July 10th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,had a quick,but light,lunch and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things to do today.I cleaned out the back seat of my car and bagged quite a few loose bottles and cans that were in the back seat.It took me about fifteen minutes to do that and after that,I went back into the house to do some cleaning up here and there and after that was done,I relaxed and did a little bot of reading.
In the mid afternoon,I went over to my nieces house to babysit her kids for a few hours.I also had a light dinner over there as well.When my niece got home,I I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw any burdens that this particular struggle can bring on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them both to help get me through the rigamarole of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and suffer from and they both help in sustaining me as well as keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up and get out of bed and since I had to use the bathroom,I headed over there and that is what made the erection soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father constantly as these temptations were coming at me from all sides and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges that were coming at me and after I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger as I truly believed and knew that they gave me what I was seeking from them.It is just that I don't want to fall again like I did several days ago.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I write here almost every day to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very emotionally difficult and trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I truly and desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for in the comments section also.I need some words of encouragement as I am also in desperate need of some emotional verbal encouragement.My blogs gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave anything as far as comments are concerned.I need some positive verbal encouragement as I really need to see that there are people like me who are also struggling and also want to support me in my struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fr everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from these things,I don't have anything else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ