Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and was hoping to go to the monthly Men's Network meeting,but the roads were really covered up with snow and I really had a hard time trying to control my car while driving,though I was going as carefully slow as I could,but couldn't keep it straight.As a result of this,I headed straight home and when I got there,I e-mailed the group leader explaining why I couldn't make it as a result of the weather and the roads and I am hoping that he understands.
I simply did my personal PC work and I relaxed for a while.
In the early afternoon,I headed over to my niece's house to babysit her kids for a few hours.The kids were well behaved and all and after my niece came home,I headed over to a local pizzeria to but a small personal pizza for dinner as it was a little too late for me to cook anything.After getting that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I at my personal pizza and relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall, a pretty fair day,though I did accomplish reading some recommended Holy Bible chapters.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in this difficult struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It is bad enough that my moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment,but I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk to God about this in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and there was lusting involved as well.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and after the prayer,I felt better as I believed that I was forgiven.I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as temptation kept coming at me left and right.The struggle with SSA is a very difficult one indeed and temptation can come at anyone who struggles with SSA when least expected.I get tempted constantly to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I have to keep fighting them and resisting to act out on them constantly.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him for strength to fight and resist all these temptations in the name of his son Christ Jesus.I always felt better when I did so and I am now going to try and make it a habit to keep throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking him for the strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me and also,don't be shy when visiting and please share an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that both prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors and/or possibly curious types,but I usually never get any encouraging words.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section when visiting and also,please keep up in prayer for me as I really need all the prayers that I can get from those who follow and read my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 02, 2013
Friday, February 01, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,got dressed and before proceeding with the rest of the day,I had a light lunch.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money that I needed.After doing that,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away in a safe place and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and even my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I must confess that I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week when I masturbated to sexual images of men early this morning.I really felt miserable after this fall and though I did feel that way,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also pleaded for his mercy because I really felt so unworthy of him after this particular consecutive fall.I did feel better after that,but I was still tempted again throughout the rest of the day.Whenever the temptations came around and they were really aggressive,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I wish that at times,I never had to struggle with this terriblel thing because it is very difficult to struggle with,and it can try to wear out anyone who is trying to stay sexually sober and trying to please God amidst the struggle.The only thing that I refuse to do is give Satan and his minions what they want,which is to syurrender to these unnaturak desires that I have and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity,but I always willfully choose to stay home or if I go out,I try to seek out positive associations that I know won't lead to any sort of sinful sexual encounters.As usual,I am again asking that those who continually follow and read my blog to continue praying for me.I am in desperate need of prayer as I am going through a lot of difficult stuff right now that are very emotionally complex.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual monthly Men's Network meeting tomorrow and I am hoping that it goes great.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,got dressed and before proceeding with the rest of the day,I had a light lunch.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money that I needed.After doing that,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away in a safe place and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and even my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I must confess that I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week when I masturbated to sexual images of men early this morning.I really felt miserable after this fall and though I did feel that way,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also pleaded for his mercy because I really felt so unworthy of him after this particular consecutive fall.I did feel better after that,but I was still tempted again throughout the rest of the day.Whenever the temptations came around and they were really aggressive,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I wish that at times,I never had to struggle with this terriblel thing because it is very difficult to struggle with,and it can try to wear out anyone who is trying to stay sexually sober and trying to please God amidst the struggle.The only thing that I refuse to do is give Satan and his minions what they want,which is to syurrender to these unnaturak desires that I have and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity,but I always willfully choose to stay home or if I go out,I try to seek out positive associations that I know won't lead to any sort of sinful sexual encounters.As usual,I am again asking that those who continually follow and read my blog to continue praying for me.I am in desperate need of prayer as I am going through a lot of difficult stuff right now that are very emotionally complex.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual monthly Men's Network meeting tomorrow and I am hoping that it goes great.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to my usual Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.I was also lusting as well alongside that.I immediately asked God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better.I also continued in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus all through the day as temptation wouldn't leave me alone.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asking him for strength in Christ Jesus' name and I felt better.I am glad that God and Christ Jesus are both understanding and loving and that God freely forgives no matter how many times that I fall.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.It is just that most people visit,but usually don't leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to my usual Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.I was also lusting as well alongside that.I immediately asked God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better.I also continued in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus all through the day as temptation wouldn't leave me alone.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asking him for strength in Christ Jesus' name and I felt better.I am glad that God and Christ Jesus are both understanding and loving and that God freely forgives no matter how many times that I fall.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.It is just that most people visit,but usually don't leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got a couple of phone calls today from both my locally living sister and my father.They both wished me a Happy Birthday and I Thanked them.I also got quite a few birthday wishes from many of my friends on Facebook and that was wonderful.
I had a meeting with my case worker here at the house and after that was over,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got ready for my dinner engagement as my sister and her boyfriend invited me out to dinner as a birthday surprise for me.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate so much that I was really full.After the dinner was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
Since I ate out tonight,it gave me a break from cooking something.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I never have anything to worry about or fear when it comes this constant emotional roller coaster ride connected with having BPD or the hallucinatory effects connected with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I do feel a tad better when I know that God and Christ are both leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this as well.I stopped myself and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into the temptation to commit that unclean and impure act that I did and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was only tempted again only once and I threw that temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist that temptation and I felt better after praying for that strength.For much of the day,since I wasn't home,but having dinner out of the house as a result of my birthday,I wasn't really tempted anymore to act out on the unnatural desires that I have as a result of SSA and the celebrations took my mind off of my struggles and that was great.I am again that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got a couple of phone calls today from both my locally living sister and my father.They both wished me a Happy Birthday and I Thanked them.I also got quite a few birthday wishes from many of my friends on Facebook and that was wonderful.
I had a meeting with my case worker here at the house and after that was over,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got ready for my dinner engagement as my sister and her boyfriend invited me out to dinner as a birthday surprise for me.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate so much that I was really full.After the dinner was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
Since I ate out tonight,it gave me a break from cooking something.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I never have anything to worry about or fear when it comes this constant emotional roller coaster ride connected with having BPD or the hallucinatory effects connected with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I do feel a tad better when I know that God and Christ are both leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this as well.I stopped myself and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into the temptation to commit that unclean and impure act that I did and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was only tempted again only once and I threw that temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist that temptation and I felt better after praying for that strength.For much of the day,since I wasn't home,but having dinner out of the house as a result of my birthday,I wasn't really tempted anymore to act out on the unnatural desires that I have as a result of SSA and the celebrations took my mind off of my struggles and that was great.I am again that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.After the session with her,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up one more things that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down scale and at times,it can get pretty nerve racking.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms try to get the better of me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is pretty good to know.God and his son Christ Jesus collectively can help get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last very long.I simply turned to my left in bed and the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into temptation later on in the morning by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men while still in bed and trying to make myself wake up.After that happened,I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I felt better.I kept up in prayer to God all day because the temptations to act out by fantasizing and manipulating my genitals while fantasizing really came at me.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I felt stronger after praying and I kept up in it whenever these temptations came at me and tried to envelope me.I had to show that I owned my desires and not the opposite way.I also had to try and show that my sexuality doesn't own me,but I own it.I kept up in prayer all day and asked God in Christ Jesus' name for strength to continue to fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read it to continue praying for me as well.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please continue praying for me and again,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.After the session with her,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up one more things that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down scale and at times,it can get pretty nerve racking.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms try to get the better of me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is pretty good to know.God and his son Christ Jesus collectively can help get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last very long.I simply turned to my left in bed and the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into temptation later on in the morning by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men while still in bed and trying to make myself wake up.After that happened,I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I felt better.I kept up in prayer to God all day because the temptations to act out by fantasizing and manipulating my genitals while fantasizing really came at me.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I felt stronger after praying and I kept up in it whenever these temptations came at me and tried to envelope me.I had to show that I owned my desires and not the opposite way.I also had to try and show that my sexuality doesn't own me,but I own it.I kept up in prayer all day and asked God in Christ Jesus' name for strength to continue to fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read it to continue praying for me as well.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please continue praying for me and again,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, January 28, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to do my personal PC work,but there were some problems on Yahoo.When I was signed into my Yahoo e-mail account,the e-mails were having a hard time loading.I kept pushing retry,but that also didn't work.I signed out and tried the other web browsers that I have downloaded,but unfortunately,the problem persisted.I decided to sign out of Yahoo for a while and waited for about half an hour to return to doing my work,which worked.I finished my work and I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed for the rest of the week.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with and at times,it can get pretty difficult and exhausting.My moods and/or emotions very by the day and sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I am still attending my therapy sessions,which tomorrow will be when I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of the power of God and his son Christ Jesus collectively whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great that I am not struggling alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for the power that they provide to help get me through all the negative stuff that my disability can bring and try to bring me down.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out and that is when the erection started to soften.I got up and started to walk and the erection got even softer.After using the bathroom,I headed back to bed and to sleep and when I got back to bed,the erection had fully died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting to sexual images of men.Whenever these images try to envelope me,I always have the urge to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,ejaculation does occur in the midst of it.When these urges came around at me,I immediately turned to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations.I kept up in prayer to him and his son Christ Jesus until the urges died down and my mind was clear.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around and I also ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight this particular urge and to get the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog to keep up in prayer for me because I am still in desperate need of prayer as these temptations have been coming at me from all sides.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your encouraging words and prayers help keep me going.Please don;t be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for also being there for me and for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,as stated,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I am hoping that it all goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to do my personal PC work,but there were some problems on Yahoo.When I was signed into my Yahoo e-mail account,the e-mails were having a hard time loading.I kept pushing retry,but that also didn't work.I signed out and tried the other web browsers that I have downloaded,but unfortunately,the problem persisted.I decided to sign out of Yahoo for a while and waited for about half an hour to return to doing my work,which worked.I finished my work and I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed for the rest of the week.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with and at times,it can get pretty difficult and exhausting.My moods and/or emotions very by the day and sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I am still attending my therapy sessions,which tomorrow will be when I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of the power of God and his son Christ Jesus collectively whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great that I am not struggling alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for the power that they provide to help get me through all the negative stuff that my disability can bring and try to bring me down.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out and that is when the erection started to soften.I got up and started to walk and the erection got even softer.After using the bathroom,I headed back to bed and to sleep and when I got back to bed,the erection had fully died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting to sexual images of men.Whenever these images try to envelope me,I always have the urge to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,ejaculation does occur in the midst of it.When these urges came around at me,I immediately turned to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations.I kept up in prayer to him and his son Christ Jesus until the urges died down and my mind was clear.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around and I also ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight this particular urge and to get the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog to keep up in prayer for me because I am still in desperate need of prayer as these temptations have been coming at me from all sides.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your encouraging words and prayers help keep me going.Please don;t be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for also being there for me and for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,as stated,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I am hoping that it all goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though a little later than I wanted to,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in suit and headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as there were quite a few people worshiping today.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I still attend my therapy sessions,which I have this coming Tuesday when I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not suffering alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came to me again in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tried tossing and turning,but to no avail.I sat up and didn't touch myself as I did have the overwhelming urge to do that as well.This time,I really had to throw this temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this urge.At times,and this wee early morning hour today was no exception,sexual images and lustful thoughts of other men cloud my mind and I really had to ask God and his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge and I kept up in prayer until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lustful thoughts of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping.Each and every time that urge came,I prayed to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all the urges.It is difficult struggling with SSA and it is never an easy thing,but the best thing is that God and his son Christ Jesus are always there to help out when they are asked.It is great that they are because without them,I would be falling and giving into the urges everyday and every night.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please leave an encouraging comment or two and also,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though a little later than I wanted to,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in suit and headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as there were quite a few people worshiping today.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I still attend my therapy sessions,which I have this coming Tuesday when I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not suffering alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came to me again in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tried tossing and turning,but to no avail.I sat up and didn't touch myself as I did have the overwhelming urge to do that as well.This time,I really had to throw this temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this urge.At times,and this wee early morning hour today was no exception,sexual images and lustful thoughts of other men cloud my mind and I really had to ask God and his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge and I kept up in prayer until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lustful thoughts of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping.Each and every time that urge came,I prayed to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all the urges.It is difficult struggling with SSA and it is never an easy thing,but the best thing is that God and his son Christ Jesus are always there to help out when they are asked.It is great that they are because without them,I would be falling and giving into the urges everyday and every night.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please leave an encouraging comment or two and also,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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