Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After bathing,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I only had a couple of things on my agenda today and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I had to go to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things at that store.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.I also stayed there as it was raining for much of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will start improving in my recovery soon.It has been a rocky road and a very rocky roller coaster ride,but I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic that my recovery will start improving again very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out twice in the wee early morning hours.I was tempted to masturbate when I was awakened by morning erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.The first happened at around 4 am and I simply tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection died down.The second happened at around 8:20 am this morning and this time,it was another throbbing erection.My only way of relieving this was to simply get up and head for the bathroom as I had to go there and afterwards,I bathed.Though I escaped both of these,I know that the temptation to act out in any other way other than seeking a male partner to act out with,including masturbation,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Again,though I escaped these two instances,I know that I will be tempted again.Not that I am waiting for it to happen,I am simply saying that it can happen again when it is least expected to happen.I am still open to any suggestions as to how I can keep myself strong to resist the temptation to act out by masturbating or by any other means.Anything is welcomed.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I am planning to attend the morning's church service and also,the Holy Bible study class before the service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something for my mom.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I got for my mom away and after that,I prepared to meet with the pastor of the church as that was the most important thing on my agenda.
The meeting with the pastor went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the neat and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate as I was again awakened by an erection that was also another throbbing one.Whenever this happens,the temptation to act out by masturbating really gets strong with me.It is to simply masturbate the erection away.But again,as usual,I tossed and turned,but I also had to get up to use the bathroom and that is what killed the erection as I walked to the bathroom.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.This morning,the temptation to masturbate the erection away was really strong.Whenever I get erect,my craving to masturbate it away does get overwhelming.I simply have to fight the desire until my genitals soften.Though I escaped this temptation,I know that I still have to be on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form by doing anything other than seeking a male partner to act out with can get really strong and the desire to act out on this can also be very strong.I will just have to stay in the fight to resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires.I am still open to anything on how I can do that.Thanks.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something for my mom.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I got for my mom away and after that,I prepared to meet with the pastor of the church as that was the most important thing on my agenda.
The meeting with the pastor went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the neat and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate as I was again awakened by an erection that was also another throbbing one.Whenever this happens,the temptation to act out by masturbating really gets strong with me.It is to simply masturbate the erection away.But again,as usual,I tossed and turned,but I also had to get up to use the bathroom and that is what killed the erection as I walked to the bathroom.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.This morning,the temptation to masturbate the erection away was really strong.Whenever I get erect,my craving to masturbate it away does get overwhelming.I simply have to fight the desire until my genitals soften.Though I escaped this temptation,I know that I still have to be on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form by doing anything other than seeking a male partner to act out with can get really strong and the desire to act out on this can also be very strong.I will just have to stay in the fight to resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires.I am still open to anything on how I can do that.Thanks.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things planed for today and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I had a spirituality group that I had to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went great.I got a lot out of this.After the group was over,I headed for a community kitchen to have lunch and after eating my lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and after that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of my mom's prescriptions.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was another throbbing one and the temptation to masturbate it away was overwhelming.I fought the temptation by tossing and turning until the erection died down.It took several minutes,but it did die down.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this temptation,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form,other than finding a male partner to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep fighting the temptation when it does rear it's ugly head at me.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is to make contact with my lost maleness and it also will never give me what I truly need and want,which is the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation of my gender identity.I know that I need to make the effort to seek out newer friendships and hopefully,they will develop into something successful,like a healthy male bonding relationship.I hope that one day,I can get that as I so desperately need to have more healthy relationships with other guys in order for me to grow as a man and to just be one of the guys.I am hoping that I will start doing that in the days and months ahead.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with the pastor of the church that I have been attending worship at.As for the rest of the day and before the meeting,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things planed for today and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I had a spirituality group that I had to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went great.I got a lot out of this.After the group was over,I headed for a community kitchen to have lunch and after eating my lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and after that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of my mom's prescriptions.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was another throbbing one and the temptation to masturbate it away was overwhelming.I fought the temptation by tossing and turning until the erection died down.It took several minutes,but it did die down.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this temptation,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form,other than finding a male partner to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep fighting the temptation when it does rear it's ugly head at me.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is to make contact with my lost maleness and it also will never give me what I truly need and want,which is the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation of my gender identity.I know that I need to make the effort to seek out newer friendships and hopefully,they will develop into something successful,like a healthy male bonding relationship.I hope that one day,I can get that as I so desperately need to have more healthy relationships with other guys in order for me to grow as a man and to just be one of the guys.I am hoping that I will start doing that in the days and months ahead.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with the pastor of the church that I have been attending worship at.As for the rest of the day and before the meeting,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff that needed to get done and I wanted to make sure that they were accomplished.
I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.After that,I headed over to a friends house to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out by masturbating in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was a very stiff one and also,it was a throbbing one.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation,but I had to get up to use the bathroom and as I was on the way to the bathroom,the erection died down and when I was finished,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped that episode,the temptation to act out on these SSA desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.This current temptation was a strong one indeed and I had to really fight to resist the temptation this time around.I know that we humans will get tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.Not only that,the temptation to act out will come when least expected and when it comes,all the strength that we have has to be used to resist that temptation.I am just hoping that I will be much stronger when the temptation to act out by masturbating or in any way comes around.I am still open to any suggestions by anyone.Thanks,
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff that needed to get done and I wanted to make sure that they were accomplished.
I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.After that,I headed over to a friends house to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out by masturbating in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was a very stiff one and also,it was a throbbing one.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation,but I had to get up to use the bathroom and as I was on the way to the bathroom,the erection died down and when I was finished,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped that episode,the temptation to act out on these SSA desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.This current temptation was a strong one indeed and I had to really fight to resist the temptation this time around.I know that we humans will get tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.Not only that,the temptation to act out will come when least expected and when it comes,all the strength that we have has to be used to resist that temptation.I am just hoping that I will be much stronger when the temptation to act out by masturbating or in any way comes around.I am still open to any suggestions by anyone.Thanks,
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though a little rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the later morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda.I had to pick up something from a friend of my mom's and after that was done,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues and it is a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted at the moment to act out by masturbating.Yes,the temptation is still as fresh as ever.I am still being tempted to do that and I am still fighting and wrestling that temptation.I understand that this is not an easy thing to do as it is easier to give into the temptation than it is to fight it.I have to continue keeping in mind that masturbation will never give me what I truly want,which is to connect me with my lost maleness and will never really give me what I really want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying overcome as it is not what God intended me to be.It will be a bumpy ride,but I have to keep fighting and hang in there for the long haul.I will still need the encouragement and support of all of those who are with me in this fight.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the later morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda.I had to pick up something from a friend of my mom's and after that was done,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues and it is a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted at the moment to act out by masturbating.Yes,the temptation is still as fresh as ever.I am still being tempted to do that and I am still fighting and wrestling that temptation.I understand that this is not an easy thing to do as it is easier to give into the temptation than it is to fight it.I have to continue keeping in mind that masturbation will never give me what I truly want,which is to connect me with my lost maleness and will never really give me what I really want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying overcome as it is not what God intended me to be.It will be a bumpy ride,but I have to keep fighting and hang in there for the long haul.I will still need the encouragement and support of all of those who are with me in this fight.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, March 19, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery go on unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I had to go to a couple of groups today and I was looking forward to them with a lot of positive anticipation and a lot of enthusiasm.
The groups went well.After the were over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts to improve soon as it has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me as of late.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out this morning when I was awakened with an erection.I was tempted to masturbate the erection away.It was also a throbbing erection.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist the temptation to masturbate this erection away.I simply tossed and turned until the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped this current temptation,I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out by masturbating can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to continue using all the strength that I have to continue resisting the temptation to masturbate or to act out on my desires in other ways.I have gotten some advice from one of my regular blog followers and I will try to put it to good use.I am still open to more.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I had to go to a couple of groups today and I was looking forward to them with a lot of positive anticipation and a lot of enthusiasm.
The groups went well.After the were over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts to improve soon as it has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me as of late.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out this morning when I was awakened with an erection.I was tempted to masturbate the erection away.It was also a throbbing erection.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist the temptation to masturbate this erection away.I simply tossed and turned until the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped this current temptation,I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out by masturbating can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to continue using all the strength that I have to continue resisting the temptation to masturbate or to act out on my desires in other ways.I have gotten some advice from one of my regular blog followers and I will try to put it to good use.I am still open to more.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to get ready to go to the morning's church service and it's morning Holy Bible study class.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with the members before and after the service.It was yet another wonderful Sunday and I am really smiling at this.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I proceeded to get my e-mail work done and also,to run at least one errand that needed to be run.Before I did that,I had a quick lunch of a sandwich before setting out to do what I needed to do.
I only went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that were needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in to watch while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more e-mail work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated.I really felt miserable after that fall and it was really a huge load on me mentally and emotionally.I was also tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away and when my penis softened,I fell back asleep.I really need to get some extra strength to resist even more temptations that can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I want to stop this terrible and unclean habit of masturbation and I really need some encouragement and support.Thanks in advance for anyone giving it.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to get ready to go to the morning's church service and it's morning Holy Bible study class.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with the members before and after the service.It was yet another wonderful Sunday and I am really smiling at this.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I proceeded to get my e-mail work done and also,to run at least one errand that needed to be run.Before I did that,I had a quick lunch of a sandwich before setting out to do what I needed to do.
I only went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that were needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in to watch while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more e-mail work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated.I really felt miserable after that fall and it was really a huge load on me mentally and emotionally.I was also tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away and when my penis softened,I fell back asleep.I really need to get some extra strength to resist even more temptations that can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I want to stop this terrible and unclean habit of masturbation and I really need some encouragement and support.Thanks in advance for anyone giving it.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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