Tonight,my road to recovery,though rocky,continues to move on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment to meet with some people who want to prepare me for living on my own and hopefully,find a good lawyer that isn't too costly so I can transfer the house in my name and continue living in the house on my own.My sister who lives locally was also a part of the talk with them and we all talked about how we are going to work all of this out.
The meeting went pretty good and wasn't too long at all,either.After the meeting was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move on,it is still a rocky road.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that with the territory.I never how my emotions,in particular my moods,will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the lead and helping me deal with all the psychological aspects of having any type of mental disorder.It is great that they are there to help me and that I am not alone here.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection died down and I was able to sleep the rest of the night.Though I did escape this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and at times,the fight might even try to wear me out.I will never give Satan what he wants.He wants me to surrender to these desires and act out on them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I am simply going to try and continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles gets really overwhelming and the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have is also really overwhelming.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do sin by giving into ant type of temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the sin is forgiven and forgotten and I move on.I am still requesting that prayers be said on my behalf so I can continue to fight and win with God's help.Prayers of all kinds are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ