Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned for today.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some things as I had a gift card to use there from the place where the groups that I go to meet.It was great to have some additional money to do some much needed shopping.After shopping at that particular supermarket,I went to another one to pick up a few more things and after paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.Admittedly,it was a little tricky driving today as a result of a small snow fall that happened overnight.The weather was cold and the roads were a little slippery.But I managed to get everything that needed to get done accomplished.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
I was hoping to spend the entire rest of the evening at home,but I got called to babysit at my niece's house while she and her live in boyfriend went out for a while to visit with some people that they knew.I really didn't like this,but what can I do.I couldn't as well as can't be selfish and say no.I agreed and spent some time over there and babysat at the same time.I am just hoping that tomorrow my day will be uninterrupted by anything as I want to relax and take it easy tomorrow for the whole day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring it to both God and his son Jesus Christ in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last very long.When I started to sit up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and went to sleep when it was fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation in the morning when I was still tired and sitting in a chair by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping.I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that latter temptation and I did feel better.I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts here and I am still asking that an encouraging word or two be posted in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that many people visit my blog,but leave nothing in comments for me to be encouraged.Again,your encouraging words are desperately needed by me and also,your prayers as both of them help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome SSA.I will also keep praying.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to the gastro doctor's office to see the results of my esophagus check-up.
The doctor informed me that there were no problems.I didn't have any ulcers or anything else.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the group site to pick up a gift card that they were holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I headed out again as I had an appointment with my case worker.
The meeting with my case worker went well.After a quick lunch at a nearby Burger King,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I picked up a bill that I forgot earlier and I headed over to the post office to mail it out with a money order.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.After the movie was over,I finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,I am feeling better than I did yesterday.Though I am still aching a little,it isn't as bad as it was yesterday.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I also have nothing to fear.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation again in the wee early morning hours by masturbating.This complex emotional pattern is really starting to take it's toll on me.This is another fall and after it happened,I really felt miserable.I prayed to God to ask him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better.As stated,the complex emotional pattern that I am going through right now is really putting me into a tailspin.This is the first holiday season without my mom being here and also,the stress of me being sick yesterday and all other sorts of things contributed even more negativisms to the current emotional state that I am in at this moment.I am hoping that I will get over this complex emotional pattern soon as I really don't want to act out by masturbating or even by lusting anymore as I am really starting to get sick and tired of this entire SSA struggle.But I am not throwing in the towel.That is what Satan and his minions want.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continually follows and reads my blog posts and I am again appealing top all of you for some kind words of encouragement in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors,but nobody posts anything of encouragement to me at all.I would really appreciate some kind words of encouragement and please keep up the prayers.I will also keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues on.I had a pretty miserable day today.
Today,I woke up in pain.My head was hurting and my right leg and my foot was also hurting.I called to let the people know that I wouldn't be coming into group as a result of feeling aches and pains and that I just wasn't feeling well.After calling them,I showered and after the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I closed off the internet and I laid down on the sofa for a while hoping that my headache and my other aches and pains would go away.I was really feeling miserable and in pain.
I only did one thing today.I went to a local store to pick something up.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I tried to pass the time away by watching a movie,but it didn't really do too much to cheer me up.
I had only a light meal today as I really wasn't in the mood to have anything heavy.After I was finished eating,I watched a little TV,but still,it did little to cheer me up.Overall,a pretty miserable day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in despite the misery.
As a result of me not feeling well enough today,I have chosen to hold off on talking about my BPD and SSA struggles until tomorrow,if I am feeling better.I do have only one thing on my agenda tomorrow and that is to go to the doctor's office to get the results of my esophagus check-up.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having myself a quick lunch at home,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came over me again in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This one was a real throbber and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and I turned and also sat up when it didn't work and as I sat up,the erection softened and after it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ because the urges kept coming back.They were really attacking me on both sides and I really had to pour my soul out to God and his son Jesus Christ and I felt better each time.I kept it up all day and I the feelings were still the same.I am also again asking that everyone out there who follows and reads my blog posts to keep up in prayer to me and I am also again asking for positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and my usual lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today,I simply went to a local Dollar Tree store and I picked up something for lunch.After paying for the item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate lunch and after that,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with on a daily basis.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about nor dread when both God and Christ are there to get me through.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,a double whammy hit me late last night and in the wee early morning hours today when I gave into temptation last night by masturbating and when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened as I didn't want to give in again like I did late last night.When I did give in late last night,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and also pleaded to God for his mercy as this was yet another fall of mine as a result of lustful images of men creeping into my mentality.I am really going through a very complex emotional pattern right now as a result of this being the holiday season and that it is the first without my mom being around.I am now seeing that Satan is using this complex emotional pattern to really try to make it difficult for me to continue in my fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires that are related to the SSA condition.It is bad enough that I am going through this terrible SSA thing,but the complex emotions that are really starting to pile up mentally on me is just too much for me to handle right now.Since my mom died in September of this year,I am really starting to feel the loneliness of not having her around and also,I am still feeling her absence and it is really getting to me.I know that these things will heal in time and that it will take a while for me to really adjust to this.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow and read my blog as I really desperately need them.I am also again asking that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as my blog does attract visitors,but nobody leaves a word or two of encouragement for me.Both prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and also,they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I decided to get dressed and proceed with the rest of the day.
I first mailed out a whole bunch of Christmas cards today and since I was running late,I headed over to the group place,but when I arrived there,they told me that the group was canceled as a result of a function that was going on.As a result of this inconvenience,including not being told ahead of time about such things,such as a group cancellation,I headed for home a little disappointed.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to deposit a refund check that I just received.After that,I went to the gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty quiet day and I did manage to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still struggling with the daily struggles of having BPD and still continuing to deal with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really don't know if I am coming or going here.I again gave into temptation today by masturbating and yes,there was lusting involved with this as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I really asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this particular fall and asked for God's mercy at the same time.I have been falling pretty much lately.This year,the holiday season is bringing me mixed emotions.This is actually the first holiday season without my mom and a lot of complex emotional patterns are really taking their toll on me.As stated,I really don't know if I am coming or going and it is really bringing me down.Though I did feel better and know that I was forgiven for this fall,I have to keep in mind that Satan is going to use these complex emotions as his weapon to get me to sin seriously.I have to continue to work on staying strong and keeping aware of Satan's motives.I am just going to have to start praying really hard and really and seriously ask God for the strength to get me through the complex emotions that I am experiencing as a result of my mom's absence during this holiday season.I am still missing her and I am still wishing that she were still here rather than deceased.I am going to have to really work hard and keep praying.I don't want to sin,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,nearly oversleeping,and showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home.I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I firs had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was invited to a birthday party for a long time friend of mine and after I got dressed when my personal PC work was done,I headed over to his place to pick him up and take him to where the party was being held.
The party was wonderful.After it was over,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home myself.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church makes the day eventful and the birthday party was swell indeed.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was once again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep once it did.Fortunately for me,I was around some company as a result of the birthday party and that was wonderful as since I was around others,I wasn't tempted to act out by other means aside from seeking out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I didn't get any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping or even to masturbate.While it didn't happen for much of the day,I am still asking that all of you who repeatedly follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and to also write an encouraging word or two in the comments section on my blog as both your prayers and comments help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ