on.I am still requesting that prayers be said on my behalf so I can continue to fight and win with God's help.Prayers of all kinds are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which I was looking forward to.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while and even listened to a little bit of music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never and easy thing to deal with.I never know how I will be emotions or mood wise from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.The struggle is still a very difficult one,but with God and Christ taking the lead,it is a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep when it did.Later on,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and then stopping and that was the toughest one to resist.I did escape both of these episodes,but the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many forms and I have to stay on guard and be watchful whenever they start to come around.I never know what form that the temptation takes and I have to be watchful as I never know how it will be.I will continue to also rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations seem to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and after that,my sins are forgiven,forgotten and I can move on.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with somebody in regards to getting legal help in regards to the house that I am living in.As for teh rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which I was looking forward to.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while and even listened to a little bit of music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never and easy thing to deal with.I never know how I will be emotions or mood wise from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.The struggle is still a very difficult one,but with God and Christ taking the lead,it is a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep when it did.Later on,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and then stopping and that was the toughest one to resist.I did escape both of these episodes,but the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many forms and I have to stay on guard and be watchful whenever they start to come around.I never know what form that the temptation takes and I have to be watchful as I never know how it will be.I will continue to also rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations seem to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and after that,my sins are forgiven,forgotten and I can move on.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with somebody in regards to getting legal help in regards to the house that I am living in.As for teh rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had to stop at a local aid office to drop off an aid application in hopes of getting additional aid that I really need and also to discuss other things that I had to talk about.After meeting with them,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and listened to some music and watch a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery moves on,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of sharing how I feel or anything else with God and Christ and their help in making me feel more stable and sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated.It was terrible.I really felt down for a while and also ashamed of myself as a result of this fall.This was the second fall for me in the last few days.I don't know what could be wrong with me as I am falling left and right.I asked God to forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ and I did feel better afterwards.I am just going to have to try and work harder at going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for even more help.I am also asking for prayers by those who continue to follow my blog and read the posts that I write here.Please pray for me everyone who follows this blog of mine as I really need then right now.I would really appreciate them.Thanks to all of you in advance for them.I will try and do my part as well.Thanks again.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend and I also plan to stop at a local kitchen for lunch.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had to stop at a local aid office to drop off an aid application in hopes of getting additional aid that I really need and also to discuss other things that I had to talk about.After meeting with them,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and listened to some music and watch a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery moves on,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of sharing how I feel or anything else with God and Christ and their help in making me feel more stable and sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated.It was terrible.I really felt down for a while and also ashamed of myself as a result of this fall.This was the second fall for me in the last few days.I don't know what could be wrong with me as I am falling left and right.I asked God to forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ and I did feel better afterwards.I am just going to have to try and work harder at going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for even more help.I am also asking for prayers by those who continue to follow my blog and read the posts that I write here.Please pray for me everyone who follows this blog of mine as I really need then right now.I would really appreciate them.Thanks to all of you in advance for them.I will try and do my part as well.Thanks again.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend and I also plan to stop at a local kitchen for lunch.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
Tonight,though still rocky,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had an appointment to meet with a caseworker at a local office.The appointment was prepared for me ahead of time a few days ago and I was looking forward to this.I headed over to the local office.Before that,I went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.
The meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.It is a very complex ride of emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult as I am always putting up with hearing things or sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and Christ for all of their help.I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggle with any type of mental disorder is never an easy one,especially when you are someone,such as myself,with the diagnosis that I have.It is never an easy thing to deal with,but talking about the struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ does make it a tad easier as they help in keeping me more at ease so I don't go up the wall(so to speak)or goo beyond any more that I can bear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help as they give strength beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks again to both God and Christ.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was very overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.After it did,I laid down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still getting tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways.There are lots of ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out on the unnatural desires that they have and it is not just going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.A person who struggles with SSA can get tempted to masturbate or to watch porn or both.They can also get tempted to fantasize with or lust after other members of their own gender.The ways are very numerous.I get tempted to do all of these things and it is never an easy thing to deal with when temptation knocks on the spiritual door to get anyone to act out on the unnatural desires that one has when struggling with SSA.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for it's own good.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking for help in resisting the temptation.After that,I can move on as the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of Jesus Christ too forgive me and after that,I feel better as my sin is forgotten by God as the slate is wiped clean.God forgives over and over as he and his son are both very loving indeed.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had an appointment to meet with a caseworker at a local office.The appointment was prepared for me ahead of time a few days ago and I was looking forward to this.I headed over to the local office.Before that,I went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.
The meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.It is a very complex ride of emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult as I am always putting up with hearing things or sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and Christ for all of their help.I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggle with any type of mental disorder is never an easy one,especially when you are someone,such as myself,with the diagnosis that I have.It is never an easy thing to deal with,but talking about the struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ does make it a tad easier as they help in keeping me more at ease so I don't go up the wall(so to speak)or goo beyond any more that I can bear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help as they give strength beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks again to both God and Christ.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was very overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.After it did,I laid down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still getting tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways.There are lots of ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out on the unnatural desires that they have and it is not just going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.A person who struggles with SSA can get tempted to masturbate or to watch porn or both.They can also get tempted to fantasize with or lust after other members of their own gender.The ways are very numerous.I get tempted to do all of these things and it is never an easy thing to deal with when temptation knocks on the spiritual door to get anyone to act out on the unnatural desires that one has when struggling with SSA.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for it's own good.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking for help in resisting the temptation.After that,I can move on as the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of Jesus Christ too forgive me and after that,I feel better as my sin is forgotten by God as the slate is wiped clean.God forgives over and over as he and his son are both very loving indeed.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, October 08, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to go as it goes.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first called the garage to get an estimate on car repair as I need to get it repaired in order for it to pass inspection.After getting that,I called my niece up to see how she was doing as she has been sick for a while.She said that she still wasn't feeling good and I offered to do her grocery shopping for her as a favor as I had nothing else to do as a result of it being a holiday and I didn't have a group to go to.She really appreciated the offer and I went and did the shopping.
Before heading for the store to do the shopping,I left a note for a friend who I have been trying to get a a hold of,but keep getting their voice mail,with me asking them to call me the minute that they read the note.After that,I did the shopping.
After the shopping was done,I headed back home to put all the groceries away and after I did that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.Since I had no group meeting today,I felt that it was a good way to loosen up and enjoy myself.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go as it goes,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never an easy thing to deal with,which can get pretty tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as direction.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.With them leading the way,I feel better and I feel more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating early this morning.It was mostly emotional,though there was also a little bit of lusting involved as well.After the fall,I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as a result of me being forgiven and that the slate is wiped clean by God,who forgets all sins confessed as he forgives them.As a result of a death in my family,my emotions are really in a tizzy as a result of it.Plus,I am thinking more and more about sinful stuff as I am now in this state of utter emotional disarray.The only thing that I really regretted as that I didn't go to God in the name of his only begotten son Christ Jesus when I was being tempted.Don't get me wrong,I do sincerely believe that I am forgiven for my sins and I am not going to dwell on the failure.But I have to learn to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I am being tempted to act out in many ways.I am asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading the posts.I really needs prayers and support right now as I am desperately trying to get out of this emotional rut that I am currently in.Please pray for me as I am going through all of this.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.Thanks to all of you in advance for prayers offered.I also ask that you pray that I go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am being tempted.Thansk again in advance for prayers offered and all the support that I can get.
Tomorrow,I will be meeting with a case worker to help me fill out an aid application and also,to help me get the aid that I desperately need.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first called the garage to get an estimate on car repair as I need to get it repaired in order for it to pass inspection.After getting that,I called my niece up to see how she was doing as she has been sick for a while.She said that she still wasn't feeling good and I offered to do her grocery shopping for her as a favor as I had nothing else to do as a result of it being a holiday and I didn't have a group to go to.She really appreciated the offer and I went and did the shopping.
Before heading for the store to do the shopping,I left a note for a friend who I have been trying to get a a hold of,but keep getting their voice mail,with me asking them to call me the minute that they read the note.After that,I did the shopping.
After the shopping was done,I headed back home to put all the groceries away and after I did that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.Since I had no group meeting today,I felt that it was a good way to loosen up and enjoy myself.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go as it goes,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never an easy thing to deal with,which can get pretty tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as direction.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.With them leading the way,I feel better and I feel more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating early this morning.It was mostly emotional,though there was also a little bit of lusting involved as well.After the fall,I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as a result of me being forgiven and that the slate is wiped clean by God,who forgets all sins confessed as he forgives them.As a result of a death in my family,my emotions are really in a tizzy as a result of it.Plus,I am thinking more and more about sinful stuff as I am now in this state of utter emotional disarray.The only thing that I really regretted as that I didn't go to God in the name of his only begotten son Christ Jesus when I was being tempted.Don't get me wrong,I do sincerely believe that I am forgiven for my sins and I am not going to dwell on the failure.But I have to learn to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I am being tempted to act out in many ways.I am asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading the posts.I really needs prayers and support right now as I am desperately trying to get out of this emotional rut that I am currently in.Please pray for me as I am going through all of this.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.Thanks to all of you in advance for prayers offered.I also ask that you pray that I go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am being tempted.Thansk again in advance for prayers offered and all the support that I can get.
Tomorrow,I will be meeting with a case worker to help me fill out an aid application and also,to help me get the aid that I desperately need.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, October 07, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.Now that I am a member of the church again,I had my first communion and it was wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with all the other members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a couple cans of soup.After paying for them.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch of the soup and after eating lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did the dishes and straightened out my bed as well as made it.I laid down for a while and I listened to some music.I just wanted to relax and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to move forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or any emotions that I have will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still in therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.Even when it might seem to be getting too difficult for me to handle,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever that happens.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also ask for help in sustaining me from it all and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of talking with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and letting them keep me at ease and under their good care.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and their help in sustaining me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and while doing that,the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that I will be tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The temptation,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and the war at times can get ugly.There are also times that I feel like surrendering to these desires and go out and act out on them,but I willfully choose not to do that.Why?Because that is what Satan wants me to do.Satan wants me to abandon what God has set forth in his law and go out and live my life as the unnatural desires that I have want me to.When that happens,I turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to keep me on the path to restoration and also,to keep me in his word and to help me keep to his natural and perfect law for mankind through his sacred and blessed word,the Holy Bible.I simply throw any temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and my sin is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,since it is a holiday and I have no group,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.Now that I am a member of the church again,I had my first communion and it was wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with all the other members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a couple cans of soup.After paying for them.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch of the soup and after eating lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did the dishes and straightened out my bed as well as made it.I laid down for a while and I listened to some music.I just wanted to relax and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to move forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or any emotions that I have will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still in therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.Even when it might seem to be getting too difficult for me to handle,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever that happens.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also ask for help in sustaining me from it all and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of talking with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and letting them keep me at ease and under their good care.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and their help in sustaining me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and while doing that,the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that I will be tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The temptation,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and the war at times can get ugly.There are also times that I feel like surrendering to these desires and go out and act out on them,but I willfully choose not to do that.Why?Because that is what Satan wants me to do.Satan wants me to abandon what God has set forth in his law and go out and live my life as the unnatural desires that I have want me to.When that happens,I turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to keep me on the path to restoration and also,to keep me in his word and to help me keep to his natural and perfect law for mankind through his sacred and blessed word,the Holy Bible.I simply throw any temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and my sin is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,since it is a holiday and I have no group,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the day ahead.FJ
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