Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and before doing my personal PC work,I decided to check out a block sale that was in the area where I lived.
I didn't find anything that I was hoping to look for,so I decided to head straight home and when I got home,I did my personal PC work and I decided to proceed with the rest of the day.
After putting a small amount of gas in my gas tank,I decided to head over to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the peninsula where I lived.I found a few things and bought them and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to clean my bathtub as it really needed some cleaning.After that was finished,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate constantly and I never know what to expect on how I will feel at any day,or at other times,at any minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father,the only one and true God,and his son,the Lord and savior,Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to get me through all the negatives that this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with gives me at times.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom as usual and I got up out of bed to use it and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting of other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting then near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these negative sexual images of men.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also,to help make me stronger than the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle that I am still struggling with day after day.I needed to be strong so I wouldn't fall into sin like I did twice this week.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father as I didn't want to fall into sin and also,I didn't want to displease him by looking at things that I am not supposed to look at,which was what I was also tempted to do.I prayed real hard and really asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these urges and after I finished praying each time,I felt much stronger and also,felt better as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I write to please continue to pray for me as I am going through this rough emotionally trying time.My moods and/or emotions have been fluctuating between negative and frustrating things that have been happening in my life,such as my car failing the week before and also,the anxiety that I have been experiencing as a result of my niece's complicated medical problems and also,my stress and frustration over trying to find a job as I feel that I am not getting anywhere in my search for employment and I really need to find work as I am really desperate to find work.Please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this frustrating and stressful time that I am having,which is making my moods and/or emotions fluctuate constantly.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words as I also need some words of encouragement alongside your prayers.Nobody who visits my blog leaves any comments,as I truly need some words of encouragement.Please leave me a word or two of encouragement alongside your prayers.Your prayers and your positive words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and that makes me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the wounds that caused me to have these terrible unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your continued prayerful support and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I really don't have anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went over to my niece's house to pick up some of my laundry and after that,I dropped it off and I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and after that,I headed straight home to register all of the bills at the Where's George website and after that,I headed back out again to a local bargain outlet store to pick up a giant jar of pasta sauce and after paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and a few other things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed while doing some more personal PC work.I then relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.When it seems to try to envelope me and make me feel worse,I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the rigamarole of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and I headed for the bathroom,as I had to use it,and that helped soften the erection and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong and to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I did feel better and much stronger after I was finished praying each time.I didn't want to fall into anything sinful again like i did this week and I wanted to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.I am again asking that all of you please keep up in praying for me as I am going through this difficult and emotionally trying time as I really and desperately need prayers from all of my fellow supporters and strugglers.Please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this difficult time.I also ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please offer some encouraging words in the comments section.They can be in the form of upbuilding with scriptures of something to help keep me going and to motivate me to keep up the fight.Your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also increase my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't got anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went to my spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.When that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I ask my Heavenly Father to help get me through the difficulties of this particular struggle,this psychiatric double whammy that I have,in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell twice within a fifteen hour period.Last night,I gave into temptation by masturbating and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved and I manipulated my genitals while those images were flashing through my mind and later on in the early afternoon,I fell again by the same thing again.I masturbated on both occasions after the genital manipulation.On both of these occurrences,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning on both occasions and on the second fall,I asked for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I gave into the same thing again because I really felt terrible and worthless after that.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy to the point where tears fell from my eyes and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him on both of these occurrences.I did feel better as I truly and totally knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean and it gave me a pretty good feeling.These falls were terrible and I really felt bad after that,but I am forgiven and I am going to try and work on myself.Please fellow blog followers,I am again appealing to all of you to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional and trying time.I need all the prayers that I can get.I also could use some words of encouragement as I am going through this terribly emotional and trying time.Please leave me a word of encouragement or two in the comments section.Please do so as I am in desperate need of some verbal encouragement right now.I need to know that many of my fellow strugglers are behind me a whole 100% and I really could use the encouragement right now.Your prayers and your encouragement do indeed keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.I need both prayerful and emotional support from positive encouragement from everyone who also struggle with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for all that they do as well as provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of returning some bottles that have accumulated in my back seat,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 10th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,had a quick,but light,lunch and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things to do today.I cleaned out the back seat of my car and bagged quite a few loose bottles and cans that were in the back seat.It took me about fifteen minutes to do that and after that,I went back into the house to do some cleaning up here and there and after that was done,I relaxed and did a little bot of reading.
In the mid afternoon,I went over to my nieces house to babysit her kids for a few hours.I also had a light dinner over there as well.When my niece got home,I I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw any burdens that this particular struggle can bring on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them both to help get me through the rigamarole of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and suffer from and they both help in sustaining me as well as keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up and get out of bed and since I had to use the bathroom,I headed over there and that is what made the erection soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father constantly as these temptations were coming at me from all sides and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges that were coming at me and after I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger as I truly believed and knew that they gave me what I was seeking from them.It is just that I don't want to fall again like I did several days ago.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I write here almost every day to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very emotionally difficult and trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I truly and desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for in the comments section also.I need some words of encouragement as I am also in desperate need of some emotional verbal encouragement.My blogs gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave anything as far as comments are concerned.I need some positive verbal encouragement as I really need to see that there are people like me who are also struggling and also want to support me in my struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fr everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from these things,I don't have anything else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 9th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work as I awaited my niece to call me and when she did,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After dropping off my niece's car at her place,we went to a local repair garage to pick up my car as the starter had to replaced.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something for lunch and after that,I dropped off some free newspapers at a few people's houses and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle seems to try to get me down and make me emotionally exhausted,I simply take it to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and I ask them both to help get me through and endure all of these negatives and they both help in not only keeping me sustained,but also on a very calm and level plain.It shows that I don't have to struggle alone and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to walk a little and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father as these temptations were really overwhelming.I prayed for strength and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt much better and also,much stronger.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to please continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need both your prayers and your positive encouragement.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

July 8th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today,despite some setbacks.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,my niece called me saying that she was going to work and I accompanied her because I had to use her car again to do what I had to do.After she was dropped off at her work,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to pay a much delayed bill that I had to pay and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,my niece gave me a ring the minute that I was in the house and I had to go back out again to do a favor for my next door neighbor whose car battery was dead.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk for her and on the home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the milk off at my neighbor's house and went in to do my personal PC work and listen to some music while I was doing that,but my niece called me and told me that she was feeling sick and needed to see her doctor immediately.I immediately got into her car and drove to where she was working and she took over the driving after that and her doctor told her to check in at the nearby hospital,which she did at it's emergency ward and after she entered the hospital,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dined on some Japanese raw fish delicacy that she was hoping to have for her lunch,but got sick to her stomach and that was both my lunch and dinner for the day as it was pretty filling.After that,I watched some classic TV reruns on TVLand and simply relaxed.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day despite some setbacks.I also managed to get that recommended reading of the Holy Bible for the day done as well.I also heard from my niece and she informed me that one of her girlfriends was going to pick her up and take her home.I couldn't go out and drive because I had taken my medication and when it kicks in,I can't leave the house nor drive under the influence as it is against the law to drive under the influence of anything that can impair anyone's ability to operate any type of machinery.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get me through the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I tossed and I turned,but that only made it throb.I started to get out of bed and I walked a little bit and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was extremely vulnerable as the negative things that we happening to me today with my niece getting sick and getting worried about her as a result of her being sick.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and I also said a few words on behalf of my niece as well.I felt much better and much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time as I need all the prayers that I can get.I also need some encouraging words by my followers.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and they also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

July 7th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning's worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible today in front of the congregation.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.I had no place to go for a while and I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I also relaxed and listened to some music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I went to pick up my niece from where she was working.After she dropped me off at home,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride that at times gets very complicated.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get through this.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also to help keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and sensing that I had to use the bathroom,I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.As I did that,the erection started to slowly soften and when I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my heavenly Father throughout the day.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed really hard for this and when I was finished praying each time,I felt much stronger each time as I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I really need prayers real bad as I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also could use some words of encouragement in the comments section as I really need some encouragement right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both your prayers and your encouragement.They both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ