Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to print something important.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby office surplus store to make copies of my resume.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation during the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away and yes,I was lusting and fantasizing after other men while I did that.I felt so miserable after falling and I hated it that I did.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that my sins were forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I did keep busy throughout the rest of the day as I was out of the house for much of the day.I simply kept busy and through the rest of the day,I didn't get tempted very much.Though I fell today,I wanted to try and not fall again,though it wasn't easy.I think that it's because I am trying to start relationships with other men and I am striking out big time.I keep asking myself "What am I doing wrong?"The only men that I know are those who make obnoxious and sexist remarks about things having to do with sinful sexual activity and it does throw me off when they do that.I am now really desperate as I am trying to start these types of relationships.I am again appealing to all of my blog followers who have been reading my blog and following it to please keep praying for me as I am going through this rough emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as your prayers and your encouragement both help keep me going.I feel like that I am being ignored here and I hate being ignored.Please pray for me and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for doing that.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, June 01, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I went to get some gas at a local gas station.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
I also had to babysit for my niece as she went to work and I watched her kids until her live in boyfriend came home.When he did,I headed for home.
On the way home,I was thinking of going to get some take out food,but my niece gave me a few hot dogs to eat and instead,I went to get a loaf of rye bread and a can of baked beans at a couple of local stores.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate what I had bought and watched a little TV.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.As I go from day to day,I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult and/or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better as I am still coping with the issues connected with my psychiatric disability.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both these intervals.I sat up on both occasions and though it was slow going,the erections softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with images other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these lustful and fantasy images.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I did feel better after doing so.The struggle with SSA is a difficult one indeed,but I can't let these unnatural sexual desires that I have own me nor envelope me.I have to show them that I own them and not the other way around.It is difficult,but I know that it can be done.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads that posts that I write here.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouragement and the more I get,the more determined I become.The more prayers I get,the more I want to continue in pursuit of overcoming this terrible SSA and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I went to get some gas at a local gas station.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
I also had to babysit for my niece as she went to work and I watched her kids until her live in boyfriend came home.When he did,I headed for home.
On the way home,I was thinking of going to get some take out food,but my niece gave me a few hot dogs to eat and instead,I went to get a loaf of rye bread and a can of baked beans at a couple of local stores.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate what I had bought and watched a little TV.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.As I go from day to day,I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult and/or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better as I am still coping with the issues connected with my psychiatric disability.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both these intervals.I sat up on both occasions and though it was slow going,the erections softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with images other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these lustful and fantasy images.I prayed real hard for strength to fight and resist these temptations.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and I did feel better after doing so.The struggle with SSA is a difficult one indeed,but I can't let these unnatural sexual desires that I have own me nor envelope me.I have to show them that I own them and not the other way around.It is difficult,but I know that it can be done.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads that posts that I write here.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need encouragement and the more I get,the more determined I become.The more prayers I get,the more I want to continue in pursuit of overcoming this terrible SSA and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my weekly spirituality group and it went well.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed and after paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something else that I needed.After paying for that item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both not only help in sustaining me,but also,they both help keep me level and at a hopeful and optimistic plain and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned the opposite way that I was sleeping and though it was slow,the erection did die down and I went back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these lustful and fantasy images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better as I felt much stronger and went with the rest of the day and I prayed whenever these overwhelming urges kept coming at me.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging do help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my weekly spirituality group and it went well.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed and after paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something else that I needed.After paying for that item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both not only help in sustaining me,but also,they both help keep me level and at a hopeful and optimistic plain and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned the opposite way that I was sleeping and though it was slow,the erection did die down and I went back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these lustful and fantasy images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better as I felt much stronger and went with the rest of the day and I prayed whenever these overwhelming urges kept coming at me.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging do help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since I had nothing to do today,I simply stayed home and caught up on some my reading.After doing a little bit of reading,I did a little work around the house and when that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection and this time,the urge to masturbate it away was really overwhelming.I turned to the opposite side of the bed while staying in bed and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went right back to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I tried to keep busy at home by doing things around the house and cleaning up here and there to try and keep my mind off of anything sexual with men.Though it has been sporadic,I have been tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and at times,it has made me give into the temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I am really serious about wanting to heal from this terrible condition and I really don't want to fall again.The temptation to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have can be very overwhelming and very difficult to resist.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my weekly spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since I had nothing to do today,I simply stayed home and caught up on some my reading.After doing a little bit of reading,I did a little work around the house and when that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection and this time,the urge to masturbate it away was really overwhelming.I turned to the opposite side of the bed while staying in bed and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went right back to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I tried to keep busy at home by doing things around the house and cleaning up here and there to try and keep my mind off of anything sexual with men.Though it has been sporadic,I have been tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and at times,it has made me give into the temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I am really serious about wanting to heal from this terrible condition and I really don't want to fall again.The temptation to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have can be very overwhelming and very difficult to resist.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my weekly spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local bargain outlet store to pick up some cereal as I ran out of it today.After paying for that,I proceeded to drop off some newspapers at a few people's homes in the area that I knew.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cereal that I bought away and I was hoping to relax and catch up on some reading that I had been putting off,but had to babysit for my niece while she went to workI watched her kids until her live in boyfriend came home from work.When he did,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I fixed my evening meal.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular and difficult struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,but it didn't last very long.I started sitting up and that is what made the erection soften and after a while of sitting up,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to sleep when they were.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into two later temptations when I,at two separate intervals in the morning,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved with this fall as well.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sin was forgotten.I was tempted throughout the day to act out in many ways,such as fantasies,lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals to these lustful and fantasy images of men.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I know that lust is sinful and must not be fed in any way.I also have to show these lustful thoughts and desires that I own them and not they owning me.I kept up in prayer all day as I went through these terrible lustful images and thoughts.The more resistance that I put up,the more stronger the lust becomes and I must remain strong.I have to keep asking my Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these temptations.While I am doing this and trying to rely more on God than on my own strength,I am again asking that all of you to continue to pray for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,that none of you be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local bargain outlet store to pick up some cereal as I ran out of it today.After paying for that,I proceeded to drop off some newspapers at a few people's homes in the area that I knew.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cereal that I bought away and I was hoping to relax and catch up on some reading that I had been putting off,but had to babysit for my niece while she went to workI watched her kids until her live in boyfriend came home from work.When he did,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I fixed my evening meal.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular and difficult struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,but it didn't last very long.I started sitting up and that is what made the erection soften and after a while of sitting up,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to sleep when they were.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into two later temptations when I,at two separate intervals in the morning,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved with this fall as well.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sin was forgotten.I was tempted throughout the day to act out in many ways,such as fantasies,lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals to these lustful and fantasy images of men.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I know that lust is sinful and must not be fed in any way.I also have to show these lustful thoughts and desires that I own them and not they owning me.I kept up in prayer all day as I went through these terrible lustful images and thoughts.The more resistance that I put up,the more stronger the lust becomes and I must remain strong.I have to keep asking my Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these temptations.While I am doing this and trying to rely more on God than on my own strength,I am again asking that all of you to continue to pray for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,that none of you be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, May 27, 2013
Happy Memorial Day,everyone.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I put a pair of sweat pants on and decided to simply take it easy as I didn't have anything else to do today.I never have nothing to do when holidays,such as Memorial Day, come around.
I simply watched TV for most of the day.There was a special MASH marathon on TVLand and I sat and watched it and it all ended with the series finale "Goodbye,Farewell and Amen."It was really a blast watching this marathon.MASH happens to be one of my favorite classic TV shows.Since I had nothing to do or no place to go today,I simply decided to stay home and make the best of it.It was wonderful.
In between watching the non-stop episodes,I managed to have a nice lunch and relaxed for the whole day.
After eating a light dinner,I continued watching the marathon and when I was all over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or sometimes,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication,which was just increased,as directed.I am also still continue to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me evenly level.It does make me feel a tad better that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is actually very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.I proceeded to walk to the bathroom as I had to use it and when I was finished with what I had to do,I went right back to bed and back to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I wasn't tempted too do anything in regards to SSA.No images of men clouded my mind nor did any lustful and sexual thoughts of men creep up into my mind.I simply kept busy watching TV and simply keeping up with life and just enjoying the day.Though nothing happened today,there is still tomorrow and the days after that.I am again asking that all of you who follow and read the posts on my blog keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.Please continue to pray for me as I am going through a pretty difficult emotional period even though I wasn't tempted today to do anything sexually sinful in the forms of lusting and fantasies with other members of my own gender.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks again in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I put a pair of sweat pants on and decided to simply take it easy as I didn't have anything else to do today.I never have nothing to do when holidays,such as Memorial Day, come around.
I simply watched TV for most of the day.There was a special MASH marathon on TVLand and I sat and watched it and it all ended with the series finale "Goodbye,Farewell and Amen."It was really a blast watching this marathon.MASH happens to be one of my favorite classic TV shows.Since I had nothing to do or no place to go today,I simply decided to stay home and make the best of it.It was wonderful.
In between watching the non-stop episodes,I managed to have a nice lunch and relaxed for the whole day.
After eating a light dinner,I continued watching the marathon and when I was all over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or sometimes,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication,which was just increased,as directed.I am also still continue to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me evenly level.It does make me feel a tad better that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is actually very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.I proceeded to walk to the bathroom as I had to use it and when I was finished with what I had to do,I went right back to bed and back to sleep.Throughout the rest of the day,I wasn't tempted too do anything in regards to SSA.No images of men clouded my mind nor did any lustful and sexual thoughts of men creep up into my mind.I simply kept busy watching TV and simply keeping up with life and just enjoying the day.Though nothing happened today,there is still tomorrow and the days after that.I am again asking that all of you who follow and read the posts on my blog keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.Please continue to pray for me as I am going through a pretty difficult emotional period even though I wasn't tempted today to do anything sexually sinful in the forms of lusting and fantasies with other members of my own gender.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks again in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4.5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed up in a suit quickly to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning's worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful and I did get a lot out of everything from them.After the whole thing was over,we had a wonderful pancake breakfast in the church's fellowship hall and I had two helpings.After the whole thing was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with having hallucinations as well as the emotional roller coaster ride.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to try to get the better of me and they both help in keeping me sustained,clam and serene.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I tossed and turned,but the erection throbbed only a little.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft and when they were,I went back to sleep.For today,I really wasn't plagued by temptations to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.I kept busy watching a movie or two throughout the day and just kept my mind focused on things that were positive.Though I did escape this day,there is always the days after today as each day is different.I am again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,which will be the Memorial Day holiday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4.5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed up in a suit quickly to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning's worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful and I did get a lot out of everything from them.After the whole thing was over,we had a wonderful pancake breakfast in the church's fellowship hall and I had two helpings.After the whole thing was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with having hallucinations as well as the emotional roller coaster ride.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to try to get the better of me and they both help in keeping me sustained,clam and serene.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I tossed and turned,but the erection throbbed only a little.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft and when they were,I went back to sleep.For today,I really wasn't plagued by temptations to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.I kept busy watching a movie or two throughout the day and just kept my mind focused on things that were positive.Though I did escape this day,there is always the days after today as each day is different.I am again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,which will be the Memorial Day holiday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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