Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a small thing planned for today.
Today,since the weather wasn't too decent,I decided to simply go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while listening to a little music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,despite it being a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of Christ Jesus,his son,and after that,I feel a tad better as a result.It shows that I don't have to go it alone in this struggle and that is great.It is wonderful that I can talk about this with God and his son and feel a little bit better knowing that they are there to help me out and keep me sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I simply turned on my right side and the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Later on,in the later morning,I gave into temptation by starting to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to go to the point of orgasm and stop and yes,there was some lusting involved,but I stopped myself and I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that I felt better.Though I escaped the early morning episode and I was forgiven by God for that later giving into temptation,I still have to keep in mind that Satan is on the rampage when it comes to getting people to disobey God's perfect laws and simply indulge in all the sexual sin that the world,including that so called "Gay" lifestyle,has to offer.I am always fighting these urges to sin and though I did stop myself from one incident earlier,I have to try to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me escape these dreaded and terrible urges.I have to keep in mind that God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that they world is using and abusing it.I have to really ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these urges.A wise man once said that "It takes more strength to ask for help in how to resist a sinful habit rather than go it alone and hope for the best".,or something like that and I have to keep that in mind.I am now going to constantly ask God and Christ to help me resist these terrible urges.I really need all the help and strength that only they can give.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and again,I will be asking for help constantly to beat these dirty and unclean habits and kick them to the curb once and for all.I am also requesting prayers from those who regularly read my blog.Thanks in advance for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ