Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my mandatory medication management group at the local hospital,which was only an hour and the meeting went pretty good.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of batteries.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready to head over to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful and I was full after eating a few tacos.After that,I headed straight home and stayed there for the remainder of the day as I had nothing else to do.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.On one day,I could be up and feeling good while the next day,down and not so good and at times,it happens in the same day.I never know how my mood will be nor my emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets too seemingly unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God about the struggle and asking them for help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the late morning by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting involved as well.After that fall,which did bring me down,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.I was still being tempted throughout the day and I kept praying to God for strength to help me resist these temptations to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which led to the masturbation.I did ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and I do believe that I am forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God.I still need to work on praying to God more in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations try to overwhelm me.I need to go to them more and ask for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I also aks for prayer from those who do follow and read my blog.Prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for them and also,Thanks to God for forgiving my sins and also,Thanks to his son Christ for being the mediator between God and man on Earth and also,for dying for my sins and in his name,for his father forgiving my sins.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ