Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still on a rocky road that will be rocky for a while.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood nor my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.One day or one minute,I can be up and feeling good,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.At times,the struggle does feel seemingly unbearable.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It does show that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for simply being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection simply died down and after it softened,I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which I gave into,but stopped myself.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean thing and after that,I felt better.Though yesterday I was tempted many times and I did throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ through the day,I still gave into that unclean habit of touching myself inappropriately,but again,I stopped myself.Though I did ask God to forgive me and I do believe wholeheartedly that I am forgiven,I have to keep working on resisting this sort of temptation and every time that I am tempted,simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and ask for help and strength to resist.I need to do that every time that I am tempted and not just give into that and later ask to be forgiven.It takes more strength to throw every temptation on God in his son Christ's name than it is to give in and ask for forgiveness later after giving in.I am again asking for prayers by those who regularly follow my blog and read every post here.Please pray for me that I be strong to resist the temptation to give into any temptation and also have the strength,faith and courage to throw every temptation on God in Christ's name and ask for those things.Thanks in advance for the prayers as they are always appreciated and also,Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ