Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Social Services office to check up on a few things.After doing that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,despite it being rocky,continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I am always on a constant emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too impossible for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggles with BPD and schizophrenia combination is never an easy one,but God helps keeps me sustained.It shows that I am not alone in my mental illness struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.They truly are helpful whenever I feel down and out as well as ready to give up and surrender.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply had to turn to the right side and the erection died down.I went back to sleep after wards and though I escaped this particular episode,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping started to come over me as I had gotten up out of bed.I was still feeling tired and I was really tempted to grab my genitals and start playing with them.When this happened,I simply took it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about the temptation and asked him for strength to fight and resist this temptation and I continued doing that throughout the day as the temptation to play with myself kept coming back as well as the urge to fantasize and masturbate to fantasies involving other men and such.I simply kept throwing everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better.I also did that all day yesterday and each time I did that,I felt better and relieved.Prayer does work if you give it a try and I am learning that more and more each day.It again shows that I am not alone in my struggles with SSA and that I am also not alone in my fight to resist any temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which I willfully refuse to let define me nor dictate to me as to how I will act.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and also,for getting me through each and every sort of sexual temptation.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group that I have to attend and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ