Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,got some gas,picked a friend up and we headed to an event that we were invited to to see what prize we won.
My friend and I both got gift cards to use at Wal-Mart.After we received them,we headed for home,but before that,I had to stop somewhere to use the bathroom.After that,we headed straight home.
After dropping off my friend,I headed over to another event that I was invited to and got another Wal-Mart gift card.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I heated up some soup for lunch and after that,got dressed again to go to an appointment that I had with the same person at the same agency that I met with last week.
This meeting went as well as the first one.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD,on a daily basis.My moods fluctuate from being up and feeling good one day or one minute,to down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my emotions will be,either.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even worse and more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to contend with hearing sounds,voices and other things that other people can't hear other than me.It is never easy and at times,it can get nerve wracking and can cause even more anxiety.Still,I am continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle as I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and ask to be kept calm and serene.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed,but God and Christ have power beyond what any human therapy can give and/or provide.It shows that they are always there and that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.My craving or urge to masturbate really strengthens whenever I get an erection in the wee early morning hours.I simply sat up for a while and laid back down to return to sleep once the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into the temptation to touch myself inappropriately,but I stopped myself before it could go any further.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.All through the day,whenever that particular temptation came around,I continued in prayer to God constantly and kept asking him to help me resist the temptation to inappropriately touch myself and manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,the orgasm does lead to ejaculation and then I feel lousy after that.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong enough to resist this temptation and to help keep me at ease.I did it all day and I felt better each and every time that I did.I am also still asking for prayers by those who read my blog regularly and follow it.Please say prayers for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time that I am in as a result of my mom passing nearly a month ago.I am still learning to adjust to her not being here with me,while at the same time,I am still missing her and still feel sad and lonely as a result of the loss of her.I again ask for prayers to help me get through this difficult time as they are always appreciated.Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me.I really need some prayerful support right now.Thanks again in advance for prayers offered and Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ