Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though a little rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the later morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda.I had to pick up something from a friend of my mom's and after that was done,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues and it is a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted at the moment to act out by masturbating.Yes,the temptation is still as fresh as ever.I am still being tempted to do that and I am still fighting and wrestling that temptation.I understand that this is not an easy thing to do as it is easier to give into the temptation than it is to fight it.I have to continue keeping in mind that masturbation will never give me what I truly want,which is to connect me with my lost maleness and will never really give me what I really want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying overcome as it is not what God intended me to be.It will be a bumpy ride,but I have to keep fighting and hang in there for the long haul.I will still need the encouragement and support of all of those who are with me in this fight.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ