Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my weekly spirituality group and it went well.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed and after paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something else that I needed.After paying for that item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both not only help in sustaining me,but also,they both help keep me level and at a hopeful and optimistic plain and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned the opposite way that I was sleeping and though it was slow,the erection did die down and I went back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these lustful and fantasy images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better as I felt much stronger and went with the rest of the day and I prayed whenever these overwhelming urges kept coming at me.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging do help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ