Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to pick up a few prescriptions from the drug store and after that,I headed for the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.If having the ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever I involve my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ in this particular struggle,I do feel a tad better as they both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.Though it was slow going,it started to soften when I got out of bed to go to the bathroom as I had to use it pretty bad.My genitals were fully soft after I was finished.I went right back to sleep and subsequently to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,I must admit,though guiltily,there was lusting and fantasizing involved with this as sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was doing the former thing mentioned.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I was truly forgiven and the slate was wiped clean by my Heavenly Father.I had to keep up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father as the temptations again kept coming at me from all sides.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and it never gets any easier.It keeps getting even more difficult by the day.I had to keep praying for strength as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I also ask that you also please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need prayers and encouraging words to help keep me going and also,to make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first did some cleaning up around the house and that took a while to do.After that was done,I relaxed for a while before going out in the later afternoon to drop off another job application someplace.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing with the issues that are connected with having BPD and the consistent emotional roller coaster ride that I keep going through day after day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,in which I also have to put with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds like footsteps and turning around to find nobody there and hearing voices calling my name that only I can hear.It is a living hell going through this very difficult double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have to endure day after day and at times,I wish that I didn't have to.I still continue to go to my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting the better of me,I simply throw it on my Heavenly Father and ask him to get me through all of the stresses of this psychiatric disability double whammy that I have,and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the stresses of this and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here and that does make me feel a little bit better and knowing that they are doing all they can to help me through this particular struggle.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also to help keep me on a level plain and in their own way,telling me that they're there and that they're doing everything in their power to help get me through this.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom and as I walked there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as well.Alongside these,I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of reaching orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I know that it isn't a sin to be tempted,but I do know that it is sinful to give into any temptation.Again,I kept up in prayer all day as these temptations kept coming at me.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I prayed real hard as each and every resistance only makes the temptations come back stronger than the last time and I did feel better and much stronger after I prayed as I truly believed and had faith that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I submit here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rarely left for me.I need both emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am going through this difficult SSA struggle and I can't go it alone here.Again,I need the emotional support and emotional encouragement of everyone who follows my blog and reads everything here.I need these things to help keep me going in this difficult SSA struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming,and to continue to seek healing from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle.I really need this emotional support and emotional encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first did some cleaning up around the house and that took a while to do.After that was done,I relaxed for a while before going out in the later afternoon to drop off another job application someplace.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing with the issues that are connected with having BPD and the consistent emotional roller coaster ride that I keep going through day after day,or at other times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,in which I also have to put with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds like footsteps and turning around to find nobody there and hearing voices calling my name that only I can hear.It is a living hell going through this very difficult double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have to endure day after day and at times,I wish that I didn't have to.I still continue to go to my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting the better of me,I simply throw it on my Heavenly Father and ask him to get me through all of the stresses of this psychiatric disability double whammy that I have,and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the stresses of this and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here and that does make me feel a little bit better and knowing that they are doing all they can to help me through this particular struggle.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also to help keep me on a level plain and in their own way,telling me that they're there and that they're doing everything in their power to help get me through this.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom and as I walked there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men as well.Alongside these,I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of reaching orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I know that it isn't a sin to be tempted,but I do know that it is sinful to give into any temptation.Again,I kept up in prayer all day as these temptations kept coming at me.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I prayed real hard as each and every resistance only makes the temptations come back stronger than the last time and I did feel better and much stronger after I prayed as I truly believed and had faith that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I submit here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rarely left for me.I need both emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am going through this difficult SSA struggle and I can't go it alone here.Again,I need the emotional support and emotional encouragement of everyone who follows my blog and reads everything here.I need these things to help keep me going in this difficult SSA struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming,and to continue to seek healing from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle.I really need this emotional support and emotional encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting went well.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to do a little bit of reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which means that I also have hallucinatory effects to deal with,such as hearing sounds and/or voices that nobody else hears,but only I hear.This makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to get the better of me,I simply take it to my Heavenly Father and ask him to carry me through all the effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in not only keeping me sustained,but on an even and level plain.I am never alone here in regards to this particular struggle and that makes me feel not only a tad better,but a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I tossed and turned to fight and resist this temptation,but that made the erection throb.I then proceeded to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom as I had to use it.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and it never gets any easier.I get tempted to indulge in any sort of sexual activity day after day and believe me,it gets tougher by the day.I get tempted to look at porn,fantasize and to also go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them,but when that latter temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I kept up in prayer whenever any temptations come at me from all sides and I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I felt much stronger after praying for strength and if the temptations come back,I pray again for the same thing.I always feel much better and much stronger after doing so.Though I have been keeping up in prayer all day and every day,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am still going through this very difficult and trying emotional time.I am also asking that all of you to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I keep asking for encouraging words because my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by them.I need your prayers and your encouraging words to motivate me to keep going in this particular fight and struggle.They motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I wok up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting went well.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to do a little bit of reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which means that I also have hallucinatory effects to deal with,such as hearing sounds and/or voices that nobody else hears,but only I hear.This makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to get the better of me,I simply take it to my Heavenly Father and ask him to carry me through all the effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in not only keeping me sustained,but on an even and level plain.I am never alone here in regards to this particular struggle and that makes me feel not only a tad better,but a little more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I tossed and turned to fight and resist this temptation,but that made the erection throb.I then proceeded to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom as I had to use it.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and it never gets any easier.I get tempted to indulge in any sort of sexual activity day after day and believe me,it gets tougher by the day.I get tempted to look at porn,fantasize and to also go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them,but when that latter temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I kept up in prayer whenever any temptations come at me from all sides and I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I felt much stronger after praying for strength and if the temptations come back,I pray again for the same thing.I always feel much better and much stronger after doing so.Though I have been keeping up in prayer all day and every day,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am still going through this very difficult and trying emotional time.I am also asking that all of you to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I keep asking for encouraging words because my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by them.I need your prayers and your encouraging words to motivate me to keep going in this particular fight and struggle.They motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Before leaving the house,I cleaned up a mess in the backseat of my car.I had quite a few loose empty bottles and cans all over the place in the backseat.After that was done,I headed out to put in a few more job applications in a few local places and after that,I headed for a local supermarket to turn in all the bottles and cans that I had.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It is very complicated going through this and if having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,as I have to endure hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds and voices that only I can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talk about it.I ask him for strength to get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me.It makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are there to help me get through anything.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply turned to the opposite side while still in bed and within a minute,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and fortunately,I was able to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.The temptation t act out by fantasies and lusting kept coming at me all through the day.Alongside them,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these images also came at me.As these temptations kept coming at me,I kept up asking my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these urges and I did feel stronger after doing so.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that when visiting,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words as they both help keep me going in this particular struggle as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Before leaving the house,I cleaned up a mess in the backseat of my car.I had quite a few loose empty bottles and cans all over the place in the backseat.After that was done,I headed out to put in a few more job applications in a few local places and after that,I headed for a local supermarket to turn in all the bottles and cans that I had.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It is very complicated going through this and if having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,as I have to endure hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing sounds and voices that only I can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talk about it.I ask him for strength to get me through the difficulties of this psychiatric disability that I have and they both help in sustaining me.It makes me feel a tad better knowing that they are there to help me get through anything.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply turned to the opposite side while still in bed and within a minute,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and fortunately,I was able to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.The temptation t act out by fantasies and lusting kept coming at me all through the day.Alongside them,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these images also came at me.As these temptations kept coming at me,I kept up asking my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these urges and I did feel stronger after doing so.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that when visiting,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words as they both help keep me going in this particular struggle as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had plans to work with someone in my church to see about having the church services broadcast on public access television.As a result of this,I had an early dinner so I wouldn't have to pick up a can of soup or anything else canned as a quick dinner after returning home.Before talking with him,I had a light lunch and decided to do my recommended Holy Bible reading early in the day so I could simply take it easy and relax until it was time for me to go to bed.I also received information about a job somewhere and I told him that I would pay a visit to the place tomorrow afternoon and inquire about it.
The meeting that we had with the public access station went pretty good and they informed us that they would be in touch.After the meeting was over,we left and I dropped him off at home.I also headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while until it was time for me to go to bed.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotion will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same days.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and also,my struggles with SSA at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and though it was slow going,the erection did start to soften and when I headed for the doorway of my room,the erection started to soften a little bit more.After finishing in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted at a few times throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.Though today it wasn't as bad as on other days,the temptations still kept on coming.I kept myself busy as the day went on when it came to talking about having church services from the church I worship at be broadcast on public access at the public access TV station.Though I have been keeping up in prayer to my Heavenly Father,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave a positive word or two of encouragement for me in the comments.I need all I can get to continue in this fight against this terrible SSA and to also motivate me to continue to seek healing from SSA as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of inquiring about the job opening,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had plans to work with someone in my church to see about having the church services broadcast on public access television.As a result of this,I had an early dinner so I wouldn't have to pick up a can of soup or anything else canned as a quick dinner after returning home.Before talking with him,I had a light lunch and decided to do my recommended Holy Bible reading early in the day so I could simply take it easy and relax until it was time for me to go to bed.I also received information about a job somewhere and I told him that I would pay a visit to the place tomorrow afternoon and inquire about it.
The meeting that we had with the public access station went pretty good and they informed us that they would be in touch.After the meeting was over,we left and I dropped him off at home.I also headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while until it was time for me to go to bed.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotion will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same days.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and also,my struggles with SSA at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and though it was slow going,the erection did start to soften and when I headed for the doorway of my room,the erection started to soften a little bit more.After finishing in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted at a few times throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.Though today it wasn't as bad as on other days,the temptations still kept on coming.I kept myself busy as the day went on when it came to talking about having church services from the church I worship at be broadcast on public access at the public access TV station.Though I have been keeping up in prayer to my Heavenly Father,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave a positive word or two of encouragement for me in the comments.I need all I can get to continue in this fight against this terrible SSA and to also motivate me to continue to seek healing from SSA as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of inquiring about the job opening,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, June 17, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I returned a few phone calls and after that,I did my personal PC work.I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and eagerly awaited another phone call to come.After that,I simply relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father whenever I feel that it is starting to get way too difficult for me to handle.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me as well as keeping me level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by another erection.I had to go to the bathroom,so I got up and walked there and as I walked there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside these sexual images of men that clouded my mind.I prayed hard to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall.After praying,I felt much stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and he gave me what I asked for.Though I have been doing this,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words make me feel stronger and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue to seek healing for the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans as of yet.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I returned a few phone calls and after that,I did my personal PC work.I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and eagerly awaited another phone call to come.After that,I simply relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father whenever I feel that it is starting to get way too difficult for me to handle.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me as well as keeping me level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by another erection.I had to go to the bathroom,so I got up and walked there and as I walked there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside these sexual images of men that clouded my mind.I prayed hard to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall.After praying,I felt much stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and he gave me what I asked for.Though I have been doing this,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words make me feel stronger and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue to seek healing for the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans as of yet.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Today was a very special service as it was honoring graduates from Kindergarten and 8th graders from the school that is run by the church.It was a little bit longer than most and it was still wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I also did my personal PC work as well.After that,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church each and every Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,and ask him to help get me through this and they both help in keeping me level and also,sustained.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften.When my genitals softened,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really threw all these temptations on him and pleaded to make me strong in resisting them and I felt stronger and much better after praying.These terrible temptations do keep coming at me from all sides.They are very difficult for me to resist and I keep on praying whenever they keep coming at me.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I keep asking these things because I do need daily motivators to help keep me going in this fight and struggle as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and also,make me even determined to continue in this journey out of SSA and to continue to seek healing from SSA as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Today was a very special service as it was honoring graduates from Kindergarten and 8th graders from the school that is run by the church.It was a little bit longer than most and it was still wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I also did my personal PC work as well.After that,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church each and every Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,and ask him to help get me through this and they both help in keeping me level and also,sustained.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften.When my genitals softened,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals to these sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really threw all these temptations on him and pleaded to make me strong in resisting them and I felt stronger and much better after praying.These terrible temptations do keep coming at me from all sides.They are very difficult for me to resist and I keep on praying whenever they keep coming at me.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I keep asking these things because I do need daily motivators to help keep me going in this fight and struggle as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and also,make me even determined to continue in this journey out of SSA and to continue to seek healing from SSA as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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