Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had my usual coffee.After my coffee,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I managed to move some more boxes containing another portion of my record collection to the rented storage unit.I still have a few more to bring there,which will be done tomorrow after I get home from church.
After all of that,I managed to get some shopping done at a local supermarket.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had a light evening meal and I changed into pajamas.I also did some more personal PC work.I relaxed for the rest of the evening until it was time for me to prepare for my evening retirement.A pretty good day overall.
My SSA struggles have been tough as of late.The stress of the past week and also the previous week have made the SSA that I have skyrocket.I have had to put with the baloney from the clients at the facility.I also faced persecution from one of them after I let one of the staffers know that I smelled tobacco in one of the restrooms at the facility.They called me vile names and continued to persecute me.They even followed me around when I was walking to find something that I needed to get a certain job done.All of this really made SSA skyrocket for me.I was being tempted to act out on all the perversions that I have.The temptations were attacking me at both sides.I was tempted not only to fantasize and lust,but also to watch "Homosexual/Gay" themed pornography.I feel like I'm going up a steep hill with no end in sight.I have even had some bizarre dreams where I'm stuck in the middle of a deserted road trying to find which way to go.I have also had dreams where I meet wild animals that talk to me and say all sorts of things and gibberish.With the temptations,I have also been tempted to touch myself inappropriately to sexual images of men clouding my mind.Coupled with all of the abuse,physical,emotional and sexual,that I have endured and suffered,the bullying that I endured during much of my school years and also,outside of school and being used and abused by others for their own pleasure,I feel like I'm being worn out and messed up emotionally and mentally.I still don't know whether I'm coming or going.I also feel trapped in a shell with all of my negative emotions and the unnatural sexual desires that I have.I would love to break free from this shell and feel like I'm finally free.As I have said before and I will say again,this terrible SSA struggle that I have made me realize that I have perversions that I never thought I had nor ever knew that I had,but again,I'm not going to go into them as I don't want to trigger anything in anyone nor scare anyone away from me.I am still seeking to break free from these terrible and sinful perversions that I have.I just need some helpful advice.I also need some spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words.I also still need to fix and repair my own relations with my Heavenly Father as I haven't been talking to him regularly like I should.Any advice on how I can do that is appreciated.
Please continue to pray for me.I really and desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get from all of you who are Christian and follow my blog.Yes,I still need your prayers as I really need to know that there are people out there who haven't given up on me.This helps keep me going.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuiling (i.e. Holy Bible scriptures to help me out and see what I can do to keep fighting and seek the healing that I so desperately need) and encouraging words.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is church as usual and I hope that it goes well and that the rest of the day goes well also.FJ
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.I then washed up and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day was stressful,but not like yesterday.I still managed to get a lot done both on and off the schedule.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I also showered after that and had a light evening meal.After that,I did more personal PC work.I later prepared to retire for the evening.A pretty stressful day overall.
I still need prayerful support as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.These struggles are really becoming difficult.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to all of you.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow starts the weekend.I hope that all goes well for me as I will have a three day weekend coming up.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.I then washed up and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day was stressful,but not like yesterday.I still managed to get a lot done both on and off the schedule.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I also showered after that and had a light evening meal.After that,I did more personal PC work.I later prepared to retire for the evening.A pretty stressful day overall.
I still need prayerful support as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.These struggles are really becoming difficult.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to all of you.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow starts the weekend.I hope that all goes well for me as I will have a three day weekend coming up.FJ
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Possible Triggers in this post
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I washed up and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day was chaotic and stressful.We had to work non-stop and quickly to get the facility clean and up to snuff as we were having an inspection coming today.We were all given tasks to do and we managed to get things done within the time span that we needed to do.After that,it was back to the normal schedule as I had to do a couple of things today to catch up from yesterday.I was forced to go off my usual schedule many times today,but was glad when the work day was over.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I loaded some boxes of record albums into my car and after that,showered quickly and did some of my personal PC work.After that,I went to a local church for a free dinner and after that,I dropped off those boxes of records at a local storage facility.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into pajamas and finished my personal PC work.I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to retire.I am really tired from that stressful work day I had today and will be glad when the weekend comes so I can relax and relieve some stress.This makes me better appreciate the weekends as I technically have off on them.Thank goodness.
My struggles with SSA have been terrible.All the stress of the past week and the chaos and stress of the day today really made SSA skyrocket.I have given into temptation to fantasize and lust many times over the last several days and each time I would fall,it made me miserable.Yes,I felt really and extremely miserable for giving into these terrible temptations.I want to be strong in order to fight and resist these terrible temptations,but I'm weak.I know that there's no such thing as a perfect human,be they male or female,but I feel like the worst sinner in the world as a result of my struggles with this terrible SSA that I have.I feel like the Apostle Paul as a result of the way that I feel.He said that he was the worst sinner of all,which is the way that I feel.I need some guidance.I need some reassurance.I need someone to help me with spiritual upbuilding from the Holy Bible and encouraging words in the comments section.I also still need prayerful support.Please continue praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need to repair my relationship with my Heavenly Father as I haven't been going to him regularly and talking with him through prayer.Please continue praying for me.I would really appreciate prayerful support.I so desperately need it right now.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day.I'm hoping that it goes smoothly.After that,it's the weekend.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I washed up and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day was chaotic and stressful.We had to work non-stop and quickly to get the facility clean and up to snuff as we were having an inspection coming today.We were all given tasks to do and we managed to get things done within the time span that we needed to do.After that,it was back to the normal schedule as I had to do a couple of things today to catch up from yesterday.I was forced to go off my usual schedule many times today,but was glad when the work day was over.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I loaded some boxes of record albums into my car and after that,showered quickly and did some of my personal PC work.After that,I went to a local church for a free dinner and after that,I dropped off those boxes of records at a local storage facility.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into pajamas and finished my personal PC work.I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to retire.I am really tired from that stressful work day I had today and will be glad when the weekend comes so I can relax and relieve some stress.This makes me better appreciate the weekends as I technically have off on them.Thank goodness.
My struggles with SSA have been terrible.All the stress of the past week and the chaos and stress of the day today really made SSA skyrocket.I have given into temptation to fantasize and lust many times over the last several days and each time I would fall,it made me miserable.Yes,I felt really and extremely miserable for giving into these terrible temptations.I want to be strong in order to fight and resist these terrible temptations,but I'm weak.I know that there's no such thing as a perfect human,be they male or female,but I feel like the worst sinner in the world as a result of my struggles with this terrible SSA that I have.I feel like the Apostle Paul as a result of the way that I feel.He said that he was the worst sinner of all,which is the way that I feel.I need some guidance.I need some reassurance.I need someone to help me with spiritual upbuilding from the Holy Bible and encouraging words in the comments section.I also still need prayerful support.Please continue praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need to repair my relationship with my Heavenly Father as I haven't been going to him regularly and talking with him through prayer.Please continue praying for me.I would really appreciate prayerful support.I so desperately need it right now.Thanks to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day.I'm hoping that it goes smoothly.After that,it's the weekend.FJ
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Tonight,I'm feeling extremely tired.I can barely type this.I will share only that I did go to church tonight for Ash Wednesday,which was a wonderful worship service.I am tired and I will post either tomorrow or when I can.Please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really struggling terribly with this terrible SSA at the moment and I don't know whether I'm coming or going.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.FJ
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Monday, February 12, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I washed up quickly and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local U-Haul store to buy some storage boxes.I also got some gas at a local gas station and headed straight home.
When I got home,I went to work and filled the boxes with more of my record albums.After they were all filled,I showered quickly and had a light evening meal.I also did my personal PC work.Later on,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good day overall.
I am still struggling terribly with this terrible SSA that I have.Please continue praying for me.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need both spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words by all of you.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day.I hope that all goes well.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I washed up quickly and got dressed.I headed for work.
The work day went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local U-Haul store to buy some storage boxes.I also got some gas at a local gas station and headed straight home.
When I got home,I went to work and filled the boxes with more of my record albums.After they were all filled,I showered quickly and had a light evening meal.I also did my personal PC work.Later on,I prepared to retire for the evening.A very good day overall.
I am still struggling terribly with this terrible SSA that I have.Please continue praying for me.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need both spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words by all of you.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day.I hope that all goes well.FJ
Sunday, February 11, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I showered quickly,alongside shaving and got dressed up in a suit to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped and had a light lunch at McDonald's.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into casual clothes and quickly did my personal PC work.I later went back out again to a local U-Haul store to buy some boxes to pack some record albums of mine in.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I packed some record albums in the boxes that I bought.It was a work-out and I did sweat.I also moved some of my cassettes that were in storage things into the garage.After that,I showered again as I had to clean myself from all of the sweat.I then had a light meal and I did some more personal PC work.I later prepared to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
After the terrible week that I had,I am hoping that this week goes better.I also still need all the prayerful support that I can get.Please continue to pray for me that things will start getting better soon.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need some spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words right now.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After that,I showered quickly,alongside shaving and got dressed up in a suit to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped and had a light lunch at McDonald's.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into casual clothes and quickly did my personal PC work.I later went back out again to a local U-Haul store to buy some boxes to pack some record albums of mine in.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I packed some record albums in the boxes that I bought.It was a work-out and I did sweat.I also moved some of my cassettes that were in storage things into the garage.After that,I showered again as I had to clean myself from all of the sweat.I then had a light meal and I did some more personal PC work.I later prepared to retire for the evening.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
After the terrible week that I had,I am hoping that this week goes better.I also still need all the prayerful support that I can get.Please continue to pray for me that things will start getting better soon.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need some spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words right now.Thanks for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)