Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.Since I had overslept,I hurried through my shower and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately and proceeded to go to my Thursday morning Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.When it was over,I had lunch at the group location as they were having pizza.After eating lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and I did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in and watched it.
I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.Though I haven't included this in previous entries,I am still getting in my daily recommended Holy Bible reading in and I have also been keeping up praying as I have been tempted to commit wrongful acts of a sexual nature.I have been praying endlessly and continually by throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talking about the temptation until the temptation is reduced to nil.I have been doing that repeatedly and have been feeling better.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Day after day,or at times minute after minute,I never know how my moods or emotions will be like.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices or other sounds that others can't hear.It really makes my struggles,including my SSA struggles,really difficult.Still,I continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too unbearable for me to handle or deal with.I simply talk about my mental health issues with God in his son Christ's name and they help in sustaining me.While I am still attending my therapy sessions and continuing to take my medication as directed,I still rely on God and Christ more as they give power beyond what any human therapy can provide.Human therapy is good,but the power that both God and his son Jesus Christ is much better as their power helps sustain me and keeps me a little more at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about my mental health issues with God and being sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,temptation to masturbate came really strong in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge this morning and the erection was really stiff and throbbing.I was also holding my breath as a result of this as I didn't want to give into this particular temptation.I started sitting up and I sat up for a few minutes and while I was sitting up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully limp,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into another temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulating them for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.I managed to stop myself in the midst of that fall and asked God to forgive me for the fall and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was being tempted like crazy repeatedly and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time any form of temptation started to creep up.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of Christ Jesus repeatedly throughout the day and I felt great.The temptations were reduced to nil and I felt stronger with each and every prayer.While I have been doing that,I am also still asking for everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I make to continue praying for me as well.Your prayers do help in keeping me going and also,to keep fighting and resisting every temptation that creeps around when I least expect it to come.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me as they also help in keeping me going.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with the same person that I met at the local agency last week.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ