Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,got dressed and before proceeding with the rest of the day,I had a light lunch.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money that I needed.After doing that,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away in a safe place and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and even my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I must confess that I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week when I masturbated to sexual images of men early this morning.I really felt miserable after this fall and though I did feel that way,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also pleaded for his mercy because I really felt so unworthy of him after this particular consecutive fall.I did feel better after that,but I was still tempted again throughout the rest of the day.Whenever the temptations came around and they were really aggressive,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I wish that at times,I never had to struggle with this terriblel thing because it is very difficult to struggle with,and it can try to wear out anyone who is trying to stay sexually sober and trying to please God amidst the struggle.The only thing that I refuse to do is give Satan and his minions what they want,which is to syurrender to these unnaturak desires that I have and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity,but I always willfully choose to stay home or if I go out,I try to seek out positive associations that I know won't lead to any sort of sinful sexual encounters.As usual,I am again asking that those who continually follow and read my blog to continue praying for me.I am in desperate need of prayer as I am going through a lot of difficult stuff right now that are very emotionally complex.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual monthly Men's Network meeting tomorrow and I am hoping that it goes great.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ