Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still continuing on.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with the members and also getting some lunch at a charity chicken barbecue,which another member of the church bought for me,I headed straight home to eat it and after that,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music before getting on to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
For dinner,I was supposed to go over to my niece's house for tacos,but her eldest daughter twisted her ankle accidently and since this happened,we postponed the taco dinner until tomorrow.I then proceeded to heat up something in the oven and after it was done cooking,I ate and I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues on,it is still a pretty rocky road as I am still trying to recover from my mom's passing.It won't be easy,but I know that the pain will pass in time.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with.I never know how my moods or emotion will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and asking them for help in keeping me at ease and asking to help me deal with this effectively and after that,I feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,which didn't last too long as I started to get up and after it died down after a short time,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give in later on when I was touching myself and manipulating my genitals for the sake of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.I asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt better.I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know what form it might take and when it does come around,I am always fighting to resist the urge and the urge to give in can be very overwhelming and strong.I need to learn to take the temptations to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus a lot more and ask for more strength to fight and resist these urges as giving into any temptation is sinful and also,unfulfilling.I simply ask God to forgive me when I do give in and though I feel better after receiving God's gift of forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I have to analyze myself and make sure that I don't fall the same way that I fell at the time that I did.I need to really throw these temptation onto God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them for help in helping me to resist these terrible temptations.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and everything.Please pray for me whoever reads this blog of mine.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a mandatory medication management group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.