Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,my locally living sister and I got together to discuss some things with me in regards to a couple of bills.We talked for about five minutes and after I left her house,I proceeded to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to leave a message with a lawyer to get back to me to get everything rolling in regards to some legal work that needs to be done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods fluctuate at times by the day or by the minute.I never know how I will be mood or emotional wise.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes it even more tougher.It's bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenia mixed in makes it more difficult,because aside from the mood changes,I also have to put up with hearing things such as voices,sounds or other things that others can't hear aside from myself and at times,it drives me up the wall.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about these struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It is difficult struggling with any type of mental illness,but with God and Christ leading the way,I feel more at ease a little bit.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also for leading the way.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,it was a very overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I tossed and turned and when that didn't work,I sat up and I continued sitting up until the erection softened.When it did soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I actually gave into temptation later on in the morning when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect/near erect or leading up to orgasm and stopping.When this happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and after that,I felt better.Throughout the day,as I have in the days prior,I am continuing in prayer whenever that sort of temptation starts to come around.I don't want to do anything that would displease God nor offend him.I simply continue to throw the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I keep praying until the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I went on with the rest of the day and when the temptation came back,I prayed again and after that,continued moving on with the day.I feel better now knowing that God and Christ are there to help and lead the way.It is great to know that whenever I talk about any type of temptation that I am having with God,I feel better knowing that God hears,listens and is there to help me whenever I ask him to do so.It shows that I am not alone in my fight or struggle and that is wonderful.I am also still requesting prayers from those who follow my blog and read the posts as I still need everyone's prayerful support.I will also continue praying myself.Thanks for the prayers and Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,it is church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy as I have really nothing else planned.But if I have to leave the house for anything,I will leave it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,got some gas,picked a friend up and we headed to an event that we were invited to to see what prize we won.
My friend and I both got gift cards to use at Wal-Mart.After we received them,we headed for home,but before that,I had to stop somewhere to use the bathroom.After that,we headed straight home.
After dropping off my friend,I headed over to another event that I was invited to and got another Wal-Mart gift card.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I heated up some soup for lunch and after that,got dressed again to go to an appointment that I had with the same person at the same agency that I met with last week.
This meeting went as well as the first one.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD,on a daily basis.My moods fluctuate from being up and feeling good one day or one minute,to down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my emotions will be,either.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even worse and more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to contend with hearing sounds,voices and other things that other people can't hear other than me.It is never easy and at times,it can get nerve wracking and can cause even more anxiety.Still,I am continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle as I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and ask to be kept calm and serene.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed,but God and Christ have power beyond what any human therapy can give and/or provide.It shows that they are always there and that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.My craving or urge to masturbate really strengthens whenever I get an erection in the wee early morning hours.I simply sat up for a while and laid back down to return to sleep once the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into the temptation to touch myself inappropriately,but I stopped myself before it could go any further.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.All through the day,whenever that particular temptation came around,I continued in prayer to God constantly and kept asking him to help me resist the temptation to inappropriately touch myself and manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,the orgasm does lead to ejaculation and then I feel lousy after that.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong enough to resist this temptation and to help keep me at ease.I did it all day and I felt better each and every time that I did.I am also still asking for prayers by those who read my blog regularly and follow it.Please say prayers for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time that I am in as a result of my mom passing nearly a month ago.I am still learning to adjust to her not being here with me,while at the same time,I am still missing her and still feel sad and lonely as a result of the loss of her.I again ask for prayers to help me get through this difficult time as they are always appreciated.Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me.I really need some prayerful support right now.Thanks again in advance for prayers offered and Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.Since I had overslept,I hurried through my shower and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately and proceeded to go to my Thursday morning Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.When it was over,I had lunch at the group location as they were having pizza.After eating lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and I did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in and watched it.
I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.Though I haven't included this in previous entries,I am still getting in my daily recommended Holy Bible reading in and I have also been keeping up praying as I have been tempted to commit wrongful acts of a sexual nature.I have been praying endlessly and continually by throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talking about the temptation until the temptation is reduced to nil.I have been doing that repeatedly and have been feeling better.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Day after day,or at times minute after minute,I never know how my moods or emotions will be like.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices or other sounds that others can't hear.It really makes my struggles,including my SSA struggles,really difficult.Still,I continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too unbearable for me to handle or deal with.I simply talk about my mental health issues with God in his son Christ's name and they help in sustaining me.While I am still attending my therapy sessions and continuing to take my medication as directed,I still rely on God and Christ more as they give power beyond what any human therapy can provide.Human therapy is good,but the power that both God and his son Jesus Christ is much better as their power helps sustain me and keeps me a little more at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about my mental health issues with God and being sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,temptation to masturbate came really strong in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge this morning and the erection was really stiff and throbbing.I was also holding my breath as a result of this as I didn't want to give into this particular temptation.I started sitting up and I sat up for a few minutes and while I was sitting up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully limp,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into another temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulating them for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.I managed to stop myself in the midst of that fall and asked God to forgive me for the fall and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was being tempted like crazy repeatedly and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time any form of temptation started to creep up.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of Christ Jesus repeatedly throughout the day and I felt great.The temptations were reduced to nil and I felt stronger with each and every prayer.While I have been doing that,I am also still asking for everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I make to continue praying for me as well.Your prayers do help in keeping me going and also,to keep fighting and resisting every temptation that creeps around when I least expect it to come.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me as they also help in keeping me going.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with the same person that I met at the local agency last week.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Social Services office to check up on a few things.After doing that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,despite it being rocky,continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I am always on a constant emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too impossible for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggles with BPD and schizophrenia combination is never an easy one,but God helps keeps me sustained.It shows that I am not alone in my mental illness struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.They truly are helpful whenever I feel down and out as well as ready to give up and surrender.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply had to turn to the right side and the erection died down.I went back to sleep after wards and though I escaped this particular episode,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping started to come over me as I had gotten up out of bed.I was still feeling tired and I was really tempted to grab my genitals and start playing with them.When this happened,I simply took it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about the temptation and asked him for strength to fight and resist this temptation and I continued doing that throughout the day as the temptation to play with myself kept coming back as well as the urge to fantasize and masturbate to fantasies involving other men and such.I simply kept throwing everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better.I also did that all day yesterday and each time I did that,I felt better and relieved.Prayer does work if you give it a try and I am learning that more and more each day.It again shows that I am not alone in my struggles with SSA and that I am also not alone in my fight to resist any temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which I willfully refuse to let define me nor dictate to me as to how I will act.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and also,for getting me through each and every sort of sexual temptation.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group that I have to attend and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still on a rocky road that will be rocky for a while.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood nor my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.One day or one minute,I can be up and feeling good,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.At times,the struggle does feel seemingly unbearable.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It does show that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for simply being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection simply died down and after it softened,I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which I gave into,but stopped myself.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean thing and after that,I felt better.Though yesterday I was tempted many times and I did throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ through the day,I still gave into that unclean habit of touching myself inappropriately,but again,I stopped myself.Though I did ask God to forgive me and I do believe wholeheartedly that I am forgiven,I have to keep working on resisting this sort of temptation and every time that I am tempted,simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and ask for help and strength to resist.I need to do that every time that I am tempted and not just give into that and later ask to be forgiven.It takes more strength to throw every temptation on God in his son Christ's name than it is to give in and ask for forgiveness later after giving in.I am again asking for prayers by those who regularly follow my blog and read every post here.Please pray for me that I be strong to resist the temptation to give into any temptation and also have the strength,faith and courage to throw every temptation on God in Christ's name and ask for those things.Thanks in advance for the prayers as they are always appreciated and also,Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my mandatory medication management group at the local hospital,which was only an hour and the meeting went pretty good.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of batteries.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready to head over to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful and I was full after eating a few tacos.After that,I headed straight home and stayed there for the remainder of the day as I had nothing else to do.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.On one day,I could be up and feeling good while the next day,down and not so good and at times,it happens in the same day.I never know how my mood will be nor my emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets too seemingly unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God about the struggle and asking them for help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the late morning by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting involved as well.After that fall,which did bring me down,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.I was still being tempted throughout the day and I kept praying to God for strength to help me resist these temptations to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which led to the masturbation.I did ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and I do believe that I am forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God.I still need to work on praying to God more in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations try to overwhelm me.I need to go to them more and ask for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I also aks for prayer from those who do follow and read my blog.Prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for them and also,Thanks to God for forgiving my sins and also,Thanks to his son Christ for being the mediator between God and man on Earth and also,for dying for my sins and in his name,for his father forgiving my sins.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still continuing on.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with the members and also getting some lunch at a charity chicken barbecue,which another member of the church bought for me,I headed straight home to eat it and after that,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music before getting on to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
For dinner,I was supposed to go over to my niece's house for tacos,but her eldest daughter twisted her ankle accidently and since this happened,we postponed the taco dinner until tomorrow.I then proceeded to heat up something in the oven and after it was done cooking,I ate and I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues on,it is still a pretty rocky road as I am still trying to recover from my mom's passing.It won't be easy,but I know that the pain will pass in time.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with.I never know how my moods or emotion will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and asking them for help in keeping me at ease and asking to help me deal with this effectively and after that,I feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,which didn't last too long as I started to get up and after it died down after a short time,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give in later on when I was touching myself and manipulating my genitals for the sake of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.I asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt better.I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know what form it might take and when it does come around,I am always fighting to resist the urge and the urge to give in can be very overwhelming and strong.I need to learn to take the temptations to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus a lot more and ask for more strength to fight and resist these urges as giving into any temptation is sinful and also,unfulfilling.I simply ask God to forgive me when I do give in and though I feel better after receiving God's gift of forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I have to analyze myself and make sure that I don't fall the same way that I fell at the time that I did.I need to really throw these temptation onto God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them for help in helping me to resist these terrible temptations.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and everything.Please pray for me whoever reads this blog of mine.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a mandatory medication management group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.