Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to pick up a few prescriptions from the drug store and after that,I headed for the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.If having the ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever I involve my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ in this particular struggle,I do feel a tad better as they both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.Though it was slow going,it started to soften when I got out of bed to go to the bathroom as I had to use it pretty bad.My genitals were fully soft after I was finished.I went right back to sleep and subsequently to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,I must admit,though guiltily,there was lusting and fantasizing involved with this as sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was doing the former thing mentioned.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I was truly forgiven and the slate was wiped clean by my Heavenly Father.I had to keep up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father as the temptations again kept coming at me from all sides.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and it never gets any easier.It keeps getting even more difficult by the day.I had to keep praying for strength as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I also ask that you also please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need prayers and encouraging words to help keep me going and also,to make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ