Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which I was looking forward to.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while and even listened to a little bit of music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never and easy thing to deal with.I never know how I will be emotions or mood wise from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.The struggle is still a very difficult one,but with God and Christ taking the lead,it is a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep when it did.Later on,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and then stopping and that was the toughest one to resist.I did escape both of these episodes,but the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many forms and I have to stay on guard and be watchful whenever they start to come around.I never know what form that the temptation takes and I have to be watchful as I never know how it will be.I will continue to also rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations seem to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and after that,my sins are forgiven,forgotten and I can move on.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with somebody in regards to getting legal help in regards to the house that I am living in.As for teh rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ